About

My goal is to reread the entire series to relive my tween years, and also to get really angry at how SVH gave me a false and misguided view of high school life. And life in general. In fact, I blame all my insecurities, problems and worries on these books.

Right now I am focusing on the Sweet Valley High series only, because these were the ones I read most as a child. Reading the Twins, Jr. High, Senior Year and University opens a whole can of worms that I am not ready for.

Rereading these books have made me nostalgic for other books and series from my childhood, so lately I have been including reviews/summaries. The Baby-Sitters Club was HUGE for me, but there are so many other great blogs out there that recap these, so I couldn’t do it justice.

This site is intended for entertainment. Please don’t take anything personally or seriously.

Comments are appreciated.

 

Where else can you find me?

On twitter @robinhardwick

On tumblr The Evil Twin

Website: http://bit.ly/robinhardwick 

Email: robin@robinhardwick.com

On Facebook: Facebook.com/byRobinHardwick


113 thoughts on “About

  1. Sarah says:

    I love this site; you crack me up. There are 200+ SV books in my parents attic; now I might have to have them shipped to me. I had an awful day today and this is totally cheering me up. Keep it going!

  2. Shannon says:

    Heh! I just found this site, and you took the words out of my mouth about this series.

    I’m almost tempted to start checking them out of the library and giving them a re-read for old times sake.

  3. Kate says:

    This site is just tooo good to be true! Am feeling quite jealous now, and via ebay am going to try to get hold of some SVH’s to re-live my youth!

    Keep on with the good work, and read #100 “The Evil Twin” as soon as you can if possible- it used to be one of my favourites, and I’ll be interested to hear your views..! x

  4. Abby says:

    Can you please write an entry for “Starring Jessica.” The books got tedious with all the stories about secondary characters who only make appearances in the last two pages of the previous books and then find them the focus of the next one. But “Starring Jessica” reminded me how mindlessly fun the SVH books were!

  5. Jo says:

    This is a great blog! I can’t believe this is the kind of crap I read as a kid.

    My favorite SVH book, and one I’d love to see you recap, is one of the special editions. I believe it’s called “Double Jeopardy.” Jessica witnesses a murder (rather, she witnesses someone putting a body in a trunk) and the victim turns out to be the girlfriend of one of their brother’s friends, who happens to be staying at the house and happens to get arrested for the murder. It was what passed for suspenseful reading when I was 12. Anyway, it’s a good one.

  6. grace says:

    The Sweet Valley Sagas! YESSS! I read these over and over again. I also read Jessica and Elizabeth’s secret diaries. They might make a good review, because they’re all about how each twin likes to cheat on her current boyfriend.

  7. caro says:

    this is just a great website! Please do keep it up! Do the superstar series ones, too. The one called Lila’s story, where her dad almost marries a gold digger is a classic.

  8. Deathy says:

    I love this site. I feel your pain. My entire lack of perception of high school and adulthood was fed by these books and Melrose Place. Can’t wait to read more. ^_^

  9. theiLocanoblogger says:

    i used to rea SVH book when i was in hioghschool; i used to have maybe 40 books. but then my classmates they kept borrowing until I already had no book left for me. and until now i’m still in the search for those old mates.
    ^_^

  10. EnidRollins says:

    I am eating a huge sandwich and a soda and reading this. I just hope I don’t end up like Robin Wilson or Lois Waller! *die*! I thought the shallow thing about the ‘fat issue’ books was that the message was that fat is bad because it makes you ugly. It said nothing about the health issues or anything. Just that its ‘UGLY’.

  11. Kate says:

    Um, this is the most amazing blog project I have ever come across. You are hilarious. I had forgotten about this series until someone briefly mentioned it, so I googled it and found you. Those books WERE shit and I’m glad someone has come forward to call them out on it. Thanks for amusing me.

  12. Ramona says:

    this site is awesome! I read just about every SVH and SVU book when I was in second, third, and fourth grade, and looking back on it, I can’t believe how ridiculous the books are. They really do ruin lives!

  13. Abby says:

    I just found this site today…I really like it. Sadly, I read about every book up until 1997, including Sweet Valley High, Sweet Valley Kids, Sweet Valley Twins, and Sweet Valley University. No matter how ridiculous I found every book, I just couldn’t help reading them. I am so glad someone has made a website devoted to mocking them. I will be checking in every day…I am looking forward to the Pom Pom Wars.

    If you need any suggestions, I am dying to read your review of SVU #12, I forget the name but it’s the one where Elizabeth inherits money from that crazy stalker she killed, and uses the money to take the Scooby gang on a cruise. Anyway, she takes care of all the travel arrangements and despite the fact she invites mostly couples that are all over 18 and in college, she only puts girls with girls and boys with boys. And I’m pretty sure that out of all the characters in the series, only Steven and Jessica ever had sex with their partners.

  14. Lisa says:

    PLEASE do SVH Senior Year. I go through phases of reading the series, I just love its cheesy-ness. I’ve been on ebay all morning, looking for all the books that I am missing…

  15. Lily says:

    What an awesome idea for a blog! It’s so entertaining. Thanks for making my day. I laughed out loud (literally) at least half a dozen times.

    The SVH books frakked me up, too LOL
    I still remember thinking if I ran around the track at school every morning, I would lose weight and become acceptable.

    My dad had to read one of the books to make sure they were OK for me to read! Embarrassing.

    But, I do have to say Regina dying from cocaine did scare me away from hard drugs. Seriously.

    Oh, man. What a trip down Memory Lane. Btw, would Liz and Jessica be considered “fat” today with their size-six figures? *shakes head*

  16. Mya says:

    For some unknown reason I was searching Baby-Sitter Club Books today (to check all the ones I missed after I realized I was 16 and still reading them in 1993), then searched Fabulous Five, then Girl Talk Books, and now Sleepover Friends. I ran across your blog in my quest for Sleepover Friends knowledge and I am so glad I did.

    Thank you for the memories-I loved all the series you have listed.

    Wasn’t there one where Elizabeth was in an accident or something and started hitting on Jessi’s boyfriend-or something scandolous.

    Besides being a perfect size 6 (in today’s world-they would have to be a size 0 with double d’s) didn’t they have the coolest car-an red Fiat (sp) convertable?

  17. Morgan says:

    Oh my goodness…this is probably the single greatest blog ever (ok, apart from Jezebel.com). I just started working at a publishing house which I love but it’s making me all sorts of nostalgic, particularly for The Babysitter’s Club. So I googled and found this site and am practically crying with laughter. Even the Sunset Beach series!!!! This is amazing. I’m working on a YA novel and reaing your recaps reminds me of what I should and should not include. Well done!

  18. greenergrassier says:

    This is the best blog ever!!! I don’t even remember how I got here…oh yeah, I googled RL Stine and got to Fear Street series and then thought, “Taffy Sinclair!” and then came to your blog! I am so going to read along with you!!! This is the best!!!

  19. StarryEyed says:

    Loving this blog! I read the sagas just recently. You must review these, I don’t want to spoil anytihng, but they are so tragic and lol funny.

  20. Jo says:

    “But, I do have to say Regina dying from cocaine did scare me away from hard drugs. Seriously.”

    Seriously. That one turned me away from cocaine, just like “Punky Brewster” turned me away from playing hide-and-seek inside old refrigerators.

    Ah, childhood.

  21. Onnie says:

    If you were to ever read the first couple SVU, you would tear them to shreds…they are pretty awful. I have to dig them out of the boxes in the basement to find for myself now…

  22. danae1 says:

    Loving this blog! I came across it after reading about it in the Seattle PI and I spent the past two days reading over all your posts. Please keep it up. I forgot just how shitty I felt for rocking the brunette Jew fro when I was a youngster just because you’ve GOT to be tall, thin, tanned, blonde, and blue-green eyed to be loved and accepted! Yay!

  23. Brigid says:

    f*@#!ng hilarity.

    I had forgotton how normalized sociopathy was in these books. The whole crew was awful, manipulative, spoiled brats! Also, it never occured to me that my fucked up body image and ridiculous notions of needing a boyfriend which took most of my 20s to get over, were largely encouraged by this tripe. I just ATE IT UP. Groan.

    Aside: I am a twin and it was really really fun *snark* for folks to call us Jess and Liz (I got to be Liz because I was the more bookish).

  24. Mia says:

    I found this blog via feministing. Damn you! I’m now reading your SVH archives, and I’m supposed to be on a deadline. God, Jessica was such a cow and Liz was such a bore. I liked Amy Sutton best, in between SVT and SVH she somehow got a life and seemed vaguely interesting. As interesting as it gets in Sweet Valley, anyway.

    Here’s hoping you get to Sweet Valley Twins. There’s far too much to go on there. Do you remember the cover on the book where ‘fatso’ Lois Waller does some bike race? SHE IS STICK THIN ON IT. And she only gets acceptable (except for with Liz, for whom she’s a moral charity case) once she thins down a bit. Then she’s barely tolerated for the rest of the series. Oh and Sophia Rizzo, who is poor and Italian! Or maybe she’s poor because she’s Italian. I can’t remember. But she hasn’t got a father, which obv is SV suicide. And Liz goes round there and patronisingly admires all the rustic Italian cushions or something.

    Oh lord… I’ll shut up now. I’m sending this blog to everyone I know. 😀 Thanks a bunch for it.

  25. 1979semifinalist says:

    Your blog is the greatest blog I have ever read…no exaggeration…well okay, maybe a little.

    I read the SVH books, apparently to my detriment, just like everyone else. I had pretty much forgotten about them, but your blog just brought the memories flooding back, and a surprising amount of anger, but kind of ridiculous anger. I appreciate your ability to find the ridiculous humor, and not just the rage that this kind of stuff was (is?) fed to vulnerable minds. It is shocking we survived them…although I AM in therapy…perhaps a topic for next week on the couch? Hmmm.

    Don’t you find it ridiculous that issues like “All Night Long” were either looked at with suspicion, or out and out withheld from us by parents because of what might be within, yet all of these other horrible issues filled with terrible terrible lessons, especially for young girls, nobody batted an eye at? I like to think if my mother had read an issue she would have never let me read them…of course I would have thrown a tantrum the likes of which are rarely witnessed by the human eye and would probably have read them in secret anyway, but it would have been nice if someone tried to stop the insanity.

    I also remember just one day realizing how ridiculous they were. Like on a Tuesday I thought Elizabeth and Jessica and SVH were the best things on earth and Thursday I suddenly felt as if my eyes had been opened for the first time. And I also felt like an idiot.

    By the way, here’s the line you “got” me with: “My main motivation for reading this one: What is the motivation for Cara to wear that sailor suit”

    I was still chuckling about that in bed hours later. Excellent work, please keep it up and I’ll keep coming back. I’m also going to link to this excellent blog on mine (not that any of my measly traffic will up yours, but you’re just very link worthy!)

    Best to you~
    Kelly
    http://www.1979semifinalist.wordpress.com

  26. Amy says:

    I love this site. Laughing out loud for first time in months. I am only surprised there is no talk of lavalieres and Elizabeth’s distinguishing birthmark?

  27. Alonia says:

    So I just stumbled across this blog by way of http://claudiasroom.blogspot.com/ someone posted a link to you in the comments there. I’ve spent the past few days reading all of your archives and laughing my ass off.

    My favorite line would have to be when Jessica is wondering what dateless people do on a Saturday night and you mention Battlestar Galactica. Totally made my day and I’m still giggling about it now.

  28. christine says:

    Your page is great.

    i was never misguided by Elizabeth and Jessica Wakefield and their spanish style ranch house, rich friends and middle class surburban trifles because there was no one like me in those books, except Lisa- the lone black girl at the peripheral. Still, i spent every dime i would get on them.

    Enid sucked.

  29. Kelly says:

    Could you please do A Christmas Without Elizabeth? I think that’s what it’s called. It’s when the twins are in middle school and it’s very It’s A Wonderful Life because they show Liz what would happen if she didn’t exist or whatever. Soooo ridiculous, totally St. Elizabeth saves everyone, everywhere. But I LOVED it – probably my favorite SV book EVER.

  30. Marissa says:

    Seriously, thank you for writing these blogs. I am 25 and read SVH even up through high school (though I kept that to myself.) I loved them and still do. I came across this site while searching for old SVH books. I found someone who had the entire collection (181 books, including all the magna, supers, thrillers, diaries, etc!) and yes I bought them.
    Thank you for hating Enid as much as the rest of us do.
    Your blogs are hilarious.

  31. j says:

    Thanks for doing these. They are so funny; they remind me of Television Without Pity. Except it’s stuff from my childhood.
    Also, you keep talking about how Jessica is horrible and how every book talks about how fat people are bad, which I didn’t remember…so I looked up the books online and realized that I didn’t start reading until book…128, I think? Whatever started the trilogy about the twins being models because they’re, as you say, “soooooo gorgeous.” Maybe by that time “Francine Pascal” had realized that people didn’t want to hear about how the only thing that matters in life is being thin and blonde. Then again, I was eight, so maybe I just don’t remember them that well…

  32. Nicole says:

    WOW! You are so funny. What a great way to spend my day off from work (sick). Keep em coming. I personally read about 100 Sweet Valley Twins books and stopped SVH at about 105. I practically drove my mom broke reading these books, but it kept me out of trouble.

  33. Tanya says:

    You are HILARIOUS! I spent an entire night reading all of your SVH entries. I’m so looking forward to the next one. You’ve even inspired me to pull out some of my old SV books, ha!

    You might be pleased (shocked/puzzled/dismayed?) to learn that there’s a new SV series in the works called Sweet Valley Confidential, wherein our favorite teens are now thirtysomethings living in a gated community. Melrose Place, anyone?

  34. Magpie says:

    I just found this blog through a link on the SVH Forum, and it’s absolutely hilarious! These are exactly the kind of cynical thoughts I have while reading these books… and yet still I love them dearly. Thanks so much for writing these- I will definitely be coming back regularly to read your updates!

    Incidentally, I don’t think SVH warped me, it was more like I lived vicariously through their glamorous, perfect lives 😉

  35. RexyWakefield says:

    this site is fantastic! I love SVH and HATE SVH and in my later years have grown to love hating them.
    When I was younger, I was so afraid of entering high school because I thought that I might encounter some Jessica-style bitch that would waltz into my life, turn everyone against me, and steal my love interest. This books are preposterous.

  36. Stasia says:

    omg you could seriously be me!
    I’m selectively rereading my SVH collection, while trying to fill in the ones I’m missing from eBay.

  37. Gerry says:

    You guys have to read the Elizabeth Series….believe me, Elizabeth Wakefield is OFF da Hook in this series. Plus it’s good to see Elizabeth by herself without Jessica. Sometimes both of them get on my nerves for various reasons. However, they are cool! By the way have any of you read the Sweet Valley Junior High Series? This is more realistic than Sweet Valley Middle School series. By the way I always though Nora Roberts was so cool and wicked to boot!!!!!!

  38. Gerry says:

    SVH is like 90210 and Save by the Bell…..horrible. Now to tell you guys the truth, I learned a lot by watching Degrassi Junior High and Degrassi High on PBS. And I am not ashamed to say that I watch Degrassi: The next generation, since some of the characters from the original (my age in fact) are on the series as well. I even have my nieces and nephews watching Degrassi (that have the old shows from day and the new one on the N channel here in the US).

  39. Alyssa says:

    Wow! You are hilarious! I was actually surfing Google for Sweet Valley High when I came across your blog. I’ve actually read Sweet Valley Twins & High when until I turned 13 and then I stopped. I’m 23 years old now and having tried to reread those books, I’ve realized how ridiculous and simple they are. That was when things were more simple then…Now, your words just crack me up!!

  40. hastyteenflick says:

    was directed to your totes awesome blog by a friend when i linked about the svh revamp. i am orgasming over the entries. read til the last page. was swallowed up by the sweet valleyverse at age ten (first book being svt # 4) . at the time i wasn’t allowed to read books for teens and my mom and i had a huge fight about it. glad to see there are many others whose preteen years were consumed by the wakefield twins and turned out alright. love love love your blog. lookin forward to more recaps (especially the cailtlin ones hahaha) !

  41. Cara Walker says:

    I absolutely love this site! I read all of the SVT and SVH books when I was growing up and still like to read one every now and then for a laugh. Even then the inconsistencies and bizarre story lines ticked me off, along with Liz’s skank in goody-goody disguise attitude. I don’t know how many times Liz cheated on Todd! That skank!

    Anyway, you’ve got me hooked!

  42. Miss Rain says:

    I’m so happy that i’m not the only one who still enjoys reading those books, even if it is only for faint bemusement at the sheer FLUFF. I feel less wierd for keeping my copies for so long =]

  43. Cara Walker says:

    Just a suggestion – I was thinking it would be great if you could include a section dedicated to the fugly outfits found throughout the YA novels (especially 80s SVH and BSC). This is one of the most fun aspects of this site (it’s especially fun remembering how cool we thought the outfits were at the time!) 🙂

  44. Sydney says:

    I recently stumbled across your site while searching for books from my childhood. I do believe I’ve struck gold here. I, too, read SVH, SVTwins, BSC, Stepsisters. One series I loved was “Mirrors…” about (I believe) a small town girl who goes to NYC to live with her aunt, who owns one of the coolest department stores called “Mirrors.” There were only 5 of them, but I adored them. Thanks for the site… can’t wait to keep reading.

  45. Daniella Fromage says:

    I totally love your blog! Oh God – it takes me back when i was in my sixth grade! I first read Sweet Dreams, and then my BFF lent me a copy of SVH, I think it was the triple collection series with Liz and Todd on the cover. And then, and then…! Until now I’m still on rehab for getting off those books. *shivers* Give my Double Love back!!! I need those!!! *shivers*

  46. Jessica says:

    I love this site! I’ve been jonesing for a SV fix but none of my local used bookstores ever have copies:( Luckily I found you and I have been in heaven ever since. My first SVH was #6-Dangerous Love in 3rd grade(1992-93) and from that moment one I was hooked! I bought every single book I could find and began to branch out to SVT and even SVK. By 8th grade I was reading SVU and SVH simultaneously(how’s that for a screwy timeline?). As soon as SVSY was available I snapped those up…and then it was over. For the majority of my life(I must have been about 17 at this time) has been spent with these characters. At times I despised them, others I envied them. But I kept coming back for more so obviuosly something was working! Again, thank you for the site-I plan to waste many a work hour on here!

  47. Allison says:

    This is my favorite site! It really brings back fond memories or my childhood and those awkward teen years.

    I am such a nerd.

  48. Cheapnevil says:

    JUST found your site. Where have you been all my innernet life?

    I can’t read this site at work anymore after laughing too loudly.

    I can actually remember that feeling I got when seeing a new SVH book in the B. Dalton. And how horrible I felt about myself because I have dark hair and eyes. Oh, and didn’t know what the hell a Fiat was.

    Thanks for doing this. You’re fantastic.

  49. Rivka says:

    This is a cool website. Every time I need to do a book report and I forgot the name of the arthor I just go to the website. It is even good when I want to read a book so I look at the books on this website and if there is a good book I go to the library and take the book out and read it.

  50. R says:

    Thank you, thank you, thank you!

    I discovered this blog through this post at Mefi, and have been reading this in work, making a lot of very undignified spnorfling noises. The battle against disbelieving laughter is being lost.

    Oh, the spectacularly schlocky crap that was SVH and oh, the memories of the cult-like regard in which these were held when I was a kidlet!

  51. Jaci says:

    I have to share my SVH story: I read these things from age 11 to 13. My friends and I would fight over the books at the library and I loved them. I wanted to be like the perfect size 6 twins (not like that fatty, size 7 Nancy Drew) and imagined high school would be AWESOME, just like SVH!

    I still remember the summer before my freshman year, when I went from a perfect size 6 to a size 10. I sat in the dressing room and BALLED. I knew I would never be popular. High school was going to suck. Popular girls were thin and pretty, not chubby. Oh, God, I was going to be ENID!

    Needless to say, high school did suck, and I moved on to better books than SVH. I’m 28 now, and last year I found a group of SVH books on Ebay and bought them, remembering how obsessed I was and how I never did read them all. I read the first book and thought, “Holy shit! How did this ever get published?” You might as well write ‘How to have low self-esteem and an optional eating disorder’ right on the cover. Francine Pascal is an evil, nasty witch. How many girls did she screw up with these books? Gah!

    I must say, I love your web site, and I read through most of your SVH book reviews and laughed so much I made myself a little bit queasy. This site is better than therapy.

  52. "perfect size 4" Ha!! says:

    I too just found this blog and i’m IN LOVE!! haha… i read the books when i was younger and the series actually got me to read! I hated reading when i was younger, but someone introduced me to the SVH series. From there i also read SVU and Twins&Friends. When i found out i was PG (over a year ago) i made my husband drive to my parents house and collect ALL of my SV series books. I bought a book shelf for them all (sad but true…i own ALL SVH books and ALL SVU books…and ALL SY) and i have random Twins & friends…
    well then i found out recently (baby girl is now 6months old) that somewhere along the line there was a SV Kids too! Now i decided that i must collect ALL of the kids and TWINS/FRriends books… and hopefully my baby (when she is obviously older) will love to read the series too!
    Yah.. i’m a loser! haha
    I’ve been addicted to buying the books off Ebay because i can NEVER find them in the used books stores and regular book stores say that they are all “out of print”…

    This site is awesomely funny and i cant wait to become addicted!

  53. pinky says:

    Love it!

    This site makes me regret allowing my mother to donate all my old BSC, Sweet Valley and RL Stine books to our local library when I left home. 🙂

  54. Dr. David Klein says:

    Hi!
    I am going to wordcamp on Saturday, and during Wordcamp, I am going to be leading online wordgames on different people’s blogs.
    They will be silly, fun, low tech games using wordpress blogs.
    Would you like to host a game on your blog?
    Each game takes 15 minutes, and you would need to be able to post the game, and keep track of comments that 15 minutes while you are at wordcamp.
    Go to http://www.bodyabcs.com/bwp/word-games/ to read more about it.

    Much Love,
    dk

  55. Mel says:

    I’ve been lurking about a week now and felt it was time to finally leave something.

    I am so glad to find out I’m not the only 30 year old reliving the tween years by rereading SVH, Fear Street, and Christopher Pike!!

    My story is pretty similar to everyone else’s – I remember spending all my babysitting money at BDalton’s on either SVH, Fear Street, Christopher Pike, or Nancy Drew Files. (and the occasional BSC, but the others were more exciting and mature!) My parents brought my collection up this summer, and I had no intent on doing anything with them until I heard that SVH were being re-released. I got nostalgic and started busting them out, one or two at a time. Now my basement has the whole series out on a bookshelf, and I’m picking up ones I’m missing off Ebay.

    Just a thought – considering many of us are probably unknowingly getting in bidding wars over these, it would be nice if there was some sort of way to swap copies. I don’t know about everyone else, but I know I’ve ended up with lots of dups I don’t need. I could sell them on Ebay, or I’d be happy to swap with someone.

  56. BartTempleton says:

    Welcome, Mel. You’re in good company here.

    Interestingly, it seems all of us here who in the ’80s devoured the decidedly, erm, “lightweight” YA fare grew up to be literate professionals. We have loads of librarians and teachers on this site, as well as a few lawyers.

    And, many of us offer valuable analyses about gender/race issues…despite having been nursed on the mother’s milk of “perfect size six,” victim-blaming date rape (coughJohnPfeifercough), and mono-ethnic WASPiness that is SVH.

    I’m game for trade-offs, but I only have my recent eBay purchases to draw from; my almost-complete SVH collection is back home with the parents.

    How do you wanna work it?

  57. Mel says:

    Thanks Bart!

    That is interesting – I can ad to the mix, as an advertising professional. I remember back in the day overhearing my dad question my mom on “those” books I couldn’t get enough of, and what exactly were they about. My mom replied, “Oh, just stuff like girls going on dates and getting their periods”. At the time I was so insulted, because to me they were so much more then that! Now as I reread them I realize my mom wasn’t that far off. 🙂

    Maybe we can swap a list of potential trade books via email??

  58. Liz says:

    Oh man. I am so glad I stumbled upon this blog. I was totally obsessed with those books as a child…my mother has told me repeatedly how ANNOYING I was, rambling on about the adventures of Jessica and Elizabeth until she wanted to SCREAM. Hooray! I kept all of my SVH books, of course–at my parent’s house. Heh.

  59. Katelovespie says:

    This is seriously hilarious. Francine really does hate fat people! Loved these books as a kid and im trying to collect them all again.

  60. Stay, see? says:

    Awesome site! Too bad it’s so early in the AM, now I have to stay home all day and read it. SVH was huge for me in elementary school, and HS was unbearable. I never thought these points were related… until now.

  61. Mindy says:

    what a great idea for a site! I stumbled onto this site by accident but glad that I did! I read the kids, teens, jr high, high, university books and I absolutely loved them growing up. And recently, I’ve been finding myself rereading my svh books. I’m actually trying to recollect them now. haha and yes, I feel like a total nerd doing it.

  62. dizzy lizzy says:

    i just found this website and cracked up for two hours!!! thanks so much for a hilarious time!! my sisters and i used to call svh the “toilet books”, basically they were the kind of books to read on the seat or in your bath 🙂 i started reading the svk books when i was 6, yup it all started with surprise surprise and i basically grew up with the twins -but at a normal pace lol-. I so agree that these books f***ed up my life, praising anorexic prude perfect lives… and reading about how i wasn’t the only nerdy and desperate teen made me feel great! so thanks again!

  63. Margo says:

    I LOVE you!!!!!

    I started re-reading some of my old SV’s… BIG for Christmas and The Magic Christmas are so WEIRD!!!
    Baby-Sitter’s Club was big in my life, too! From 3rd grade to…I dunno, but I have like 100 books or something.
    KUDOS for the best and worst YA boyfriends and who would play them!!! (Especially since you put some L.J. Smith in there!! She’s got a new website….www.ljanesmith.net!)
    I love how you hate Twilight. I love to hate it, too!
    Thanks for all you do… you bring much joy to my days!!

  64. Lucy says:

    OMG this blog is AWESOME! I used to love these books, I couldn’t read them fast enough! I had hundreds of SVH and Sweet Dreams and totally loved the Caitlin series. Does anyone remember a short series of books about a group of kids in high school? They wrote one for each year of high school and followed the same group. I think there were only two series and I think the name was the year they graduated. The first series had Meg McCall, Nick, Sean, Ally and the poor girl who was super cute, I think Nick’s cousin. Senior year she worked in a college coffee shop and dated a college guy who turned into a real douche and tried to get together with her former best friend Ally. And Meg and Nick got together in the end. I LOVED that series and would love to reread if only I could remember the author or titles!!

  65. Elizabeth says:

    I love this site! It’s glamorously written, brilliant! I too, like so many other girls read most of the SVH books. Yes, and embarrassingly I’ve even watched the TV show, though that was short-lived. At the time when reading class was a period at my high school, I found myself hooked on this stereotype world of high-cheek bones, a straight nose, and sexy wavy hair from both sexes to tickle my brain fancy. I discovered your site after I found a box of my SVH books. I read a couple and I….Well, I sorta fell “instantly in love” with them again. *YAWN* Yeah, I know I know. But there were a few books that I haven’t read. After a quick search on line to see what others said about it, I found your site. I never laughed my ass off so hard. Not only did I finally understand why I was total geek in high school over these books, but it actually made me want to read the ones I had like, The Patman’s of SV just to get a good laugh in comparison to what you’ve written. THEY ARE PATHETIC!!! It’s no wonder why I knew and dated so many douchebags. Leave it to Fran P. to depict real winners for girls who dream about these high-cheek boned cuntfuck studs 24/7, and BFFs who repeatedly stab the fuck out of your back while enjoying a Dairie Burger burger. Bravo!

  66. Daniella Fromage says:

    Hi! I love reading your blog, because I also read SVH when I was in elementary. Have you by chance also read the Heart and Diamonds series? I loved that series too.

  67. Angie says:

    I just wanted to tell u how much I love this website!! I read SVH, Sweet Valley Twins, BSC, SVU…. (basically everything u write about) when I was a kid. I recently was on ebay and re-found SVH. I have started to read them again and was thrilled when I came across this website! I was also relieved to find someone else my age re-reading these books! I can’t believe how cheesy they are, but I am addicted! I love reading your comments about the books I have read!! U are hilarious, keep it up!!

  68. ilovesweetvalley says:

    hi, i love sweet valley books.. i miss the days when i would just curl up in bed reading and then chatting with my friends about the books..awwww…seems so long ago, almost 10 years ago…

    i miss my childhood days..and im only 23!!

    • Faisal says:

      Stephanie Posted on Great! Awesome!1st up the wedding china my moehtr gave me 18 years ago, while saying, with a VERY disappointed voice Well since it seems that you aren’t getting married any time soon, I might as well give this to you now. I’ve been carrying them around, thru 3 moves, thinking that I ought to keep them, that I would somehow curse myself or jinx myself if I got rid of them..that I would indeed end up alone.Guess what? Yep, I am still single. I’ve had a couple of relationships between then and now, but the end result? The dishes are not magical and I don’t have to expend any energy trying to make myself feel better about the dishes so that I can keep them.So, I am hereby embracing the real possibility that I may never be married and commit the dishes to craigslist, may they be gone in a wink and trouble me no more LOL!Thank you for the entertaining video about a serious subject.

  69. Alisha says:

    I just love this blog! It really brightened my day. I definitely suggest the SVH sagas also; for some reason, those were always my favorites.

  70. Gale says:

    I understand your goal about SVH, mine is to read every Nancy Drew book. I sometimes feel guilty checking out 6 or 7 of the books at the library as I think of the kids who should be reading them. Then, I try to read them as fast as I can so I turn them in. Thank you for the entertaining blog.

  71. Sorcia McNasty says:

    Holy gracious, grrrl. You have had me laughing myself sick for the last two days. I had to literally take time off reading to FORCE myself to concentrate on, you know, MY LIFE. Your synopses of SVH? Fuuuuucking Hilarious. And I mean, hilarious like Liz Wakefield getting fitted for a diaphragm.
    Thanks for the mirthful stroll down memory lane. If you ever deign to check out other blogs, mine details the perils of being an educated humanist in the South, which is a lot like Sweet Valley (i.e. lots of racist white people) except that no one knows what a spanish tile looks like… http://www.sassafrasjunction.wordpress.com
    Again, bless you, honey. I swear to teacups, if I could just bottle you and keep you in the icebox, I would totally do it. You’re totally getting blogrolled next time I lazily update the damn thing. 🙂

  72. ANna says:

    My new favorite blog! I’m also 29 and was totally addicted to SVH and other non-serial books for teen and tween girls. I devoured them one a day summers at the pool. Am taking a young adult fiction class this Fall when I start grad school, so this website will be totally helpful!

  73. Lorna says:

    I am loving your site! Don’t know why, maybe it’s because the Twilight Saga is so God awful I decided to reread some of my teen books to relive the “greatness” as well. So I just brought home from my parent’s house a few hundred craptastic books (including some horrifyingly awful early 80’s Wildfire romance novels, one even has a preteen Lori Laughlin of Full House and 90210 fame on the cover in a butt ugly swimsuit) to dig into over the summer. SVH came out for me in the 80’s when I was in high school and I read them until I was in my 20’s and married! I blame the unrealstic nature of SVH for giving me the idiotic idea of getting married and 19 by the way… THAT didn’t work out. I have the first 85 and some of the special editions. I’m 40 now and I don’t know why I still like crappy books and tv. I guess not having children has kept me in touch with my inner teen goober. Keep up the good work.

  74. Stacy says:

    I also live in the Bay Area and work in education. I don’t have same-sex preferences generally, but I think I might be in love with you. Will you marry me?

  75. AnnaBanana says:

    Wow, I guess I’m the youngest on here (I’m 19)…A family friend gave me a bunch of her SVT/SVH when she went off to college. I read them, but being 10, I related more to the Twins…I started reading SVH when I was about 12 or 13, and my mom was all like, “Tell me if there’s sex in them.” I said, all snarkily, “They only kiss…” secretly hoping that one day, I’d stumble upon a sex scene and scar myself for life. I didn’t. What did scar me for most of my life was the fact that I was 5’3″, a size 9 and had long brown hair, green eyes and god awful glasses and braces. I was about 15 when I stopped reading them and got into modern stuff like Meg Cabot. I finally stopped caring about blue-green eyes and sunstreaked blonde hair and having a willowy, athletic figure (anyone else remember that description?).

  76. heroine_tv says:

    I just discovered your blog due to the buzz on Twitter about the upcoming ‘Sweet Valley High’ film adaptation, and I am amazed. I had no idea that there was a continuing (and snarky) fandom of the books. Since my family and friends always looked down on my SVH reading, I was shamed into hiding. I was totally obsessed with these books during my childhood years and have boxes and boxes of them in my parents garage somewhere, like many of the other commentators. I now want to reclaim them and do a re-read too.

    Like all the other comments have stated, this is a fabulous blog. By some crazy mixed up happenstance, it looks very similar to mine (theme and coloring). We can blame ‘Sweet Valley’ for that too 😉 I now wonder how instrumental these books were in skewing my perspective of all things. At least I’m not alone, as there seems to be numerous 20-something academics who read this site. I found some other SVH sites too, and again, I have to stress, I am amazed (in an awesome way).

    P.S. The fact that you post as Lila Fowler on Twitter only endears this site to me more–I loved Lila, and she is probably the basis of my love for characters such as Cordelia Chase (Buffy) and Blair Waldorf (Gossip Girl).

  77. mendie says:

    i just want to say that I absolutely love your site! And in honor of what a fraktastic site you have I would like to present you with the Zombie Chicken Award. And I have added you to my blogroll. Keep up the good work.

  78. Beth says:

    How could you DO this to me??? Just when I thought I had finished reading all the recaps on 1bruce1 and could get back to business at hand (such as my life), I discover the Dairi Burger. Good-bye job, good-bye graduate school, good-bye love interests or any such diversion out THERE. Hello, size six and pimple free Sweet Valley.

    That being said, I can’t believe all these awesome sites like yours that are devoted to Sweet Valley. Somehow, I thought I was the only one. And to think, it all started with a drunken Google at 1 a.m. for “Jessica Wakefield” six months ago. Who knew?

  79. Karla Keffer says:

    I found this site two days ago and cannot stop reading or commenting. Holy hairy hells, ihatewheat, I may never have to see a shrink again! You just threw a whole bunch of long-buried nonsense about high school into neon relief. Thanks!

    Because I am something of a masochist, I am going to have to start an SVU recap blog. Will share link when it goes live.

  80. Whallie says:

    Hey there,

    I’ve been following your posts for some time and I love them. I really like it when you recap the SVH books. I read #’s 135. Lila’s New Flame, 136. Too Hot to Handle, and 137. Fight Fire with Fire. These three go together. They are really good because they revolve Lila and Steven as the main characters, but the best part this is that they both treat Jess and Liz the way we’ve always wanted someone to when they stick their nose in other people’s business. If you want to borrow them, I would gladly mail them to you just so that you can recap it for us all. Cheers!

  81. Samantha says:

    Wow, I love your blog SO MUCH. I spent way too many hours obsessively reading these books as a tween, and I too feel that they seriously wonked with my psyche. Your reviews crack me up, making me laugh out loud when I’m all by myself. Thank you for doing this- seriously! I spent(wasted) an entire saturday reading your posts and laughing my ass off. Love it, love it.

  82. Erin says:

    I’m 25, and my sister and I read Sweet Valley (all of them- kids, twins, high school, anything they came out with) when we were younger. I discovered this site and it’s hilarious! I recently came across some old books when I was at my parents’ house and realized how ridiculous the story lines are. This blog has been the source for hours of entertainment- please keep it up!

  83. Laura says:

    Heh. I somehow KNEW you were from the Bay Area. We grow the finest crop of smartasses.

    Hi from across the water! Keep writing; keep bein’ hilarious.

  84. Allen Anderson says:

    Hi,

    I visited thedairiburger.com through Google and it took the site a very long time to load.

    At first I thought it was a problem with my browser, but after checking the site using Speed-on-Net’s website speed analyzer, I noticed the reported load time was extremely slow.

    You should check and fix these issues. Have a look:

    http://www.speed-on-net.com/?thedairiburger.com

    Thanks,

    Allen

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