Why I’m done with Twilight

I’m about three-fourths done with the book, and I just can’t bring myself to finish it. Don’t get me wrong, I thrive on the awful and horrible. Obviously, that’s the raison d’etre for this whole blog. But for me, the book is a whole new level of bad that I can’t even stomach. The more I read, the more enraged I became at the publishing industry and the English language as a whole. I am sure the immense hype and fangirl-dom didn’t help it either, which only fueled my fire. Jessica and Elizabeth are easy to hate; they are over the top parodies of themselves.  Yea, I know I’m missing out on some magical baseball game that pits vampires against humans, but I’ll take another Liz and Todd breakup over that anyday.

Maybe one day after the apocalypse, my house and books will burn down and magically this book will be saved and I’ll read it as an alternative to the boredom of the impending downfall of humans and I’ll let you know how it is.

For your amusement:
Some crazy fan makes a replica of Bella’s womb.

Twilight Moms: “Fans of the Twilight Series in OUR STAGE of life (whether you’re a mom or not) now have a place where we can gather unashamed of our irrational obsession with vampires and werewolves. We have a place where “our kind” can relate without having to wade through all the teenage Internet code mumbo jumbo like “OMG!!! IMHO Edward is sooo Hawt!!!” (usually a dead giveaway that you should be doing your social studies homework for 3rd period instead of playing on the computer.) FYI, it was a group of 14/15 year olds that “changed” me. However, OUR world of balancing family, work, home, marriage AND…our Twilight obsession is unique, fun, and oh, so very humorous. The personal stories and experiences I’ve heard and read from women all over the world are a blast. YOU LADIES ROCK!!!”

This…just….boggles…my…mind. They are trying to convince themselves that they are “above” all the crazy fandom. Just call it what it is.

Bite Me! Or Don’t. A fantastic article from Bitch magazine about how Stephenie has created a new genre: abstinence porn.

Someone who is more eloquent than I who expresses the reasons for my dislike.  Of course, the backlash on the comments is just as hilarious. “u r a IDIOT!!!
obviously, you don NOT understand 1. single. little. tiny. THING. about love.”

Finally, The Vampire Diaries has been picked up as a tv series. Written by Kevin Williamson. Ugh. Just what we need, another damsel in distress as a role model. With voiceovers and James Van der Beek as Stefan.

For those of you that do enjoy the series, please don’t take this as an affront, this is not meant as an insult to the individuals that read them. I still respect your opinion and if these books give you enjoyment, why not savor that enjoyment?

77 thoughts on “Why I’m done with Twilight

  1. Nancy says:

    Is it just me or is that Twilight Moms thing even more disturbing than the model womb?! (now there’s a sentence I never thought I’d have to write).
    ‘The hand that rocks the cradle is the hand that rules the world’..? Jesus, Beezus.

  2. Malika says:

    In a couple of hours i am going out to a Dim Sum restaurant, but looking at Bella’s womb felt creation has curbed my appetite..

  3. amandahugnkiss says:

    So my in-laws wouldn’t get off my junk about reading this piece of shit series, and I’m through the first two books. If I was an English major, I could write a whole thesis on the way Bret Easton Ellis used lengthy descriptions to enhance “American Psycho” and really set the tone of excess in the ’80s. While Stephenie Meyer just seemed to want to be able to write books that were excessively long.
    Also? STOP REFERENCING BRONTE AND SHAKESPEARE. I’m on to you, Meyer, and your little subliminal mind tricks won’t work on me. At your best you’re a subpar Kate Williams. Suck on that, vamp fans!
    /end rant.
    ihatewheat, I think you made an excellent choice in stopping. Even channeling my rage here has only made it subside a twee bit.

  4. annakelly says:

    I enjoyed your posts on Twilight more than actually reading it, or so I would imagine. But I understand that your sanity is at stake 😉

  5. Rio says:

    Prepare for a big stack of fangirl hate mail:



  6. ihatewheat says:

    The thing that also gets me is that maybe I am missing something? I am so used to not liking what most people like, but people I totally respect are way into the series- it’s just so baffling to me.

    Is it about the love story? Cuz I could think of so many other books about love….

  7. Jen S. says:

    I have to thank you for reading this bilge so I don’t have to.

    I really can’t believe how tied up our culture’s notions of “HAWTTT” are with controlling dick men and helpless, whiny girls who are only interesting if their hymens are intact. Sorry, Myers, I didn’t buy this pigshit in a polk when it was Heathcliff and Catherine, and that was by Emily Bronte. You, missy, are no Emily Bronte. You are not even Emily Bronte’s barely literate maid.

  8. Karmyn says:

    My neice is obsessed with these books. She’s read Twilight about seven times. I keep telling myself I need to have a long talk with her.
    I have nothing against vampire stories or romance. I’m a romance novel junkie, but I’m selective in what I read. I know when a ‘hero’ is being a manipulative, abusive jerk and Edward is the worst at it. Bella can’t exist without him. Not a healthy relationship. Not to mention the ‘I’m so old at 18’ crap.
    My boyfriend left me with no explanation, not even to his family and then died. I did not wangst about it. Yeah, I hate that I never got closure, that I never got a chance to really explain things to him or find out why he left, but I didn’t wangst or try suicide by motorcycle or cliff diving. People actually asked me how I felt about it. I said I didn’t know. I still don’t, but I didn’t wangst.
    Meyer’s views just creep me out. Is it a Mormon thing? I’ve known some lovely, intelligent people that are Mormons, but then they don’t live in Mormon-Central.

  9. Lauren says:

    I totally agree about the Twilight being crap. The books are awful…truly. I love what Stephen King said about the author. He’s can be sort of odd and grumpy which is partly why I like him…but I like him even more now that he has dissed that Meyer’s chick lol.

  10. Courtney says:

    I have absolutely no interest in reading these books and am so glad you have helped justify that decision. Every once in a while I think I should have a more open mind and stop judging all the women in my workplace for reading these books but after reading this I’m pretty sure I can remain my judgmental self!

  11. Laura @ Hungry and Frozen says:

    Thanks for the link to the Bitch website, that was a great article. I’ve not read any of these books, although I was considering it, just so I’d know what everyone was going on about. I mean, I was intensely into the Spice Girls when I was eleven, but that was before widespread internet access – where I came from, anyway – so who knows what might have escalated if I’d had exposure to online stuff? (not saying I’d have made a womb but…) I certainly thought they were brilliant at the time, now, not so much. Not sure where I’m going with this, but the idea of perspective – what will these obsessed fangirls think of Twilight in, say, five years’ time?

    By the by, part of my job involves print media work and it means I have quite a lot to do with teen magazines. I must say, Robert Pattinson’s interviews are pretty hilarious. At least if he or Kristin are on the cover it means Miley Cyrus isn’t.

  12. Taren says:

    Stephen King dared to insult Stephenie Meyer by saying she just wasn’t a good writer. A lot of the fans went batshit crazy about it, saying he was just jealous, etc. I wrote a simple, inocuous blog post about it, which then got picked up by a Twilight fan site and is now over there for them to comment on. Yeah, that wasn’t a weird experience at all…

    Being a fan of the series is one thing, but feeling the need to debate it with people who don’t like it is just weird to me.

  13. Taren says:

    Oh yeah, I read a blog that had quoted some of the comments on the original article and it was all “he’s just jealous that people love her and not him” and “all the movies based on his books go straight to dvd or cable”. My personal favorite was where someone said that since he writes books that are different from SM’s he has no right to criticize her books. There’s no excuse for being so ignorant.

  14. maybeimamazed02 says:

    Um, crazy Twilight fans, Stephen King ALSO wrote the short stories that provided the bases for Stand By Me and The Shawshank Redemption, two AMAZING films. Way more amazing than your piece of shit movie.

    My best friend and I (who suffered through all four books) were just saying last night that we’re embarrassed to have these books on our shelves. (Keep in mind that I read a TON of YA, and will happily defend any of it.) I also bought The Host (yeah, don’t ask me why, because I myself can’t figure it out), and tried to return it but I lost the receipt. I’m seriously thinking of doing a “Meyer cleanse” and selling all five books on Craigslist.

    Besides creepy Edward and Mary Sue Bella, can I just say what REALLY bugged me? How the “imprinting” werewolf thing basically justified pedophilia. EW.

  15. Lady of the Review says:

    I read the first three books of this series and was pretty “Eh” about them. Liked Jacob. Thought he was pretty cool.

    Then the debacle that is Breaking Dawn came out. Read an awesome review of it and was so disgusted by how the book was justified (so to speak) that I immediately donated the other three to the Goodwill.

    And I’m finding it especially interesting to go to the sites you mentioned and read the comments from the diehard fans. 99% of them are completely illiterate and can’t spell to save their lives. I commented and said how sad it was that our language has been defeated by texting. LOL! For shame!

    Anyhoodles, that’s just my two cents. 🙂

  16. Cat says:

    Wow, you made it through as much as I did before I called it quits, for mostly the same reason–well, that and I was bored out of my brains. I was like, STFU, Bella, I don’t give a shit how h4wt and sparkly Edward is… will someone just kill someone already?? You know this shit is whack when psycho Margo is a scarier character than a vampire.

    I was D: when I saw the announcement of the Vampire Diaries TV Series, but you know I’m totally going to watch it, if only for snark fodder.

  17. Sugarmonkey says:

    I love Bitch mag. I tried to discuss that article with my older sister and my co-worker both of whom have read the whole series, and they weren’t interested at all. My sister made it very clear that Ed is controlling “OF HIMSELF” (in other words: he is NOT controlling of Bella OR a misogynist etc.) “that’s why it’s so romantic! He has to refrain from killing her because loves her so much!” W…T…F!? He literally wants to disembowl his ‘love’ and gives her bruises on her head because sex with him is so rough and that’s friggin’ romantic? Sigh I am so alone in my views where I live.

  18. Deathy says:

    I actually finished Breaking Dawn today. I liked Jacob, which was the only reason I finished the series. Bella and Edward are the two most boring, static main characters ever. The womb thing truly disturbs me, and I saw some frightening things in my time in the Gundam Wing fandom.

    And I will totally watch the Vampire Diaries when it comes out. I loved that series when I was a kid so it’s still kind of special to me. ^_^

  19. Jen S says:

    I would leap to the defense of writers I like, so in that sense I don’t blame Meyer fans–nobody likes being called stupid. But the whole “IZ GONNA BURN DOWN YER WOOOOORRRRLLLLD STEVEN KUNG YOU IS SO STOOPID DIE!” thing is not conveying your intelligence, guys–more proving his point.

    Look, nobody expects you to only love War and Peace or Rememberance of Things Past. You’re kids. It’s okay to explore love and such in things written for your age group, and it’s okay to love certain books or movies no matter how bad they objectively may be. Good lord, this blog is dedicated to that very thing.

    But it’s also a bad idea to form your entire world and/or personality around any one thing, and that goes double for badly written sadomasochistic vampire crap. You have less time than you think to form your tastes, it kinda creeps up on you. Do you really want to be modeling wombs, arguing with other FORTY-FIVE YEAR OLD WOMEN about the hotness of a fictional teenager, or thinking the best way for a man to prove he loves you is not kill you? Seriously, that way marriage to the Night Stalker lies.

  20. Elizabeth says:

    Right, so I’m one of those serious feminists who really enjoyed Twilight.

    I can’t disagree with anything you’ve said here; the books are creepy. Bella is boring. Edward is frightening, and not in a delicious this-is-why-it’s-fun-to-read-horror way; I mean that it frightens me that his constant patronizing of Bella is considered by everyone to be romantic and cute, and I want it to stop.

    And by Breaking Dawn, I really, really couldn’t handle the not-so-subtle anti-abortion crap. (I had the pleasure, by the way, of participating in my first, highly successful abortion clinic defense a week ago. It was lovely. I encourage y’all to consider doing the same.)

    And yet. I really, really had fun reading the first book. I’ve tried to work through this apparent contradiction, and I’m not sure I’m really any closer to understanding, but one thing Jenn Hubbard said helped me: she listed Twilight in a list of books that excel at plotting.

    My first reaction was surprise; there’s barely a discernible plot, I thought, in those first few hundred pages. But actually, that’s not true. The plot is Bella trying to figure out if Edward could possibly actually really like her, and a continual escalation of clues that he actually does.

    And it turns out to be a weird thing about me that stories like that will pretty much always work on me, regardless of anything else.

    I have no idea whether that helps any of you haters understand some of our seemingly inexplicable love, but there you have it.

  21. Lynn says:

    I only made it halfway through the book. I quit when I realized that I was more entertained by my dog chewing a bone then I was by the book.

    But I’d forgotten I’d put a hold on the digital audiobook at my library, so when it came through after 2 months I decided to give it another try.

    While I find Edward, if anything, even more creepy, I get Bella a bit better. I don’t like her, but I think the reason I don’t like her is that I recognize some of the worst of my teenage attitudes in her. I get why teenagers like the book.

    The Twilight Moms just scare me.

  22. Kelly says:

    Here’s my take on Twilight…

    I read the book to see what all the fuss was about. I liked it; it was kind of boring, but entertaining none the less. I liked the movie more (clearly the sign of a bad book) because I think it was romantic and cute and I like the Pattinson.

    I am bothered by the general thinking that being abstinent = being a bad feminist. I thought the whole point of feminism is having control over your body and making your own decisions about sex, abortion, etc. I am tired of sex = women’s lib.

    Teens like Twilight because of Edward’s chivalry. Just because Edward and Bella don’t “do it” doesn’t mean he has control over her.

    That being said, I haven’t read the other three books, so I don’t know. But I think they’re pretty harmless.

  23. Rio says:

    Abstinence on its own isn’t the problem; it’s the way it’s discussed here. A Walk to Remember, while otherwise one of the most ridiculously overwrought movies I’ve ever seen, is a good example of promoting abstinence without a major superiority complex. Twilight is not.

    What makes Bella an anti-feminist heroine is the fact that her sole reason for living, practically by her own admission, is Edward. If she has any intelligence, talents, or opinions of her own, I’d love it if someone could point them out.

  24. Magpie says:

    Why why why did I just go and read the comments to some of those links you posted?? My head now hurts from all that crazy. It worries me that some of the ridiculously die-hard fans are so aggressive towards anyone who dares to disagree with them.

    I can totally understand why people would feel defensive about something they like, but that level of obsession seems more than a bit creepy.

  25. bookslide says:

    Is it wrong that when I heard that there was going to be a Vampire Diaries show, the only thing I could think was “OMGGG, have to write my recaps faster”? I’m so psyched! How could this work as a show? It barely works as books! And talk about your abstinence porn–wasn’t that, like, the entirety of books while we were growing up. SO CLOSE AND YET SO FAR.

  26. Laura says:

    I like what Kelly said about so many feminists seeming to think that sex = women’s lib. How telling is it that we are so caught up with EVERYTHING having to be sexual that chastity itself is sexualized with the title “abstinence porn”?

    I think that the Twilight series’ appeal is that it is a comment on the fact that whereas once it was completely taboo for teenage girls to engage in sex outside of marriage, it is now almost expected of them. If they don’t have sex, they must be hung up about their bodies, or frigid, or something even worse. In either case, it’s about external expectations of women’s behavior.

    Twilight, however clumsily (and I don’t think Stephanie Meyer consciously chose to deal with this topic), touches that nerve. So many things about this book absolutely appall me, but what always sucks me in in the end is the fact that Edward has restraint. Yes, he’s repulsive, but I respond to that restraint on some deeply rooted level. Probably because it is not often encouraged in teenage boys these days. It might appeal to teen girls because Edward has to restrain something far more powerful and carnal than the average-yet-still-threatening teen boy horndog-ness that they have to deal with every day.

    Male restraint is no longer as culturally encouraged as it once was. I feel that the sudden obsession with vampirism in pop culture signals a longing for its return. If anything, vampirism has become a plot device that makes male restraint acceptable in pop culture again. Buffy is another perfect example of this — she gets involved with a vampire who has a soul and can therefore restrain himself.


  27. nikki says:

    To the many commenters who want to get rid of their Twilight books:
    Don’t give them to the Goodwill! Head over to Paperbackswap.com. I got rid of ALL of my Twilight books in one fell swoop that way. AND I got four credits, one of which I used to order The Stand by Stephen King.

  28. BartTempleton says:

    Look, you tried. No one can blame you that your inborn gag reflex kicked in (a bit belatedly–aherm, 3/4 of the way in), but at least you can say you tried.

    I imagine it must be pretty alienating to be a thirty to forty something mother (not old enough yet to be able to be “ironic” in loving YA lit) and every time you turn on the TV, you see references to TWILIGHT wedded to images of sqealing teenybop fangirldom. So, more power to them and their enterprise. I hope they find the solace they seek.

    I’m thrilled that VD is being made into tv, not because it was LJ’s best work (it was not, not by a long chalk), but because this author is long overdue widespread national recognition. Most of her heroines kick the butts of YA heroines of the past 20 years, and her writing skill is undeniable. Considering all the mess LJ’s had to deal with in her personal life (that caused her to stop writing for 10 years), to say nothing of S. Meyer’s egregious “borrowing” of some of her vamp themes, I’m really happy she gets her chance in the sun.

    Oh, and Jen S.’s post rules and merits re-posting:


    I have to thank you for reading this bilge so I don’t have to.

    I really can’t believe how tied up our culture’s notions of “HAWTTT” are with controlling dick men and helpless, whiny girls who are only interesting if their hymens are intact. Sorry, Myers, I didn’t buy this pigshit in a polk when it was Heathcliff and Catherine, and that was by Emily Bronte. You, missy, are no Emily Bronte. You are not even Emily Bronte’s barely literate maid.

  29. BartTempleton says:

    Elizabeth and Laura, I appreciate you sharing your thoughts on why you love TWILIGHT. Take it from someone who knows what’s it like to enjoy something un-ironically when everyone else you know has only snark for it (NBC, please make a second season of MOMMA’s BOYS,).

  30. Elizabeth says:

    Thanks, BartTempleton!

    And for the record, while I think the moms for Twilight site is pretty revealing about some of the limitations of our culture (…how isolating must it be for some of these moms? That’s sad), I also feel like:

    Look, I’m a near-26-year-old who loves teen romance. I might totally still love teen romance, and also have children of my own, in 10 years. I might even still be blogging (or whatever is the 10-years-hence alternative!) about my love of teen romance novels, who knows. Is it acceptable and ironic now but creepy if I’m still doing it then?

    Let’s not necessarily define someone’s whole identity, and what their cultural tastes should be, by their motherhood status, is my point. Even if they’re making a webpage doing that themselves, and we find it a bit absurd.

  31. Jen S says:

    I totally agree that restraint can be sexy sexy sexin’ times–romance writers have mined that ore for decades, and no less an august personage than Roger Ebert has pointed out “Sixty seconds of wondering if someone is going to snog you is hotter than sixty minutes of someone snogging you.” And check out Diane Ackerman’s piece “On the Erotics of Waiting” in A History Of Love for wonderfully written insights on how courtly love of 12th century France evolved into our romantic notions of love today.

    But the thing is, waiting has to be the spice, it can’t be the whole meal. Edward has restraint, but it’s not for Bella’s mind or soul or fun companionship at the baseball games–she’s just a tasty morsel. He comes across as someone who knows there’s a particularly toothsome doughnut in the fridge and is amusing himself by not eating it–yet.
    And Bella seems perfectly content to sit and be waited for–she doesn’t seem to have any kind of goals–not college, not a job, not travel. She can’t wait to park her butt in Forks, Washington for all time and be dwelt on until Edward deigns to recognize her, talk to her, marry her, bite her. If she suddenly brings up what she wants from a relationship all the “hotness” wafts away like mist at dawn.

  32. Jen S says:

    And by the by, I would never judge someone on reading YA lit and liking it no matter what age they are. Good stories are good stories, and as I said earlier, what you love is what you love. And it is sad that women feel so isolated by their mom status they have to go on the internet to post about something without being embarrassed.

    But what is embarrassing is that they don’t sound like proud grownups enjoying something–more like desperate teensters shrieking at a NKOTB concert. You shouldn’t sound like a teenager in your thirties, be lusting like a hormone addled panda after a teenage boy, or identifying so uncomfortably closely with a teenage girl. Understand them, yes, enjoy them, yes, be inspired to write your own books about them or form close friendships in real life or on the net, yes. But not try to be teenagers, as if everything you are past fifteen is nothing compared to seeing Edward sparkle in the sun.

  33. Cat says:

    Elizabeth, in response to your 3:03 pm post, I don’t make fun of TwiMoms because they’re Moms, or because they’re older. I make fun of them because they are CRAZY. They gleefully post about not cleaning their house and neglecting their kids b/c they are so love-struck. They ask Robert Pattinson to bite them. They stalk cast members on the Twilight set. And when other fans make fun of them for their behavior, they accuse us of being “jealous 13-year-olds.” Seriously, I’m probably the same age as most of them (although admittedly single and childless, and I like it that way) and I’m still on blogs like this one mocking 80s and 90s YA. But you don’t see me not cleaning my house because I’m so love-struck over Bruce Patman. Or something.

    Reading through all the fans’ comments here, there’s some fascinating meta buried in all this about the appeal of Twilight of people who should know better (no offense), but whenever I try to seriously get into that, I get distracted by LOL SPARKLES and it goes away.

  34. ana says:

    as someone who enjoys your blog, i’m a little disappointed that you aren’t going to finish twilight. but, as someone who went through the self-loathing of actually reading *the entire series*, i commend anyone who can start twilight and, after realizing that it is so bad it isn’t even enjoyable to parody it, actually PUT THE BOOK DOWN. congratulations, you are a better human being for it.

  35. Elizabeth says:

    Cat: Okay, fair enough. To be honest, it’s not the lack of house cleaning that does it for me (I am really, really glad you can’t see my house, as I curl up to open another Laurie Halse Anderson book rather than do the damn dishes), but I can well believe you that these folks are crazy.

    Especially having seen what some fans can stoop to, in the form of that TERRIFYING, TERRIFYING WOMB.

  36. Heidi says:

    I know nothing about these Twilight books but what does a womb have to do with anything? Is that something in the book or was that just some scary, crazy thing some psycho did for fun?

  37. BartTempleton says:

    Correct me if I’m wrong, fans, but doesn’t she give birth (after having Teh Sex) to a vamp baby that chews its way out of her womb?

  38. maybeimamazed02 says:

    Elizabeth–Laurie Halse Anderson is awesome. If you haven’t read Catalyst, do so immediately. It’s my favorite of hers.

  39. Elizabeth says:

    maybe…: Thanks! I’ve actually read all of Laurie Halse Anderson’s books except Chains, which I’m digging into right now. (And Wintergirls — I’m not one of those cool bloggers that gets ARCs.)

    I certainly did not mean to dis her by including her in this thread full of Bella’s womb, Edward’s emotional instability, and, always and forever, Bruce Patman.

  40. I like toast says:

    Yeah…that’s my main problem. I read the first one a few years ago because some co-workers said it was amazing, I was underwhelmed (to say the least), and have never looked back. Now here in Japan, I’ve met quite a few smart girls who are in love with these books. They admit they are bad, but that’s not the problem (since I love “bad” books too). There’s just nothing good about them that I can see. They don’t even have that “so bad it’s good” element. They’re just bad. I hardly ever stop reading in a series, but I have no interest in reading any of the other books either. I agree with you IHW…I can’t understand what these girls who I respect intellectually see in the books.

  41. Cat says:

    Heidi, to answer your question, behold the womb of DOOM! (Hey, it rhymes!)

    Warning: Probably not NSFW but most definitely NSFL

    BartTempleton, you’re mostly correct, except it’s Edward that chews the baby out of her womb. Mmmm, womb.

  42. greer says:

    I like them because Bella gets to hit it with the hottest guy in school… eventually!!!!

    I think they are laced with crack and if you manage to finish the first one, you’re fucked and finding torrents of the movie to download.

  43. maybeimamazed02 says:

    Elizabeth–don’t worry, I didn’t think you were dissing Laurie Halse Anderson! I just thought it was cool you brought her up, as an example of a GOOD YA writer.

    And Nikki–THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU for suggesting Paperback Swap. I put up all five of my Meyer books (plus some others that were wasting space on my shelves). My first three Twilight books are already spoken for, with Breaking Dawn and The Host pending. And in return I’ll get books I won’t be embarrassed about. Woohoo!

    Bruce Patman forever!

  44. bookslide says:

    Whoa whoa whoa, Bart–what happened in Ms Smith’s personal life that made her stop writing??? I had convinced myself as a teen she was dying of cancer and that’s why she wasn’t finishing NW.

  45. Juanita says:

    I cannot believe the Vampire Diaries is becoming a TV show! Do you know that L.J. Smith just released “Nightfall,” the 5th V.D. book? I got it from the bookstore but haven’t started reading it yet.

    Bookslide – her mom was really sick (I think cancer). http://www.ljanesmith.net/index.php – I think she writes about it on her website.

  46. Fraser says:

    Did the Bitch article author actually think vampire bite=sex is some kind of a breakthrough discovery? Because it isn’t.
    It reminds me of an article that announced with great amazement that the appeal of Twilight is that an ordinary girl can snag a beautiful handsome man. Meyer didn’t make that up either.
    I find this amusing because in 50 years I’ve seen lots of people who Don’t Get It–whether it’s Harry Potter, James Bond, or the Left Behind books–try to figure out, often at great length, why anyone would read That Crap (or alternatively pick them over better writers in the same genre). Not that it isn’t fun to do so, but it seems to be an eternal pattern (I’ve had the same reaction to more than a few books myself).

  47. Nomie says:

    Aw, don’t hate on the Vampire Diaries. L.J. Smith is a classic writer in the teen vampire oeuvre – read Daughters of Darkness from the Night World series for Twilight done right. The heroine in that has actual character traits! And kicks her soulmate in the shin!

  48. Merrie says:

    I hated the books. Hated ’em, hated ’em, hated ’em. I was so worried that everyone else found them to be wonderful. Thank you for restoring my faith in humanity and the literary world.

  49. badenbaden says:

    I’ve read them, but begrudgingly and for several reasons (I work in YA publishing and felt I had to, and I mentor teen girls and they coerced me!).

    Here’s what’s amusing to me about it, and honestly, party why I don’t take them that seriously: the teen girls love them because Bella gets to be intimate with a boy without all the messiness of sex, and that makes teen and tween girls feel safe. She’s a terrible character, for sure, and they’re awfully written and painfully boring at times – but you should hear my teens talk about them. One of them, who is otherwise completely intelligent and feminist, starting telling me how Edward has shown her what true love is and that not all boys are jerks like the ones in her school are.

    I also like to use the books as teaching moments (lame!). When my fabulous mentee told me that Jacob is the greatest male character ever, I said point blank “Even though he sexually assaulted Bella?” and she was stunned, and admitted she hadn’t ever thought of his actions that way, and we had a nice talk about it.

    So, meh. They’re crap books, and I hate the messages they send (they’re so far from feminist, it’s laughable that some of you think they are – and I can say that without even mentioning the sex/lack of sex in them, for reals), but ultimately I think they’ll just be a blip. I envision Harry Potter being read for decades to come, but these won’t.

  50. Enid Rollins says:

    Check out this comment on the RSS feed (“The Twighlight Backslash is Warranted”):





    gtg, love you edward


    If you’re going to defend a book you like, do it intelligently. Edward is fictional. Maybe I can hope that person was just trolling for derogatory comments, but seeing how the Interwebs has been flooded, I think it is from a real human being who really thinks Edward is real. Which is very, very sad.

    Still, the Twilight critics are getting a “holier than thou” ‘tude. Seriously, some of them are getting CRAZY. They seem more OBSESSED about Twilight than the Twilight fans!

  51. Amber Tan says:

    Bless your heart, ihatewheat. FWIW, I tried to read a couple paragraphs of ‘Twilight’ while browsing for holiday gifts and found the text unbearable. Thanks for taking one for the team!

    “You, missy, are no Emily Bronte. You are not even Emily Bronte’s barely literate maid.”

    I just had to see that again. You certainly have a way with words, BT. 🙂

  52. y says:

    why are you people so against twilight. sure it`s no masterpiece (god, no!) but it`s a book after all. and you start reading a bad book then you move on to a better one until you learn to appreciate what`s good and what`s not.
    i read all three books and i found them..plain. the kind of books that you read when you are tired and you just want to relax you`re brain.
    there are so many great things to discuss and i`m so bored and annoyed of always having to read about this mediocre book (yes, it`s not horrid, it`s not awful, it`s just mediocre)…i don`t even know who`s worse : the crazy fans or you people that just love to hate this silly book.

    apart from that i love your blog.makes me smile even in the most dreadful days(excuse my spelling and grammar but english is not my native language)

  53. Stacey says:

    A sixteen year old I know actually told me, “whatever, vampires are just misunderstood!!” I answered with, “also, entirely fictional!”

  54. Michelle says:

    Oh yes, Twilight is the worst anti-feminist poorly written book about a lovesick girl who thinks only of her boyfriend. I am so sick of people finding fault with Twilight. Sure, Meyer is NOT the best writer–I cringe when I think of her writing style, its so elementary. But she has managed to create a unique world with a unique take on the vampire mythos. Bella could be seen as a damsel in distress, but hey, some girls are like her– klutzy and awkward, even plain. That’s realistic. All female characers can’t be Amazon warriors. She at least takes care of her father and her mother. She might lie to them like most teens, but at least she cares.
    As for Edward, I think girls and women find him appealing because he shows restraint towards his girlfriend (and human beings in general), he is a gentleman, and he is very protective–i.e. something young girls and women like in a man. I’m not saying he’s perfect. But at least he upholds the chivalric persona, and young girls can at least have hope that there are kind, loving, respectful men out there like him. Above all, Twilight is a love story and is romantic, and its not a trashy romance novel.
    Besides, what girl doesn’t want to date the hottest guy in school, have him fully devoted to her for life? Twilight is not boring, it is not mediocre in the fact that the characters draw the reader in. I’m not a fan of books that are set in the modern world, I like fantasy, historical, just so there are no cell phones, computers, etc. I wasn’t keen on getting into the modern saga, but I do enjoy vampire dramas, so I started reading. When Edward seemingly “hates” Bella in the beginning, and he’s being rude and covering his nose when she’s around, it took me back to my middle school days where boys called me ugly and bullied me so I didn’t have any self-esteem. That was what hooked me–I could visualize the same thing Bella was experiencing. I know that sounds somewhat masochistic, but I could relate.
    I also like the unique take on the vampire mythos, and the fact that there is Native American lore woven in. I am not a crazy fan; I see enough of that bizarre stuff at the con I go to each year. I am 33 with a husband and child, and interested in YA because I would like to write in that genre.

  55. BlueHour says:

    I read Twilight and while it’s never going to qualify as great literature, it’s not the huuuge anti-feminist tract that people complain it is. I read romance novels and Stephenie Meyer looks like Gloria Steinem compared to some of this stuff. I also agree with Laura and Kelly in that it was sort of refreshing to read a book where the characters make a pledge to not have sex and stick to it. I don’t see anything particularly anti-feminist about it; goes to the central message of feminism = choice and quite frankly, I’m tired of reading YA books where sex is something that’s passed out like party favours, or the character thinks that being abstinent makes her some type of loser (read any Meg Cabot book). As for the Bella’s life revolves around Edward, the character is no better or worse than any number of teenagers I know, whose lives seem to revolve around their significant other, and despite Edward’s controlling ways, I don’t see the abusive relationship. The big question is whether Edward negatively impacts Bella’s life or her ability to function, and he doesn’t really. He’s on the controlling side, but there’s not that much to control. Bella seemed pretty rootless to begin with, and she just attached herself like a a barnacle to Edward. Plus it seems like it’s pretty much impossible to write a vampire/human relationship that isn’t abusive in some way. I started watching Buffy recently and when I saw Buffy/Angel and later Buffy/Spike, I remember going: “This is supposed to be the super feminist empowering show? Why does Buffy keep going for guys who (literally and metaphorically) beat the $h&% out of her? Why didn’t she like the nice, human guy who she could beat up?” Men blame it on the perversity of women, and you can’t help but wonder sometimes. The Buffy fandom is full of fanfics where Angel or Spike rescue Buffy from rapist!Riley, abuser!Riley or plain boring!Riley. There seems to be some weird fascination with dangerous Alphas

  56. Kristin says:

    Forgive me but I do not recall the sexual assault scene with Jacob/Bella. I am not saying it didn’t happen just trying to remember it. One more reason to hate the books …

  57. totsuwa says:

    I saw a 40 year old mom dressed like Victoria yesterday. I thought “Hey, look at that outfit. She’s got to be a fan-girl. And then she turned around…OMG she has more wrinkles than I do.” My daughter couldn’t finish the first book. She didn’t like Bella’s “whinyness”. I guess I don’t have a typical 17 year old.

  58. gnob says:

    I read it out of curiosity but couldn’t get past the second chapter. Twilight breaks every rule of good writing. How did it get published? I have a theory:

    I read somewhere that the manuscript was read by a publisher WHILE SHE WAS ON A PLANE. I don’t know about you, but I’ll read anything on a plane. So I reckon the publisher made it through the drivel and got to the “romance” parts and realized she could foist this on to vacuous fan-girls.

    Why did it sell so many copies? I have another theory:

    Girls saw the film, fancied Rob Wotsisname, decided the film was brilliant, and bought the books to read more about their new idol.

  59. Teen says:

    I’m 17, and I like Twilight.
    I admit there are some pretty crap aspects to it, but I’m a sucker for romance, and vampires, so it was the perfectish combination.
    However, I’m not one of those psycho fangirls that seem to be convinced that Edward iz guna find dem and totez marry dem and iz so hot nd sparklehh, and that Bella and Edward are sOoOoOoo kute togetha.
    Their relationship is pretty disturbing, actually. Ah well.

    Anyone, please consider the non-psycho teenagers that like Twilight, and don’t assume we’re all fan-shirt-wearing, illiterate, gRaMmArLeSs freaks 🙂

  60. Anonymous says:

    If anyone likes paranormal fiction/ tales of vampires and werewolves, try Kresley Cole. She is awesome-ly funny and feminist(ic?) and clever. Love her Immortals After Dark series.

  61. Anonymous says:

    As opposed to Twilight, which is basically a pile of twaddle. SVH ghostwriters did a more exciting job of penning a vampire tale than Stephanie Meyers.

  62. Scoot says:

    God, Twitlight is a terrible book. I read it to get my friend off my case… Then she bought me the other books for Christmas. Needless to say, I wasn’t happy. Good to know others hated this trash as much as me!

  63. Anonymous says:

    Really?! What did anyone expect from a human and vampire relationship? Normality? I enjoyed the books for the entertainment they proved. They took me away from my crazy world for a few hours a day. My library at home consists of Anne Rice, Stephen King, Elisabeth Kostova, Bram Stoker and much more. The fact that people say we should guard our kids from this ” garbage” is just wrong. Movies, TV, INTERNET, school, friends, life in general will expose MORE to our kids than reading a YA series. You can’t guard or shelter them, it will only make them want to seek out what YOU deem wrong. It’s a book. Nothing more or nothing less. Let them read it.

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