I’ve found a Wakefield

"I'm feel so bad for anyone that doesn't live in Sweet Valley!"

After seeing Watchmen three times in the theater (yes, I’m just that crazy) I kept thinking, Malin Akerman reminds me of someone…oh fuck, the Wakefield twins. Not just because she’s blond, but because she has a wide, heart shaped face, and also the way she talks (she is the same way in every movie) like she knows she is just so charming and cute. Note to Malin: Sally Jupiter is not a ditzy sorority sister. In 27 Dresses (ugh, yes, I’ve seen it) she’s a total Jessica. This is pretty much how I imagine them looking. Well, I have to give her credit, she was on the short-lived but fantastic show The Comeback which was a total win.

"No need to wear a watch- things don't really start happening until I get there!"

Me and my bff Lila!

"Ew! Winston is wearing a speedo!"

"Omg! I love the Beach Disco!"

32 thoughts on “I’ve found a Wakefield

  1. Rio says:

    This is terrifyingly accurate. Is there a picture of her in an oxford shirt and matching barrettes, snuggling up to some generic jock-type brunet?

  2. Lauri says:

    Wow – all that’s missing is one with a cheerleading costume. The second photo is the best. I saw 27 Dresses and not only was she the perfect Jessica, but her sister was the perfect doormat that Liz is.

  3. sunstreakedblonde says:

    Oh wow, great catch.

    Haven’t seen Watchmen but I remember her in 27 Dresses. Her character is totally Jessica! Katherine Heigl’s character was more of an Enid than a Liz, though. But at least she got some guts at the end.

  4. Lindie says:

    That’s so strange that you thought that too, I watched that film with her and Ben Stiller a couple months back and she totally reminded me of the Wakefield twins!

  5. Bart_Templeton says:

    We disagreed on your October post on 80s options: I was not seeing your attachment to the Teen Wolf girl (the pic you posted did NOT have the Wakie facial proportions. My vote was Betty Childs).

    But by golly, we’re in perfect harmony on this one! Wide, heart-shaped face indeed.

    Paging Jimmy, paging Jimmy… your new muse has arrived.

  6. Bart_Templeton says:

    (That was Liz pretending to be Jessica in one of their shenanigans, only Liz, being a terrible actress and an unreformed tightass, cannot hide the tension in her smile. “I’m going to KILL you for making me do this, Jess.” Come now, Liz. We both know you won’t.)


    (pick picture #1 out of that slideshow–That was Jessica dressing up in her Jessa Fields interview outfit, pre-black dye job. Unfortunately, she hasn’t practiced the “chilly Eurotrash” expression; her smirk is pure Jessica Wakefield)

    (“Oh, there’s a cute boy. Maybe if I smile hard enough he’ll fall in love with me now instead of after the usual 15 minute interval.” –JW, soft, side-swept wavy hair courtesy Jimmy)

    (Alice Robertson when she was not yet a Stepford Wife.)

    (“Bruce! What have you done with my bikini top?”)

  7. Maybe I'll Catch Fire says:

    I fear I may never be able to watch Watchmen ever again because I’ll keep seeing her as Jessica and not her character in the film.

  8. Malika says:

    Yup! Am seeing Watchmen on friday, will be able to think of nothing else! ( Well, except the fact that they’ve campified the gorgeous Matthew Goode. Oh dear..) Malin IS Jessica come to life, especially the leopard-print bikini photo.

  9. Robyn says:

    I always thought she could be a Wakefield twin… She has that snotty look on her face, just like Jessica would have, when she had an unfortunate encounter with someone over a perfect size 6. Gasp – the horror!
    But in that vein – did anyone here watch Ruby on the Style channel? One of her friends is Brittany Daniels, who played Jesica on the TV show. Could you imagine Jessica being friends with Ruby? Or for that matter, someone of Ruby’s size existing in Sweet Valley? I don’t think they would have allowed that!

  10. Amanda says:

    Lauri there is one out there of her in a cheerleading outfit. It’s from 27 Dresses. And it’s very very Jessica in it. I can’t find it but if you see the movie, its near the end. During the rehearsal dinner in the photo montage.

  11. ihatewheat says:

    In Watchmen, despite being brunette, she does wear some craptastic 80s outfits. Ozymandius is a bit Bruce Patman-esque. Except less rapey. Does that make Dr. Manhattan Todd?

  12. Maybe I'll Catch Fire says:

    Possibly. Of course now I feel the next recap should be read by the Watchmen. But who would Nite Owl, Rorsash (yes I can’t spell) and the Comedian be?

  13. Bart_Templeton says:

    Yes, I also thought it was Kirsten Dunst. I don’t think she looks “Jessica” at all; she looks too juvenile.

    The mystique of Jimmy’s masterworks is that we were talking about kids, really–juniors in high school–yet the portraits were of full-on women, circa age 28 or so, complete with office-appropriate ash-blonde manes and even, times, suit jackets (STARRING JESSICA) and moustachioed 35-year old boyfriends (ALL NIGHT LONG).

  14. andrea says:

    totally totally agree. the first time i saw her was in heartbreak kid and with her golden locks, blue-green eyes the color of the pacific ocean, and heart-shaped face — she is the perfect wakefield. she would do a better job than the cynthia & britney daniel chicks who played the twins in the tv series.

  15. Becky says:

    I get the reference, but I always think the cover art of the original SVH was the spit of the actress Rachel Blanchard who was in clueless, Flight of the Conchords and Snakes on a Plane. Who in turn is the born image of Heather Graham.

    It’s a bit creepy!!

  16. Becky says:

    Just to add to my previous post, she was also Dinah on the TV series Criss Cross which I absolutely loved as a kid. Does anyone else remember that show?

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