23 thoughts on “Just because.

  1. Anonymous says:

    I was wondering why Devon Whitelaw was in his own circle; it’s unclear from the graph whether he’s been with the both of them.

    But he has, I think in Secret Love Diaries: Jessica. And of course the whole Whitelaw breaks up Todd/Liz so she can fall in love with an alcoholic storyline.

  2. Magpie says:

    No wonder Elizabeth is so bad at writing poetry and seems to be stuck in an elementary French class, since they never actually seem to learn anything at SVH!

  3. Bart_Templeton says:

    Oh, so masturbating to Elizabeth’s “Eyes and Ears” column is visually depicted with two bumping circles in a Venn diagram?


  4. Lauri says:

    You forgot Mike, who married Jessica and almost slept with Liz. I love in the second graph the “assembly honoring one of the twins” portion.

  5. Sarah C. says:

    Where is Steven? Sadly, he is an integral part of SVH life. Also, if you are including Mr. Collins, you have to include Alice Wakefield too. Mega quasi-incest!!!!

    I can’t even articulate how happy I am that you included Carl the Orderly. His little yellow circle looks just like a frozen pancake.

  6. Bart_Templeton says:

    I also like how one of the circles in the first diagram is titled “Dead.” (In which case, Luke the werewolf should be in it too, no?)

    I sincerely hope Steven (or Ned) does NOT get a place on the first diagram.

  7. ihatewheat says:

    Devon has a little overlap with Jessica because he kind of got with her when he thought she was Liz.

    Wait, Elizabeth gets with Mike McAllery? Jessica’s EX HUSBAND? Please explain.

  8. Rio says:

    Yes, it’s true. It happened right after Nick Fox died and Jessica started having her mental breakdown. Liz and Mike hook up briefly after she finds out about Tom boning Dana while they were broken up (Tom: “WE WERE ON A BREAK!”), but just before she’s about to let him swipe her V-card, she decides that it isn’t fair to Jess and leaves him with a bad case of blue balls in a hotel room in L.A. (she’s there covering a press conference for some inane reality show).

    You should make a pie chart comparing guys who have ALMOST tapped Elizabeth to the one guy who actually has.

  9. Lauri says:

    Yes, to some random English lord of some kind. He was engaged to someone else at the time. (English guy and fiance were not ON A BREAK) Be glad you missed the whole Elizabeth series.

  10. Rio says:

    1. Nick Fox fake-died and went into the Witness Protection Program.
    2. Sam got with Liz near the end of the SVU series.
    3. Liz lost it to an English viscount named Max. Here’s the condensed explanation:

    a) Jess catches Sam making out with another girl just before Liz plans to give it up to him.
    b) Jess pretends to be Liz and make out with Sam so Liz will catch them, freak out, and dump him.
    c) Liz dumps both of them and flies to London, since she’s been accepted to U. London for a creative writing program.
    d) Having neglected to respond to the acceptance letter, Liz loses her place at U. London and ends up working in a stately home for an earl for six months.
    e) Liz ends up falling in love (dur) and sleeping with (OMG!) the earl’s son, who is engaged to Lavinia, essentially the English version of Melissa Fox from SVSY.
    f) After boning Liz, Max calls Jess and tells her where to find her.
    g) Liz decides to go home, even though Max proposes to her.

  11. ihatewheat says:

    Wow, that sounds…thrilling.

    Is this the same Sam as jungle prom roadkill Sam?

    As far as he goes, it was revealed in one of the Secret Diaries that Liz had a fling with Sam right before he dated Jessica. You’d think that she’s be mourning his death a bit more.

  12. Magpie says:

    It’s a different Sam from the dead SVH Sam. The first time I read the blurb on the back of an SVU book featuring the new Sam, I was so excited thinking that they’d brought the old Sam back to life, which wouldn’t be beyond the realms of possibility for the Sweet Valley universe. I was sorely disappointed, ’cause the SVU Sam sucks.

  13. Rio says:

    Nope, this one’s name is Sam Burgess. He goes to Orange County College and met the twins (and their GBF, Neil Martin) on the road-trip show that was the central topic of the aforementioned press conference. He comes from money, but lives like a typical broke college student and is totally over SVU-style superficiality. In short, most awesome SV character ever (until he fell for Liz).

  14. Anisa(: says:

    hilarious. pure gold.
    & i thought elizabeth would never lose it.
    i agree.
    sam was amazing, but he ended up with liz…*sigh*

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