Continuing on with our favorite crooked-bicuspid blonde.
BLACKMAILED BY TAFFY SINCLAIR
In this one, Jana gets blackmailed by Taffy. I know right? Totally unexpected. Jana finds Wiggins’ wallet in the girl’s room and Taffy sees her. She makes Jana do her homework for her and then even sit with her in the cafeteria and walk around with her. In a sick way to maybe make Jana her friend. Turns out Mona Vaughn stole the money to buy a new sweater so maybe Taffy would want to be her friend. Everybody wants something they can’t have! Jana is also angsty about Randy Kirwan who, if that’s him on this cover, I am really disappointed.
In other news, Jana’s deadbeat alcoholic father needs money and I don’t know why Jana’s mother feels obligated to give it to him? He also tells her that he may need to move in with him, and again, not sure why Jana’s mother allows it. At the last minute he finds a job and doesn’t come, and Jana is disappointed. Boo hoo. I just had a thought. Wouldn’t it be awesome if Jana’s deadbeat Dad was also Kristy Thomas’ deadbeat Dad and he had two families going? They both live in Connecticut. Hmmmm…
TAFFY SINCLAIR AND THE MELANIE MAKEOVER
Whoa. Ten times of awesomeness. Definitely on my top ten of all time. Firstly, the cover. I thought Melanie was sooooo gorgeous. Not sure if you can see it well. She has her hair in that style where you pull back the sides, then push it forward a bit, so it’s kind of puffy. I always had really thin hair, so I could never do it. Plus, her dress is the kind with the tight bodice and the layered, flared skirt. I HAD to get one like it for my sixth-grade graduation. Except mine had a bolero jacket to go with it. Hot. Taffy actually not looking all that.
Ok, so Melanie has lost some weight, and of course that means she can now be obsessed with boys and clothes. And she starts hanging with Taffy, because Taff knows those things, and there’s tension and of course Jana and crew are kind of jealous. But, newsflash! The local department store will be offering modeling classes for pre-teen girls. Wow! Way to raise self-esteem! Jana doesn’t think her mom can afford it, but her mom is all, you should do it, it will be great for you! Which, if it were my mom, I would be insulted. It is taught by Laura McLeod, world-famous model, and she teaches the girls how to frame themselves in the doorway, how to walk into a room, and how to do jumping jacks for exercise. Uh, I’d want my money back!
Melanie and Taffy strut their stuff in their fancy dresses in school and Jana is all jealous that Randy will find them more glamorous than her. Shut up, Jana. Taffy then claims she knows “model’s tricks” to get thin and proceeds to stuff her face during lunch in front of Jana while the gang eats carrot sticks and hard-boiled eggs. Jana catches them barfing the bathroom. Oh Taffy…just no. Finally she tells someone what Taffy and Melanie are doing, and Taffy gets in trouble. Melanie comes to her senses and dumps Taffy’s ass. Although that was shitty of Taffy, did she know better? And really, she just wanted to keep Melanie as a friend.
Meanwhile, the Fab Five decide to do a charity case on poor ugly Mona Vaughn, and do her hair for her. Randy sees what a caring person Jana is and admits to Jana that he was afraid she would become too glamorous after going to modeling school and not have time for him. Excuse me, but..BWAHAHAHAHA. And when he sees that Jana is reaching out to Mona, he sees what a caring person she is and Jana is “so happy I thought I’d die”. So Jana makes it all about her and not Mona. What a little brat.
At the last modeling class, Laura McLeod does a big speech about inner beauty. Too little too late, Laura. If it were about inner beauty, you’d be out of a job.