If this is love, I’ll take…nothing.

I’ve had a lull in my SVH devouring, but in the meantime please check out my recap of The Bachelor. If you have any comments please leave it after the article. The more people read and respond to it over on the site, the more they will let me write.

Although The Brothel may actually be worse than a SVH book.

Eyes & Ears

I’m off to New York for a couple of weeks and although I will do my best to post some stuff, it’s no guarantee. I mean, I am going to be super busy in New York. Once I am there I am going to meet a guy who is going to turn out to be a famous German rock star, and I’ll be so mad that I’ll break up with him and then run right into the arms of a guy who is really a werewolf who lives in the sewers. On top of that, someone who looks exactly like me will be trying to murder me. And on top of that, I’ll be discovered on the subway and asked to be in a Broadway show, and of course I’ll have an affair with the director who is really just the German rock star in disguise trying to win me back. Together we will scout out all the homeless people in New York and encourage them to get jobs by patting them on the shoulder.

But I digress. I have brought some Caitlin books with me on the plane because I totally forgot about that series, although I’ll have to hide them inside an issue of The New Yorker or something. So hopefully I’ll be able to post something. If not, please hang in there! I’ll be back.

Speaking of, it’s upsetting to me that a lot of other YA blogs have fallen off the radar. I know keeping up with blogging is hard, which probably means other these bloggers have more of a life than me. What happened to the Lurlene McDaniel death book recaps? Also, I miss Tales of a Former Walking Highlighter and I was excited about Jesus Beezus.  If you are reading this, come back! Then again, if you have something going on in your life that involves real live humans to talk to, go with that. Another recap blog that I hope continues is Tanner Twister, which is hilarious in its hatred of Michelle Tanner. I hope it keeps up.

Also, starting January 4, I’ll be recapping The Bachelor for film.com. Be on the lookout. You can read my recaps of The Hills here.

Finally, you may want to check out Snark by David Denby. Looks awesome.

Great find!

Donna sent me this pic of an album cover for the Australian band TISM.

Look familiar? Donna says”The tag line reads “Will Greg destroy Melissa and Jason’s happiness?” Unfortunately the lyrics do not parody SVH (the song is about speeding) but I really really wish I had a picture of the back of the cover of the single because I remember that it read like a blurb to any SVH book and concluded with “and does anyone really give a shit?” which pretty much sums up our feelings now towards SVH.”

I also love the name of the album. Kind of in the same way I love the band name “Hey that’s my bike!”.

Is there a real-life Wakefield?

I love when you all give me ideas for posts! There was some spec that there is an actress/model out there that may have been the model for the early, wispy-banged twins. Who are out front runners?

The popular gal from Teen Wolf, which is my pick. Maybe because she has the hair and the Donald Trump bangs, but she also has the rounded face and a dimple.

Next up, Haviland Morris of Sixteen Candles fame. Also has the hair, and the Jessica attitude.

And this may be a stretch, but Betty Childs from Revenge of the Nerds (um, how good is that movie?) but because she plays a stuck-up blond cheerleader.

I think it’s univerally agreed upon that the Daniel twins are quite annoying and don’t really fit the image, but my vote if they are still running it now are the contact lens commercial twins, otherwise known as the emotional twins on the model reality show 8th and Ocean. Did anyone ever watch that but me?

Next up on my random list: Tiny pants, on her blog, reminded me of a movie that I thought only existed in my subconcious- Private School. You all know my obsession with private schools, so I of course loved it when I saw it late night when I was a child. Of course, watching it now, I was embarassed for everyone involved. Excet for the dreamy Matthew Modine (Vision Quest, anyone?) Also, lots of boobs and horribly timed rape jokes. Jordan, the character I worshipped, was obsessed with guys taking pictures of her naked and showing her breasts to anyone with eyes. After that, everytime I played Barbies, I named my character Jordan in homage to the character. Ah, role models.

Finally, after an ebay search for a specific book, I found this! There were actual dolls! Was someone ever going to tell me?

Now, call me crazy, but aren’t those outfits the ones they wear to the jungle prom (where Sam gets killed) or Lila’s Christmas party (where Margo tries to murder them). So why not make it into a fashion doll?

Hold on, don’t go all Margo on me.

No internet in my new place = lack of updates. Later this week I should be all set. To make it up to you, I am currently reading Return of the Evil Twin. Oh, that Margo.

I also have the ultimate lost & found.

Does anyone remember some sort of mail order “Especially for Girls” book club? Maybe they advertised on tv, I am not sure. The books came imprinted with the logo, and #20 Crash Landing was one of the books in the set, and it came in hardcover. Anyone with me here? There was also a book called “Dreamboy” or something about a girl who starts going out with a guy who is mysterious and then ends up breaking up with him at the end…for no apparent reason. The cover was a photo of the guy and the girl as if they were posing for the picture. Anyone? Anyone?

Best YA boyfriends, part 2

5. Almanzo Wilder: yea yea, calling Little House books YA may be a stretch, but I had to put in my Manly love.

Who would play him:

Dean Butler, duh!

4. Dead Peter from Christopher Pike’s Remember Me. He totally can ghost-spy on me in the shower any day. Shari wouldn’t have made in the afterlife without his help. Although he did dork out on her sometimes. And it’s good she got the support, after her boyfriend Dan did it with Big Beth in the jacuzzi at her birthday party.

Celeb who would play him:

Josh Radnor: I don’t like HIMYM, but I want to make out with him.

3. Adam from The Secret Circle Series. Two of the qualities in a guy that for me is an automatic drop of the panties: aloof and has supernatural powers. Same reason I totally want to have a brothel that includes Max and Michael from Roswell and some of the X-Men. That’s a fanfic for another time. I don’t remember too much about this series, haven’t read it in a while, but there was lots of drahma. He was attached the sassy long-haired coven leader, but new girl in town Cassie totally nabbed him.

Celeb who would play him:

Garret Hedlund.  Don’t know why, I just think this guy is hawt.

2. Joe from The Jellyfish Season: sure, he dated a fourteen year old when he was twenty, but he didn’t know! He treated her well and even gave self-esteem to Kathleen and treated her cousins nicely. Plus, there was mention of his hairy legs more than once. That sold me!

Who would play him:

Z-Quint, father of my children

1. Billy Sampson; Sunset Island. Swoonsville! He’s the lead singer of a band, check! He goes for the “curvy”, brainy brunette, check! He’s actually smart and into photography, check! He has his own house on the beach, check! He’s super smokin’, check! It was half cheeseball, half kind of sweet when he pops Carrie’s cherry later in the series. And when Carrie would get all hysterical and self-doubting he’d be all, pull your shit together. I’m going to ignore the fact that half his lyrics seem to be written by Michael Bolton.

Who would play him:

Sebastian Bach, circa 1990.

Coming soon: the most ANNOYING YA boys.  You know I saved that second because I will enjoy it more.