Gah, how much do you want to throw a punch? That smug smile. Those awful bangs.
And seriously, was this even necessary? Does SVH really need more of something that gives Jessica attention? I think Francine is taking the concept of “popular” too literally. From what I remember, the popular kids in my school weren’t necessarily the most well-liked. Many girls hated them, others feared them, but they had some sort of control over the others. So I doubt that every student is so excited for Jessica to be in the spotlight of some dumb talk show. The plot is too dumb and trite to actually explain, so I’ll give you the main players.
ERIC PARKER: An alumn of SVH who is now a famous talk show host. For some reason, he wants to film his show back at his alma matter, and wants to find the “all-American, well rounded college student” for his segment on “Growing Up in America.” Yea, battling werewolves and murdered boyfriends makes you All-American. Good going, Parker.
JESSICA: Attention whore, of course doesn’t just WANT to win, but thinks she DESERVES to win. She is concerned because she doesn’t have many extra-curricular activities. Apparently being a sociopathic cock tease doesn’t translate well on a resume. So she decides to write an article for The Oracle so she can put “journalist” on her application. She writes a story about all the bad dates she’s been on, but changes the guys’ names. Guess who Reginald Rich is? Also, according to Jessica, he kisses like a dead jellyfish. Last I checked, jellyfish couldn’t untie your bikini top.
BRUCE: Is all pissy that Jessica spread the rumor about him. He vows to get even with her. People have been teasing him about the “dead jellyfish” comment all week. To make himself feel better, he rubs himself in baby oil and rolls around in a big pile of money, then cries himself to sleep while masturbating to a picture of himself.
LILA: Gets super-psycho-competitive with Jessica because Lila is picked as the alternate. Lies on her application and makes it seem like she does tons of activities and isn’t rich. Tries to sabotage Jessica by making her miss the interview. Teams up with Bruce to set Jessica up by driving her out to an expensive store and leaving her there, and framing her for shoplifting. Bruce “puts in a call” to the store pretending to be police warning the store of a shoplifter that fits Jessica’s description. This “frenemy” thing with Jessica is…actually quite sick.
ELIZABETH: Ugh. Makes it all about her. Gets all pissy when Penny Ayala loves Jessica’s article right away and feels like she never gets the attention as a reporter. Decides she needs to try more activities so she and Enid become junior park rangers (laaaaaaaaaaaame). Of course, the head ranger recognizes Liz’s tremendous sense of maturity and responsibility and makes her head junior ranger. Liz gets overwhelmed and decides to quit, only AFTER SHE GETS THE VALIDATION. So she makes it all about proving she’s the best, and leaves the park rangers high and dry. When Jessica doesn’t make the interview, she decides to go on as Jessica.
Lila is surprised to see that “Jessica” made it back from being held in jail, and IT NEVER OCCURS TO HER THAT IT MAY BE LIZ. Jessica is fine with Liz appearing on the show, and actually doesn’t care that she couldn’t appear because she just enjoys the attention it gets her. And Elizabeth still gets to feel all holier-than-thou because she can still think the whole tv show thing is immature, but meanwhile got to be on the show. Where have we seen that before?
And what parents or friends REALLY can’t tell twins apart? Well, I guess these are the same people who though crazy Margo was the twins.