[Cover courtesy of The Closet]
Steven: Oh noes! Cara is moving to London!
Jessica: Why don’t you marry her? That way she won’t have to move.
Steven: What a great idea! Jess, your ideas always work, so I will do it!
Steven: Cara, will you marry me?
Cara: Marriage! That means my own apartment, I can have parites when I want and stay up as late as I want! Why yes Steven!
Lila: Cara, we are throwing you a bridal shower. Any excuse to throw a party at my house. My housekeeper gets bored so I have to give her stuff do do.
Amy: Here, I got you a sexy negligeee!
Cara: Gulp. Oh yea, I guess if we are married, I have to have sex with Steven. I had not thought of that until just now.
Jessica: Here! I got you dishes!
Cara: Gulp. Oh yea, I guess if I get married I have to have responsibilities and do housework. I hadn’t thought of that until now.
Steven: Whoa is me. I just got into a the pre-law program at college but I can’t do it because I have to get a part time job to support Cara and our shitty apartment. I really think this marriage is a bad idea but I’m just not going to say anything.
Cara: Yikes. I’m afraid to get married because I’m young and it is pretty much a felony so I am just not going to say anything.
Jessica and Elizabeth: We are going to do something we never do: go to our parents when we need help.
[The Wakefield fam stop the wedding just in time for Cara to get cold feet at the altar.]
Cara: Apparently, I do have to move to London because my character is probably too boring for this series.
Jessica: I am a sociopath devoid of all human empathy so I’m actually not that sad that my supposed best friend is moving.
Elizabeth: I am awesome because I totally know what’s right for everyone.
Steven: I’m a massive tool.