Awesome or awful

Thanks you guys for giving the heads up about Diablo Cody obtaining the rights to Sweet Valley High. I was going to get my panties all in a twist because Diablo Cody is severely overrated, but:

  • obtaining the rights to something doesn’t mean shit. The rights to Watchmen were obtained 15 years ago. The new Superman movie was in development for ten. There was even some talk about there being a Broadway show based on SVH, but that never happened. I’ll believe it when I see it.
  • How would any studio even pick this up? We already have Mean Girls, Gossip Girl, and all that other stuff. Another story about privileged teens doesn’t seem like it would sell. Hey, unless you add some vampires to it!
  • The one way this could be totally awesome is if it was filmed in insane camp style like The Brady Bunch movies which totally makes fun of the original source. But I don’t see that happening.
  • You already know my casting advice. Malin Ackerman as the twins, Sasha Grey as Lila, Chris Carmack as Bruce.
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33 thoughts on “Awesome or awful

  1. tinypantswood says:

    I’ll second the Brady Bunch-style idea, though wonder if these are well known among a broad enough audience for it to work. While I’m at it, let me second the Diablo Cody is so overrated thing — her meme-a-minute teenspeak would sound even more wrong coming from the Wakefields.

  2. jms says:

    Waaaaaitttt a second. If anyone should have the rights to SVH, it should be ME. I’ve been reading this shiz since 1986. I long ago accepted that I cannot stop and will not stop. I like Diablo, LOVE Juno, but the idea of a movie bugs me… especially if said movie were set in the present day. Shudder.

  3. Magpie says:

    I’m so relieved to see other people saying that Diablo Cody is overrated. I enjoyed Juno, but then it was suddenly winning all these awards and everyone was raving about it, and I wondered if I’d missed something. Now I know there’s nothing wrong with me.

    I’m kind of torn between my inner 10-year-old going, “YAY SVH!” and seriously doubting that this could work as a film. Surely the audience is pretty much going to be restricted to, um, people who read this blog?? Today’s teens would take one look and just go back to downloading episodes of Gossip Girl instead.

    • Teen says:

      Hey, I’m a teenager and I love SVH!

      Although I’m pretty much the only one and I’m frequently mocked by my friends for it…

  4. Rio says:

    Oh GOD. Diablo Cody would turn them all into sarcastic indie-rock hipsters and relocate Sweet Valley to the Bay Area. Is THAT awesome or awful?

    Todd: Shawn Pyfrom
    Enid: Ellen Page
    Winston: one of the guys from The Big Bang Theory
    Ken Matthews: Chad Michael Murray
    Olivia Davidson: Jessica Szohr
    Amy Sutton: Nikki Reed
    Suzanne Devlin: Megan Fox
    Jerry “Crunch” McAllister: Jonah Hill
    Steven: Kevin Jonas
    Ned: John Corbett
    Alice: Kate Hudson
    Mr. Collins: Chris Noth
    Ms. Dalton: Audrey Tautou

  5. Janelle says:

    I think that this could be really awesome- if done the right way- I second jms that I need to be involved in this project!! They got the TV show so, so wrong, so I’m scared of a repeat of that- but like I said, if they do it right, it could be really fun!

  6. tinypants says:

    Okay the casting above by Rio is truly inspired. Mr Big as Mr Collins has made my morning. Though I’m thinking more Mischa Barton as Amy Collins — the actress needs to have “flashing gray eyes.” And also seem you know, not that on top of things.

  7. Janelle says:

    haha although the description of Amy does indeed fit Mischa Barton, I sincerely hope that she is nowhere near involved in this project! Fun potential casting thoughts though… I’m going to have to dwell on that a bit longer before making my choices!

  8. maybeimamazed02 says:

    Okay, according to Diablo Cody’s Twitter, the movie WILL be set in the ’80’s. *sigh of relief* And apparently she mentioned the Fiat Spider convertible in every pitch.

    Both of these tidbits give me hope that it will indeed have a Brady Bunch movie feel, and that would definitely rock.

  9. Sarah says:

    Hey, Diablo Cody reads this blog, according to her twitter feed, and is bummed out that you aren’t psyched about the movie!

    Maybe you should Tweet at her and see if she’ll do an interview with you if you promise to be nice to her, hehe. 😉

  10. Neek1981 says:

    Hey, Rio if they do make a movie out of it, I have a gut feeling that your choices are close to home as far as who they’ll cast. I always hated CMM on One Tree Hill, though it was more of an issue with the way they wrote the character and not with CMM. Also, I think CMM and Megan Fox look too mature to play high school, but in Hollywood they almost never find teenagers to play teenagers…Also, I think Kate Hudson looks much too young to have a kid in college, but Alice is always mistaken for the twins’ sister, right? Here’s my dream team:

    Liz/Jess– Amanda Seyfried or Amber Heard
    Steven–Sean Faris (delish!)
    Ned–Hugh Jackman
    Alice–Courtney Thorne-Smith
    Lila–Leyton Meester
    Enid–Ellen Paige
    Bruce–Chase Crawford
    Mr. Collins–Hugh Grant…wouldn’t that be silly? How old is Collins anyway?
    But who will they cast as the token black character???
    I definitely agree with y’ll that it should be done in the Brady Bunch style.

    • Maybe I'll Catch Fire says:

      Someone on another site I visit suggested Mitch Pileggi could play Mr Collins. I think he’d be great, given how sleazy he sounded when narrating the Masked Magician shows. I felt violated just listening to him speak about the magician’s assitants!

  11. Kelly says:

    I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but Universal Studios owns the SVH rights. Diablo Cody was hired to write the script & produce it. She might surprise you 😉

  12. Nicole says:

    I am so in love with this idea, and I had to rush over here before I even finished reading the article on it.

    I loved Juno, I’ve really enjoyed the United States of Tara…and I think Diablo Cody is savvy enough to be tongue-in-cheek with the material.

    This is awesome.

    And I love Malin Ackerman as the twins.

  13. Roger Patman says:

    80’s genre is the only way to go…Brady Bunch style or even Starsky and Hutch style would be hilarious…
    There’s gonna be lots of pressure on D.C. to not fuck this up – or she’ll have us snarky critics to answer to. We might go all Bruce Patman on her ass!

  14. Sarah says:

    I’m actually very excited about this, especially if it is treated in a Brady Bunch Movie sort of way. Camp is the only way it would work.

  15. Mary-Anne Bruno says:

    I hurried to this blog as soon as I heard about this, knowing that I would find people to share my excitement.
    I am totally stoked. I agree that there may not have been a big enough SVH following for this, (although today I confirmed that the middle school I teach at still carries these books), but a “Brady Bunch” remake would be funny.
    But part of me still wants to see this as it was written. It would be both snark worthy and fullfill our secret desire of SVH being a ‘real’ place.

    Leighton Meester = perfect Lila Fowler

    I’d love to see more casting suggestions!

  16. Lorrie says:

    It was fortuitous that I found this blog just a week ago. A Sweet Valley High movie? Didn’t see that coming. With The Vampire Diaries becoming a TV series, I thought it was only a matter of time before the CW came up with a new SVH series, but the series being made into a movie never crossed my mind.

    As for Dioblo Cody, I think she’s awesome. I love, love, love The United States of Tara. And Juno was good (if perhaps a bit overrated). And America sucks for not seeing Jennifer’s Body. Amanda Seyfried rocks in it.

    Cody is our age (I’m presuming most people who still care enough about SVH to read a blog about it are about 25-35 years old). I’m sure she truly understands SVH.

    • Jan says:

      Jennifer’s Body sucked. America is cool for ignoring it and Megan Fox’s lame attempts at acting. Diablo Cody should go back to stripping.

  17. EmilyKate says:

    I am an unabashed fan of Diablo Cody and have not been this excited about anything since Francine Pascal told Bust magazine was coming out with Sweet Valley Heights, which *ahem* has never materialised.

    I literally ache to see this film.

    • kelsey says:

      Good of you to point out that SVHeights is nothing but bullcrap. I, for one, cannot wait to see this thing, and trust that DC will make it its own little event.

  18. Janelle says:

    I must admit that one of my first thoughts upon hearing the news was that, maybe if this movie actually happens it will motivate Francine to finish that stupid book! (Sweet Valley Heights/Confidential) I wanna know what happens! Although, I’m sure I’ll hate the endings that she produces for everyone and make up my own anyway… But still, you can’t tease us like that and then not give us the book!

    Also, after seeing some of Diablo Cody’s comments I have a feeling this could actually be really good! She seems to know what she’s talking about- she seems to be one of us! At this point I’m cautiously optimistic!

  19. Vanessa Saxton says:

    Regardless of their age, I want to see Robert Redford as Collins and Zabka as Bill Chase. Though I am still waiting for the SVH musical and SVH Heights / SVH Confidential. So to echo someone from another comment string- I am not holding my breath on this one.
    Though Leighton Meister as Lila is genius. I also like Courtney Thorne-Smith as Alice. I think Malin Ackerman is a perfect Jessica, but I hate films that have one person play twins. I would like to see real twins. What about Hugh Hefner’s gals? Joking. Kind of.

  20. Rhiannon Hart says:

    I reckon SVH is RIPE for a movie/television adaptation. LJ Smith, which is basically SVH with vamps (and I adore with every fibre of my once-teen being) has been dragged kicking and screaming out of the nineties, been given slick new book covers and a pretty pretty cast and regurgitated onto our screens. Film rights for YA books are selling ridiculously fast–Wings, Wicked Lovely, The Hunger Games, The Vampire’s Assistant, Tomorrow When the War Began etc etc etc.

    SVH the movie? It’s gonna happen.

  21. Lila Fouler says:

    Argh, torn… why can’t the Sears portraits just come to life and act in the film? Always have high hopes for SV stuff but have never felt the Daniels twins and their co-stars or the 40-something twins on the SVU covers have been accurate depictions of the SV crew…

    Anyway, if it must go ahead (and fingers crossed it will be good!), then Michael Cera for Winston (just for eye candy for me!), and either Chase Crawford or Chris Pine (Star Trek/Just my Luck) as 1Bruce1.

  22. Janelle says:

    I was watching The Vampire Diaries tonight and I think the girl who plays Elena, Nina Dobrev, would be a GREAT Lila Fowler! I, too, am worried about the casting since the tv show got it so wrong (with one possible exception: Winston). Here’s hoping that Lila actually has dark hair! Her eye color is, of course, debatable;)

  23. sunstreakedblonde says:

    Ooh, I like your fantasy casting. I’m clearly in the minority here but DNW Leighton Meester. If Lila Fowler is Gucci, Blair’s the knockoff you buy in downtown L.A. from a dude whose stand moves every fifteen minutes.

    I was heartened to find out that DC wants to set the movie in the 80s, as my biggest fear was that the SVH adaptation would basically be a CW show with the Wakefields. I just really hope she keeps the witty hipster dialogue to a minimum, because not only would that be out of place in SVH, it really, really started to get old in Jennifer’s Body. By the end I wished Jennifer would just kill everyone so they’d shut up.

  24. Stacey says:

    Love this! I think it will be great. Diablo is gonna rock it because 1) she was a true fan back in the day so she GETS it 2) She is not going to smear it to pieces by taking it out of th 80’s like those updated reissues whch I’m thinking she thought was sheetz too. 3)According to EW magazine she is going to do it part camp, part straight so that some real nostalgia comes through. What is not yes about this?

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