I just….no.

Seriously, I don’t even want to give this garbage the dignity of a full post. Janet Quin-Harkin, shame on you. Are you even a real person? Ugh. Okay. A boy-crazy personality-less girl makes a bet with her best friend that they have to date at least ten boys during the summer. Then they get into a fight about something I don’t care to remember. The main character continues on her dating spree but finds love with some guy that stalks her, and of course he’s a model. Friend gets madder that she didn’t complete the bet. Friends make up. Oh, and there’s a series of wacky scenes where spoiled, boring main chracter tries to find a summer job but messes them up and gets fired. Finally, hundreds of MFA grads slit their wrists because this crap gets published and their stuff did’t.

56 thoughts on “I just….no.

  1. Vanessa Saxton says:

    This looks horrendous. I never cared for the “Sweet Dreams” books. I once remember getting a SD book because someone heard I liked Sweet Valley and they thought it was the same thing. Uh, no.
    But seriously, what kind of morals and standards are we setting here with 10 boys in one summer? Slut much? I don’t think I dated 10 boys in my lifetime and I am 31.

    • bookslide says:

      “I don’t think I dated 10 boys in my lifetime and I am 31.”

      Well, I’ve certainly dated more than 10 in my thirty-one years and I don’t consider myself a slut. Nor do I think that “dating”–in real life or as it’s laid out in this book, where the girls have to bring different guys to the local eatery–sets a low standard or is a lack of morals. I think your comment borders on slut-shaming, frankly.

      • Vanessa Saxton says:

        Bookslide, I wasn’t calling anyone who has dated more than 10 boys a slut. I was fortunate to marry my high school sweetheart so I really didn’t date all that much. I am just saying 10 boys in one summer for a teenager is a bit much. Sorry if I offended anyone!

  2. Amber Tan says:

    Ay! It burns, it burns! I remember reading this book and some other books in the Sweet Dreams series. But I only read this dreck to boost my Reading Contest score that summer. I swear. Of course I was already way ahead but I like to hedge my bets IYKWIM.

    But now that you’ve released the floodgates of memory, ihatewheat, I must see if I can find the one about a girl named Maria who falls in love with a rich boy named Paul, who tragically dies of cancer. It was called “Will I Ever Love Again?” or something equally crappy.

    ETA: Nuts. It’s not on either of these lists: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sweet_Dreams_(book_series)

    OK, now this is really bugging me. Gonna have to take it over to Lost & Found 2.

    BTW, Francine Pascal co-wrote “High-Land Hearts” in this series. Yarf. See: http://www.fantasticfiction.co.uk/series/sweet-dreams/highland-hearts.htm

  3. Amber Tan says:

    Geez, I almost forgot to cnark on the cover…

    Like, that lilac-striped shirt with the matching lilac sweatshirt and hair ribbon is sooooo grade school. And who does this gal think she is anyway with her writing pad and pen? Liz Wakefield? You need matching barrettes for that, sweetie. *eye roll*

  4. Bridget Locke says:

    Oh, man! I totally remember this book!

    Does anyone else remember the Sweet Dreams book where the girl gets to dance for the Michael Jackson video and meets him, only to fall in love w/ a guy who is eerily similar to MJ? Man, I had so many of these books it’s kind of sad. *shakes head*

    My favorite (and it’s just because I’m 6’1″) was a book called Memoirs of a Tall Girl. It was kind of like that movie w/ Jeaniene Garrofalo and Uma Thurman, except backwards. Anyway, I loved that book. I read it awhile back and it was so bad it made me laugh hysterically. So sad.

  5. Magpie says:

    So this girl gets a ten-boy summer, while Jessica Wakefield only got a two-boy weekend? I guess we finally found someone with lower standards than Jessica! Sounds like it would have been an improvement for this book to expand the SVH connection and have all ten boys turn out to be crazy stalkers in the manner of Christopher.

  6. Ash says:

    Waauuughhhhh! I had forgotten about the Sweet Dreams books! My library had a wole stack of them including THIS ONE!! Oh the heinousity.

  7. Malika says:

    Sweet dreams! I would actually love it if you would recap them, because i only managed to read a few of them.

    Ten boy summer sounds like a soft-core movie and her licking that pen suggestively isn’t going to do anything about my dirty mind. You wanton hussy!

    Even as a escapism addicted teenager i found them hard to stomach. The Michael Jackson one, i read that one! You are not alone, Bridget Locks. To be honest i thought i had hallucinated that particular book it was so craptascular. Wasn’t the cover the profile of Michael jackson and two girls looking at him longingly? Dears, if you had only had a cristal ball.. But anyways, Ihatewheat if you ever find that book at a jumble sale, buyt it and snark it, because it is pure gold.

    The more i visit this website the more the myth i have told myself about my teenage years reading edifying books is disspelled.

  8. Nichole says:

    I think I actually still have one of the Sweet Dreams books floating around here somewhere. I think it’s called “My Valentine” and it’s about a shy girl who falls for the new guy, blah blah blah. It was cute and sweet and about 125 pages long. I think I need to dig it up and re-read it this weekend.

  9. Susie Madden says:

    Isn’t this the book that introduces Jill and Toni, who went on to star in their own series? (I forget what it was called…On Our Own, or The Two of Us, or something like that)

  10. bookslide says:

    I was going to ask the same question, Susie, because I found the second On Our Own book at the local used bookstore. THE TROUBLE WITH TONI! I think my sister owned it, so I had to pick it up. Haven’t gotten around to re-reading it yet, though.

  11. Robyn says:

    There were two SD books that I loved, but I completely forget what they werwe called. They were about a gilr who goes away one summer, falls in love with a guy who has cancer and then dies at the end of the book. Cheery! But I think those were the only SD I ever read…

  12. Jen S. says:

    I remember a Sweet Dreams (the only one I read, I think,) where the main character is a junior in high school and of course wants, needs a boyfriend more than life itself. Not any particular boy, mind you, just anybody to declare he can stand her and will hold her hand in the school hallway.

    So she has to do a semester long project for a class, and decides that her project will be GETTING A BOYFRIEND. And her MALE teacher okays it!
    What the hell drugs were the ghostwriters on?

    So naturally she meets a guy and likes him and he’s not into being her project but they make up in the end, and she even salvages her grade by changing the topic of her project to how boys and girls meet each other in a big high school. How long was that paper, triple spaced half a page? “Go to mall. Meet local scumbags. Make out.”

  13. Becca says:

    Okay, I totally remember the title and cover of this book! I’m sure I never read it though, so it was probably my older sister’s. I can’t believe my mom would have bought it for her though, ten boys in a summer DOES sound pretty sleazy.

  14. weirdfishes4 says:

    Wow I actually remember reading this book. I was never really fond of the Sweet Dreams series, although I do remember reading one called “The Cinderella Game” and loving the hell out of it! Honestly I don’t even the remember what it was about :/

  15. Rio says:

    I still have a Sweet Dreams dud buried in my old bedroom closet. In “My Dream Guy,” Kate Weatherby is a 16-year-old girl who has no interests in life besides cute boys. (We say that about a lot of YA heroines, but I’m serious about this one.) Her family goes on vacation to a mountain ranch in Colorado (bummed out because her family was supposed to go to California, where all the hot surfers are) and she hooks up with a stablehand named Steve “Stony” Mahoney. She begins to feel like she’s falling in love with him after they’ve known each other for three days. Misunderstandings, beautiful sunsets, and archaic expressions of affection ensue. It ends with a kiss and the words “followed my heart.”

    I’ll send this over if you want to recap it, IHW; it’s perfect fodder for you.

  16. Malika says:

    Just to make thing clear ( will also post it on other blog)

    Re: I’m not calling anyone out. Β« Bookslide III

    The wanton hussy was meant ironically. I’m sorry if that did not come across. Girls should feel free to date whoever they want, whenever they want without having to feel that everyone is keeping a list of their dating behaviour. Until society manages to eradicate double standards about this issue, we are nowhere near equality. In fact, one of the great freedoms i felt about moving away from the small town i lived in was the freedom of everyone looking over my shoulder and feeling irritated about the multiple double standards ( popular girls could date the whole male population of high school and no-one said a word, less popular girls were Slutty Slutinsky if they were 17 and onto their third boyfriend. Whatevs) Exercising discretion before jumping into yet another relationship is a GOOD thing.

    Anyway, serious bit over. Back to snarking about Cover Girl’s matching jumper and notepad.

  17. Magpie says:

    Like Malika, I also felt I should clarify my comment: my comment that the girl in this book has “lower standards” was meant only as a light-hearted comparison with Jessica, a character that several people have mocked on here for her dating habits. It was in no way a reflection of my personal views on real-life people!

    And, for the record, I would find the premise of this book just as idiotic if the main character were male πŸ™‚

    • Amber Tan says:

      I agree re: the double standard issue, Magpie. A similar series featuring teenage boys would probably be called “Playas” or “Hit That”. πŸ˜‰

      BTW, I think the more appropiate term for Jessica would be “tease”, rather than “slut”, since she supposedly never puts out. I also have a bridge to sell y’all. πŸ˜‰

    • Anonymous says:

      you dont all need to explain yourselves just because
      bookslide has a bookslide shoved up her asse.
      She should understand the manner of the site and not
      make things about her.

  18. bookslide says:

    Now I want to go on ten dates in in the course of a couple of months and see what happens. And blog about it as if I were Toni or Jill. Hmmm….Can you imagine an updated version? “Well, this one’s from MySpace, and this one’s from OKCupid…”

  19. Lovey says:

    I’d loved this book and not ashamed to say so LOL. I remember many of the SD series and read them avidly as a preteen. My favorite was “The Popularity Plan” where the shy girl gets confidence lessons and a makeover from her friends and becomes, well, wildy popular!

    AmberTan, the book you are remembering is “P.S. I Love You”. I think it was the first in the SD series.

    I’d love to see more SD reviews!

  20. Bart_Templeton says:

    Actually, AmberTan, I amuse myself by imagining that it is Jessica who stops short of Teh Sex, and Elizabeth who indulges with the 137 boys she “consoles” herself with when she and Todd are on the outs.

    • Amber Tan says:

      Ha! Maybe, BT. Liz always did strike me as being a little too goody-two shoes. In fact, she kinda reminds of an evil biatch I knew in HS who had all the adults believing her $h!t didn’t stink but she was a total slut who talked smack about her “friends” as soon as their backs were turned.

      And just to clarify, when I say “total slut” I mean fuggeddaboud that 10-boy summer stuff; 137 boys in a summer would have been a conservative estimate for this gal. Her only saving grace IMO was that she didn’t have LHOTP syndrome. πŸ˜‰

  21. Caitlin says:

    Does anyone else remember the author whose books all had titles like “One Last Wish” and they were about teenagers with terminal illnesses? They were YA romances, really, except *spoiler* they always die in the end? My library had a whole stack but I can’t remember a single title now, and google’s not being much help either.

      • Caitlin says:

        Thank you!!! Everything google came up with was a bad killer movie, rather than a terrible book πŸ™‚

    • Nichole says:

      Also – Alida E. Young. One of hers that I read over and over was “Is Chelsea Going Blind”? She also wrote “Why Am I Dying?”, “Is My Sister Dying”, and “Why Am I Too Young?”.

  22. Malika says:

    Thanks for the Sweet Dreams website, Hannah! That Michael jackson Sweet dreams is called Star struck and def looks even more mingin’ than i remembered/thought i had hallucinated!

  23. Hannah says:

    I picked up a few Lurlene McDaniel’s books the other day–I work for a publishing company that distributes some of her books, so I can get ‘damaged’ copies for free–and I read My Secret Boyfriend on the bus ride home. This was not one of her books about illness, and really not that great–but it was a quick and painless read! The girls in my class who were into the sappy Lurlene McDaniel books in upper elementary were the most annoying goody-two-shoes, and I think I avoided her books because of that.

  24. Bridget Locke says:

    Hannah-Thanks for the link. Eesh…it’s disturbing to realize that I read 99% of those books. But, I was between the ages of 7 & 12 when I read them so I don’t feel TOO guilty. LOL!

    Speaking of disturbing books, have any of you read “A Night Without Stars?” It’s about a girl with some sort of illness who is staying at a hospital. She meets a boy who was burned in an accident and ends up falling in love with him. Without a doubt it was one of the most depressing books I’ve ever read.

    There was also the book about the girl who witnesses her mother’s murder and gets shot (or something) and goes into a coma for about 6 years. When she wakes up she still thinks she’s 13, only to fall in love with the cop who is investigating (still) the attempted murder. It was turned into an extremely lame Lifetime movie starring our favorite actress Tori Spelling. *cheers* That movie completely pissed me off, since the book was actually pretty decent. The movie? AWFUL!

  25. Caroline says:

    Oh, how I love this blog. Just found it tonight, but pretty sure I will not be getting any work done tomorrow.

    Does anyone remember the book (pretty sure it was a Sweet Dreams, though could be wrong) where the girl’s dad wins a trip through work to the Caribbean (Bahamas, maybe?) and she falls for the boy who turns out to be the guy who was in love with her on a a previous work incentive trip to Montauk? I remember she had really short dark hair on the cover, and the boy was really into photography and gave her lessons. If anyone can remember the title of this one, I would greatly appreciate knowing so that I can move on.

    Also, if anyone finds my dignity, I’d love to have that back as well.

  26. jannghi says:

    I recently found and bought this book and several other SD books, including “PS I Love You,” at a Salvation Army store. I read some of these as teenager, but many I did not get to. We had them in our junior-high library, but they were so popular that I almost never found any. I only ever got to checkout maybe two or three. Anyhow, I had a backache one Sunday (and called in sick form work) and read this book in a single day. One of the titles I missed as a teenager.

  27. Emily says:

    I TOTALLY READ THIS! I had no idea that it was part of a series. The one thing I remember from this book is that the main character goes to a carnival and ends up fainting. It turns out she had chicken pox or something.

  28. Ash says:

    I recall one where there were a bunch of rich kids playing some medieval game all summer and the narrator got made the princess? And the guy she thought she liked was a douchebag. I used to borrow these books all the time when I was younger!! Flashbacks!!!!

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