Worst YA Boys, Pt. 1

To refresh your memory, the “best” YA boy toys are here and here. But of course, doing the worst ones are way more fun.

10. John Pfeiffer, Sweet Valley High: He went from being your friendly Oracle news reporter to a mad rapist. All because he was scorned by his ex-girlfriend. And we all know you don’t fuck with Lila Fowler. Who would play him?

Zabka, obviously.

9. Lenny from the Linda books, as in, My Heart Belongs to That Boy. Break up and made-up almost as much as Liz and Todd, However, his bad boy image didn’t make up for all his whining and neediness. Who would play him?

Jared Leto, the Jordan Catalano years.

8. Chad from Fall Into Darkness. Yea, so he kind of likes to murder girls that scorn him. Which, is like a lot of Christopher Pike male characters, but he was the one that was mostly all evil. Whop would play him?

Jonathan Brandis, duh.

7. Presley Travis from Sunset Island. We get, you’re Southern. And flirty. And named after Elvis, because you were born to rock. Also, he feeds Sam’s ego, which is annoying. And then he cheats on her with Emma. And he’s no Billy Sampson. I also will never forgive him for wearing bike shorts and a neon green tank top. Who would play him?

The Nelson twins would share the roll.*

6. Logan Bruno, The Baby-sitters Club. More Southern annoyingness! Maybe it’s how is accent is spelled phonetically, not that he is actually Southern. I could never really understand out what the big deal was about him. And then he tried to control Mary Anne’s life. And seriously, would a 13 year old boy really want to belong to a baby-sitting club? Who would play him”

Zefron! Don’t hate!**

Top 5 coming soon…..

*I have to share that in seventh grade I was BEYOND obsessed with the Nelson twins. It was almost clinical. I listened to the After the Rain cassette about a thousand times. I had a huge poster of them that I would stare at before I went to bed. [hides in shame]. Between them and Sebastian Bach and all the other hair metal guys in mnakeup, I was really into men that looked like women. Hmmm. Not sure what that means.

**This also made me think that Troy and Gabriella are kind of like Elizabeth and Todd. She’s the brainy studious one, he’s the tool on the basketball team. Quarrels and misunderstandings are almost central to their relationship. Does that make Sharpay Jessica? If you have no idea who these people are, you’re obviously a mature adult who doesn’t watch made for cable Disney Channel movies.

37 thoughts on “Worst YA Boys, Pt. 1

  1. nancy says:

    I have to agree with Wendy… I laughed when I saw Zac for Logan, there couldn’t be a more perfect choice.

    Also why would we hate on him? He’s a slammin hottie. Heck, I don’t feel guilty about it at all, but then he’s only a year younger than me. However, for those of you feeling a flush of shame at the quivering in your loins, he’s 21 so don’t panic.

    I miss Jared Leto! Where has he gone?

  2. Jan says:

    I also adored Sebastian Bach, Bret Michaels and Joe Elliott of Def Leppard. I’d say Joe looks the most manly.

  3. Anonymous says:

    Jessica is TOTALLY Sharpay!

    She should have played Liz and Jess in the tv show.
    It woulda made the show that much better.

  4. bookharlot says:

    My first concert was Nelson! I was in 6th grade and my poor parents took me…My mom spent most of the concert in the bathroom with my 4th grade sister because the music was too loud, and my dad loved the pyrotechnics.

  5. freakapotimus says:

    I had a huge Nelson poster on the back of my bedroom door. I feel like it was the exact pose you posted above. *shame*

    Fall into Darkness aired when I was a freshman in college. I taped it on the VCR and sometime after that my roommate taped over it, I think with General Hospital.

  6. Magpie says:

    I liked Logan at first, but then I remember him seeming kind of angry in the later books. Then again, I definitely lost my love of the BSC in general after about #30.

    I totally love Sebastian Bach’s character in Gilmore Girls.

  7. ihatewheat says:

    Bookharlot, I am beyond jealous that you saw them live. Did they wear sprakly sequin jackets with no shirt underneath? The poster I had matthew was wearing spandex pants and a cropped bolero jacket.

    omg, check out teh hotness: a lacy corset and pink floral jacket? I miss the 90s.

  8. Robyn says:

    Wait, when did Presley cheat on Sam with Emma? I don’t know if I remember that from Sunset Island. In which deliciously cheesy book is that in?

    And Jan, I too love Sebastion Bach. Then, now forever. He played himself on an episode of the Trailer Park boys and then I loved him a little more…

  9. ILoveJonathanBrandis says:

    Sad note, but Jonathan Brandis committed suicide in 2004 I think. It was a dark period of my life, I still have my 1994 (or was it 1995) Jonathan Brandis wall calendar, circa the SeaQuest years. 😦

  10. annakelly says:

    To be fair, Gabriella doesn’t have any of Liz’s meddling tendencies or her doormattiness or her “journalistic integrity” or her general air of condensation … God I hate Liz!

    (I love you, Zac!)

  11. Maybe I'll Catch Fire says:

    I look at that picture of the Nelson twins and keep thinking how they could have done a better job in the SVH tv show…

  12. The Kuus says:

    I’d like to add Stefan from The Vampite Diaries to the worst YA males list. Ok, so maybe he never killed or raped anyone, but he did spend his whole relationship with Elena whining about his first love, to the point that dating him seemed to me to be a fate worse than death (and undeath, which seemed kinda cool). Really, shouldn’t guys grow out of that whole spend each relationship angsting about the last one phase in about 300 years or so?

    Who would play him? Hmm, maybe that guy who played the silent teenage boy in Little Miss Sunshine. That about fits.

  13. Anne says:

    Anyone else find it creepy in HSM when Sharpay and her brother start singing “What I’ve been looking for”? Incest much? It’s like Jessica and Steven doing a duet at the school musical, and Elizabeth and Todd stealing the spotlight? Hmmm… maybe they missed a plotline.

    HSM is sooo SVH… oh you tried to prevent me from going out with this person because they’re smart/a jock? It’s okay, we’ll still be friends… after all, I’m a Wakefield, everything worked out right in the end.

    Obviously I am very mature.

  14. Tannaqui says:

    Yay! You did the bad boys post like I suggested!

    Zefron as Logan, perfection! Though he’d be prettier than Mary-Ann, to be honest.

    Sigh, Joardan Catalano…..

    I loved Jonathan Brandis. (And still do) God, I tried to track down a copy of Ladybugs recently, but to no avail. I was sad – on many levels.

  15. Tannaqui says:

    Also, Jonathan Brandis and Chuck Norris and Winne Cooper in Sidekicks……there are no words. Pop culture explosion.

    And, any day I get to see Zabka, is a good day.

  16. Magpie says:

    Is Jonathan Brandis the guy who was in “The Neverending Story II”?? I had no idea he had died. That’s really sad! 😦

  17. kimmay says:

    Pres cheated on Sam in the Sunset on the Road book. She was cheating on him with Johnny Angel.

    Maybe I’ll Catch Fire, don’t feel bad I thin Zac is hot and I am 27. I liked him when I saw Hairspray.

  18. "Kitten" Whitman says:

    Luuurved Zefron as Logan Bruno, spot on. But Zabka seems like more of a dumb jockish Kirk “the Jerk” Anderson than John Pfieffer to me. What about the dude with the overbite from 90210?

  19. Clubx says:

    Ihatewheat, don’t feel bad. I loved Sebastian Bach so much (and still do, actually) that I got a “Youth Gone Wild” tattoo just like his. Always loved the “pretty” men. My husband, thankfully, is not one of them. πŸ™‚

  20. Fraser Sherman says:

    I had one of those generation gap moments when I discovered all three of my twentysomething coworkers had crushed on Jonathan Brandis and had the identical poster of him.

  21. bookharlot says:

    ihatewheat, YES! And the spandex pants. Oh my lord. And the women in the audience taking off their underwear and throwing it at them…it traumatized my poor little 11 year old self.

  22. Deathycat says:

    “Between them and Sebastian Bach and all the other hair metal guys in mnakeup, I was really into men that looked like women. Hmmm. Not sure what that means.”

    After being obsessed with anime for the majority of my teenage years, I love a man that looks girly without being a transvestite. ^_^ I don’t know what it means either but know you’re not alone.

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