For the love of Johnny Johnson

It’s pretty obvious that most of the men on LHOTP really bring the fug (‘cept Manly, of course) but Johnny Johnson is so off the grid on the fug. I feel like the plot of For the Love of Johnny Johnson had been repeated about a gazillion times before. Laura falls for a guy, who falls for Mary. Laura gets pissed and Pa and she have a talk, and all is well. Except Laura always did like the older guys. JJ is about 14 and Laura is about, I don’t know, 9? Creepy much? Jason, the scientist guy, was also about 16 when she was about 10 and they go off holding hands in the woods. Creepy!

JJ not only has a face only a mother can love, he has a ridiculous red wig thing on, a stupid hat, and really really really tight overalls. Oy. Who the hell does the casting on this show? Some of the guys are so fug they make Mr. Edwards look like Javier Bardem.

So Laura asks Pa for advice on how to get a guy, and he tells her sexist stuff like “make sure you cook him good food” and basically tells Laura that he originally didn’t have a thing for Caroline, but when she asked him out, he was all what the hell, I’ll get a good meal out of the date. Noyce.

Not particular to this episode, but I have some serious gripes with Casa Ingalls. I know Charles built the place himself with much money, but for god’s sake, would it have killed him to build a wall? Ma and Pa’s bed is basically about three inches from where Ma guts chickens in the kitchen, and the loft is right upstairs. And Ma and Pa ALWAYS talk about issues with the girls when the fricking loft is right above them as if they couldn’t hear! And what about when they want to get a little frisky?

And there is no place to sit except the kitchen table. I am sure Pa could have whipped up an Adironack chair since he is amazing at everything else.

And other thing- the girls and their fucking blue floral dresses that they wear to church or whenever anything fancy comes up. Caroline, seriously, take some time out from your pie baking and cutting off your leg to make them more than one fancy dress.

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24 thoughts on “For the love of Johnny Johnson

  1. LongWinter says:

    OMG – I was watching the season 1 dvds on the weekend, so I just saw this one. This is, like, episode 6.

    You know what was the creepiest? When Pa was consoling Laura after Johnny Johnson put Mary’s name on the sweetheart tree and he says: “Someday, you’ll have plenty of beaux(s?), sweet thing.” I don’t know about calling a daughter “sweet thing”. Pa normally doesn’t go into that territory.

  2. coquelicot says:

    Forget about the loft being right upstairs…for the longest time, Carrie slept in the same room as Ma and Pa! And they conceived 2 more children (Charles Jr. and Grace) with her right there! I have a hard time getting frisky with DH with a baby being in the same HOUSE, forget the same room!

  3. Amber Tan says:

    This: “Some of the guys are so fug they make Mr. Edwards look like Javier Bardem.”

    and this:

    “take some time out from your pie baking and cutting off your leg to make them more than one fancy dress.”

    …are pure gold. Well done, ihatewheat!:)

    “Forget about the loft being right upstairs…for the longest time, Carrie slept in the same room as Ma and Pa! And they conceived 2 more children (Charles Jr. and Grace) with her right there!”

    For reals, coquelicot! Even when I was reading the books as an 8-year old, I was amazed that sleeping in the same room with their kids never seemed to stop Ma and Pa from getting jiggy. Although, FTR, Charles, Jr. was totes fictitious. The Ingalls had four daughters, all of whom were conceived in one room cabins. No McMansions on the prairie! 😉

  4. ihatewheat says:

    I’ll bet Pa snuck home from the mill, put Carrie in the outhouse, and had some afternoon delight with Caroline.

    And I forgot about John Jr. ‘Member when Mary visited him at college? And he totally screwed her over? Noyce!

    • Said says:

      Replying to an old entry here, but I wouldn’t say that it’s a mitaeksn verb tense, not really. To me, it seems obvious that Laura is frantically talking to herself while she’s looking for Grace, trying, in that way we do, to keep herself steady by the sound of her own voice. And she’s reflecting to herself then that she’s looked both east and south on the prairie and couldn’t find her. Like wandering through the house looking for a lost set of keys. I already looked there, they weren’t there, maybe they’re over here somewhere? Where did they go? It’s not a narration of the event, just a personal monologue.The quotation marks around the passage are what make it seem that way to me. She’s either speaking the words or thinking them, not narrating. And with the above in mind, it doesn’t seem so much like the verb tense was a mistake.To me, the bit that makes things come alive in that first paragraph is the way the internal monologue gives way instantly to another call for her sister. She may be rambling out loud to keep herself steady, but she’s not letting that panic overwhelm her and make her useless. She’s scared, and she’s still looking.

  5. tygre says:

    Nah, there really was a Charles, Jr. — they called him Freddy. He wasn’t mentioned in the books (which actually aren’t 100% true, they are sort of in that gray area between biography and fiction) but he did exist. He only lived for 9 months.

    I am sort of a LIW geek, though. I never much cared for the TV show but I’ve been to all of the sites and have read tons on non-fiction on LIW and her family/friends.

  6. BadKat says:

    I have always thought that the Ingalls house had a lot more privacy than most farm houses in that era. We are not so far removed from family communal beds and all…
    Sorry, my history/social science education is making a quick appearance today.

    Do you remember the one where they think they are getting an inheritance and they rack up a HUGE bill at the Olsen’s store buying fancy dresses? Only to find out the inheritance money is really in Confederate bills?? They could never legitimately wear schmancy dresses after that!

  7. Amber Tan says:

    “I’ll bet Pa snuck home from the mill, put Carrie in the outhouse, and had some afternoon delight with Caroline.”

    BWAH!!! You baaaad, ihatewheat! 😉

    “Nah, there really was a Charles, Jr. — they called him Freddy. He wasn’t mentioned in the books (which actually aren’t 100% true, they are sort of in that gray area between biography and fiction) but he did exist. He only lived for 9 months.”

    WOW! Many thanks for this nugget of info, tygre! I had never heard about Freddy. I realized that the books blurred the line between fiction/ non-fiction but wasn’t aware of the existence of the Ingalls’ infant son. Hmmm…now I’m starting to wonder if the bit about Laura and Manly’s baby son dying a week after birth in “The First Four Years” really happened.

    So. What other dirt ya got? Spill! Please! 🙂

    “We are not so far removed from family communal beds and all…”

    Good point, BadKat. That history/social science education sure comes in handy. 🙂

  8. tygre says:

    Yes, Laura and Almanzo did have an infant son that died. They only had 1 surviving child, their daughter Rose Wilder Lane. Of the four children in the Ingalls family, only Laura had a child: Mary never married (in those days, if you were blind, you didn’t marry pretty much — Mary attended college for 6 or 7 years then came back to De Smet and stayed with Ma and Pa til she died), Carrie and Grace married later in life to men who had kids of their own. Some people theorize there was some genetic trait that prevented boys in the Ingalls family from surviving, but no one knows. Much higher infant mortality in those days.

    If you want to get into a megadebate, argue about who really wrote the books — Laura or Rose 🙂 The book Ghost in the Little House is a really interesting read on that subject.

  9. Heidi says:

    “…take some time out from your pie baking and cutting off your leg to make them more than one fancy dress.”

    Oh, come on. Give the poor woman a break. After all, she had originally bought that pretty blue floral fabric to make herself a new dress but then decided to make Sunday dresses out of it for the girls (excluding poor Carrie, as usual. If I were Carrie, I’d have a complex…)

    Don’t you remember Laura made up that lengthy but lovely essay about her dear Ma and the dresses when really all she wrote was a couple of short sentences? 😉

  10. ihatewheat says:

    HA! You beat me to it, I totally knew what she wrote as well. I was going to write about that episode soon as one where everyone worships the Ingalls and lets them get away with everything.

  11. Dwanollah says:

    Why do we remember minutae about this sort of crap, huh?!?! :))

    Seriously, if you haven’t made your way over to the TWOP thread, “Ma, Pa, and the Mime that Raped Sylvia,” DO IT! READ IT! READ IT, MISS PEEL!

    Unless, of course… you. can’t. read.

    :))

  12. Amber Tan says:

    Cool — thanks, tygre! It’s always good to get confirmation on these things. And I’ve got GITLH waiting patiently for me at home ever since Dwanollah mentioned it upthread. Weekend treat! 🙂

    “I was going to write about that episode soon as one where everyone worships the Ingalls and lets them get away with everything.”

    Whoa there, ihatewheat! Are you telling me that there’s actually a LHOTP episode that doesn’t have the whole town engaging in Ingalls-ass-kissing? Guess I must have missed that one. 😉

  13. Amber Tan says:

    OMFG! That TWOP thread is LAFFS. They’re even discussing eps, like the stagecoach/ accident/ fire one.

    Thanks for the tip, Dwanollah! 🙂

  14. BadKat says:

    How could anyone ever HATE the Ingalls!?!? :0
    They were so honorable and puritanical…

    That thread is great! I now know I am not the only one who was traumatized by the sight of what the real-life Ingalls family looked like!

  15. Dwanollah says:

    You bet, AT! Any time you need to procrastinate….

    (I’m known as Betsy Ray on the TWOP boards. And yeah, we’re a weeeee bit obsessed with the details of the various eps, I admit!)

  16. Eli says:

    I just got back from spending a week with the ‘rents in the Midwest, whereupon I abused their cable (I don’t have it) to watch twice daily showings of LHOTP. ShowManly doesn’t really hold a candle to RealManly (aka BookManly), who was my second true literary love (right after Gilbert Blythe, who will never be surpassed).

  17. Amber Tan says:

    “Any time you need to procrastinate….:”

    Heh, Dwanollah. ‘Cause I need *more* reasons to proscratinate.

    Speaking of procrastination, I started reading GITLH this weekend and am enjoying it immensely. Fascinating material…RWL was an amazing person and I am in awe of her intelligence and ambition.

    Hey, my house didn’t get cleaned but, since I’m already up to page 139, I’m giving myself a pass on the whole cleaning thing. It’s only fair, right? 😉

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