“Oh Julian, I feel the same way,” Caitlin replied, full of love. “I wish I could take this moment and wrap it up and keep it forever.”
Just to recap: Caitlin started college and met Julian, who secretly hatched a plan with Caitlin’s roommate Louise to break up Jed and Caitlin to make Caitlin miserable. Louise’s motive was because Caitlin was more popular than her, and Julian ‘s motive was to get revenge on Caitlin because when they were kids, Caitlin was in his poor mining town to give out presents and she cried when he tried to touch her velvet coat. And he’s been jerking off to this memory for like 15 years.Caitlin was jealous of Jed maybe dating someone in Montana, and Julian swooped in and wooed Caitlin.
Caitlin is back at college and in a sorority, because of course in Francine’s world, if you are not in a sorority you might as well kill yourself. She is organizing a bit for the school’s talent show, because of course she has experience organizing male beauty pageant fundraisers. She makes fraternity brothers dress up in tutus and dance to Swan Lake. Which embodies my #1 pet peeve: Males dressing in drag, acting femme or gay for comedy. Ugh.
Ok, so perhaps I feel a little bad for Caitlin because the people she thinks are her friends secretly hate her. She may even be having a worse freshman year than I did, which included Friday nights alone binge eating and watching William Shakespeare’s Romeo and Juliet on a loop. Also? Julian’s revenge plan on Caitlin is the most complicated thing ever. His plan includes:
- Make Caitlin break up with Jed
- Make Caitlin fall in love with him
- Give up a job in Boston for the summer for a medical internship at Harvard
- Convince Caitlin to apply for the job he gave up and make sure she gets it
- Convince her to move to Boston
- Convince her to live with him in Boston
- Convince Caitlin to sleep with him
- Dump her ass!
Because we all know that once a woman sleeps with a man she is a dirty lady whore. Caitlin will be ruined forever! Bwahahaha! Also, there are a lot of what-ifs in this plan. Really Julian? Really? Why doesn’t he just sleep with her at college? The guy is a senior and has his own apartment. You mean to tell me they do nothing but snuggle? Come on, this a private liberal arts school in the 1980s. I’m surprised they are not doing lines off each other’s asses. In fact, all of Caitlin and Julian’s dates are ridiculous. They have picnics in the park with brie cheese and feed each other strawberries. He also makes her clam linguine for dinner and plays Grieg on the cd player. What college senior does that?
Oh yea, Caitlin goes home for a bit in the summer before shacking up with Julian in Boston to confront Nicole and Colin, who are two con artists trying to exploit Caitlin’s grandmother and her father and steal their money. This has been built up for like six books, but here Caitlin confronts them and they skip town. Yea, a privileged eighteen year old is not match for two experienced con artists.
I don’t have to tell you that Jed catches on to Julian’s plan and confronts them both. Which I assume is what is depicted on the cover. Caitlin stands by passively while Jed and his jean tuxedo faces off with Bruce Patman wannabe Jed. She of course can’t assert herself in this situation; why, she’s only a woman of course! By this time Julian has actually fallen in love with Caitlin despite his plans but of course, because Caitlin is so beautiful and rich and luminous. Caitlin goes back to Jed and they vow to never be separated again. Except until the next trilogy.
There was not a whole lot of horse riding in this one. Bummer.