Single White Female
Saved By the Bell group mentality
Donald Trump Hair
She’s Not What She Seems is Evil Twin lite. The Val’ is putting on Macbeth as their school production. Thankfully, they actually reference the time 90 books ago when Bill and Jessica were in Splendor in the Grass. Jessica is obsessed with playing Lady Mac and doesn’t shut up about it. Of course she gets it and gets so into it and herself and her friends start getting annoyyed. [Let’s stop here a second and say Shakespeare is hard to pull off for seasoned actors, you really think this stoopid lot can do it?] It takes this to get her friends to hate Jessica?
Paula is the new gal in town, and immediately suctions herself to Jessica’s ass. She becomes her own personal obsessed fan, and trails her and helps her prepair for the part. Eventually everyone hangs out with Paula because she tells them her mom is dead and her Dad beats her. Because having a non-nuclear family in Sweet Valley is the equivalent to having syphilis. You can imagine how much Liz was foaming at the mouth about a new project. Jessica starts to suspect that Paula is…get ready for it…not what she seems! And that she is trying to undermine Jessica. The gang doesn’t believe her and thinks Jessica is jealous.
Finally, just when you think Paula is going to do something like, I don’t know, try to kill Jessica, she goes and makes her miss opening night so she can play Lady Macbeth. And turns out she lied about not having parents. And as using Jessica to be friends with the popular crowd. Eventually everyone finds out and Jessica is reinstated to her elevated status and the homeostasis of Sweet Valley is restored.
- Lila is cast as a witch and is all embarassed and annoyed. Cue the “Lila, you don’t have to act!” comments.
- Winston is cast as the crazy kooky sidekick. Shocker!
- Liz is of course in charge of the publicity committee, and they act like this play is fucking summer stock. It’s the headline of the Sweet Valley News, and even LA magazine does a review! Wtf, I am sure people in LA care about a high school play.
- After every rehearsal, the Scooby gang goes to the DB and get quadrouple orders of onion rings. Per person. Yeeks. Like all those cheerleaders would eat that.
- The whole gang hangs out together all the time in this one- Lila, Amy, Liz, Annie, Robin, Todd- uh, I thought Liz hated those people? Also, it annoys to no end me that Annie and Robin hang out with this group- the same group that mocked them and say…drove them to a suicide attempt?
- The SVH teachers are giving less work to cast members and going easy with them on exams. I guess I shouldn’t be surprised. They cancel classes to have an assembly everytime a Wakefield has a bowel movement.