Welcome to Enid’s pity party.


I actually like the way Enid is depicted here. I like her full (healthy) face and think she looks pretty. Don’t love the hairstyle and the pink/green outfit combo, but you win some and lose some.

I decided to read this one because Enid is so often depicted as Elizabeth’s “yes” girl that I have been lying awake at night wondering what ENID’s hopes and dreams are. Well, the twins have their own chapters from their POV in this one. Enid can’t even get a whole book to herself!

Magically, it is Christmastime again. Not to be mistaken with the MS hoax or the psycho killer Christmases, mind you. Liz is fucking moping around because Todd is going to Vermont for the break. GET OVER IT. Really. She’s like so depressed about it and mopes the entire time. He’ll be gone for about 8 days. Liz, why don’t you cheat on him, that always seems to make you feel better.

So Liz is depressed so Enid of course feels it is her personal duty to be there for Liz and drop everything to make her feel better. Enid gushes how luuuuucky she is to be friends with Liz, because “she was warm and friendly and everyone at school likes her”. Once, when Enid was a raging alcoholic wildchild, she would never DESERVE the friendship of someone like Liz. Enid got high freshman year and drove around with a guy named Brian and they killed a kid. Yet another thinly veiled reason to scare kids off alcohol and drugs.

Oh barf: “Enid didn’t have a boyfriend at the moment. Recently she broke up with Hugh Grayson. It would be fun to go shopping, see movies, and just hang out with Elizabeth. Romance was special, but so was best-friendship.” Seriously, Enid has a really unhealthy obsession with Elizabeth. For her Christmas present, Enid buys her a silk, heart-shaped box. Um.

What else is going on in pathetic Enid’s life: oh yea, her parents are divorced, and her father is coming into to town but her mother is bad mouthing her father to Enid. Enid meets him at his hotel, and realizes he is already drunk before noon. She calls him out on it and tells him his drinking is out of control, he tells her “I remember a time when you enjoyed a drink or two.” BAM! HE WENT THERE!

Also, Enid has been hanging out with Jeffrey French, but it seems all he wants to do is talk about Elizabeth. Elizabeth, being the egomaniac she is, brings cookies to Jeffrey on Xmas Eve, and further torments him so he can still be in love with her. HATE. LIZ. SO. MUCH. Enid’s pissed because she came over to Jeffrey’s in her very special Xmas outfit, which consisted of “a white turtleneck, swingy red skirt, and green headband.” Welcome to third grade, Enid. And her present to Jeffrey, a quart of ice cream (wtf? Please don’t ask.) Enid finally starts to get mad at Elizabeth for always having to be the center of attention and making it all about her.

Furthermore, she sees Jeffrey and Liz together at the Xmas party, so she finally gets some ovaries and gets mad at Liz, and goes of with her friend Brian, a guy from her “wild past”. They get high and drunk at Miller’s point.  Jess meets a guy at the party and five minutes later she drags him to Miller’s point- and she calls people a slut? She sees Enid all sloshed and immediately runs back to the party to gossip about it. When she gets back everyone calls her a fucking idiot for not helping Enid. Hah hah. Also, why in the holy hell are these kids so uptight about alcohol and drugs? It’s one of the most unbelievable aspects of the books.

Enid and Brian go for a joyride and then drive off and Brian flips the car. Luckily, Enid’s father gets there just in time to save them from the exploding car! Plus, he’s cured! He’s going to rehab! Everything is perfect! It’s the miracle of Christmas!

So Jeffrey is suddenly over Liz, he and Liz have a hearty chuckly over their painful breakup, and he realizes that he maybe does like Enid, but Enid actually grows bigger ovaries and decides she doesn’t just want to be Jeffrey’s alternative to Liz. So it ends with their relationship up in the air. Hundred bucks says their realtionship is never mentioned again.

Enid really needs to get a new idenity other than Liz’s best friend. Actually, Enid with a substance abuse problem is waaaayyyy more interesting than Enid the sycophant.

a record release party in Portland! or Sunset Island #2, Sunset Kiss

Ok, this might have been the single most enjoyable reading experience of my young adult life. I was absolutely obsessed with this book. Maybe because the bookish, “curvy” girl gets the rock star. It can happen. It is still giving me hope that Jack White will divorce his supermodel wife and buy a condo with me. Anyway.

We start out at a Graham Perry concert. Apparently he does like a concert all the time on Sunset Island. And why does Sunset Island have a coliseum? Anyway, the gals are backstage because of course Carrie got them passes. She is borrowing Billy Sampson’s camera to take pics to try to sell to Rolling Stone. Um, yea. Billy is the singer of Flirting With Danger, who is the opening act. Because major rock stars always have shitty local unsigned bands open for them. Just go with it. I have.

Kristy Powell, local slut and columnist for Sunet Island’s paper is all over Billy and Carrie is jealous. Onstage, Billy dedicates his song (it’s called “What? U Lie”) and the gals think it is for Carrie, but Carrie thinks it’s for Kristy Powell, a local columnist that he has been hanging around. It’s probably for neither. Apparently when Billy sings, he sounds like Bon Jovi or Jim Morrison. Who sound nothing alike. Just go with it.

The next night at the Play Cafe Billy shows up. Carrie goes to the bathroom to put on makeup, and when she comes out she realizes her nipples are hard. Billy notices too and asks her out. Nice.

Problem: Carrie doesn’t have the night off so she decides to sneak out and leave the kids alone after they are asleep. I know the BSC wouldn’t approve!

So they go to a record producer’s party in Portland (Maine). Carrie’s date outfit, styled by Sam: an orange t-shirt dress that she rips a slit up the side to her waist, and safety pins up the slit. And another ripped down the front to her navel, also done up with pins. And no bra. Holy shit. Carrie also “borrows” Claudia’s five hundred dollar wedge sandals.

So she downs two glasses of straight vodka and has a blast at the party, until she realizes its almost time for the last ferry so she can get back in time to sneak back in. So Billy takes her and she yacks off the edge the whole time. Kurt, Emmas’ boyf, drives her back in his taxi and she gets in on time. Phew! It is nice to see characters who actually drink underage.

So later Billy asks her to some after hours clam bake or something and she buys a new suit with a thong back. Ew. So the party is crazy! Someone is smoking pot! Kristy the slut is there and is dancing topless! She and Billy are totally getting along and they make out for a lil. Then Kristy gets high and wants everyone to go skinny-dipping in the ocean. Billy doesn’t want to, but Carrie thinks it will make her look fun and exciting. So then the cops come and arrest everyone, and Billy is peeved that Carrie acted like an ass. Graham Perry and Claudia have to pick her up from the station and she admits everything and about sneaking out and all is forgiven.

Finally, on the beach the next day Carrie loses her three-year old charge on the beach and Billy helps her find her, and Billy realizes what a caring person she is. Then they talk about photography more and realize they are in LUV. And Billy likes Carrie the way she was, so why did she try and pretend to be a sex god?

The parallel kid story is that Ian Templeton, the other kid Carrie takes care of, wants to hang out with older kids but they make fun of him. I think that also results in the message that you should be yourself.

The good thing is, they even give descriptions of boy clothes! On their first date, he wears “a western style denim shirt and black jeans”. What, no bolo tie? The guys often wear denim cutoffs and neon muscle shirts. Ah, the 90s.

In high school, Kristy was voted “girl most likely to” as in girl most likely to do “it”. Seriously, these kids need to get out more.

Also, Cherie Bennett is pretty cool, despite not answering some of your fan mail! Since Wikipedia did not exist in 1992, I did not know that she wrote for a soap opera. And she wrote other series? Anyone ever read them?