Welcome to Enid’s pity party.


I actually like the way Enid is depicted here. I like her full (healthy) face and think she looks pretty. Don’t love the hairstyle and the pink/green outfit combo, but you win some and lose some.

I decided to read this one because Enid is so often depicted as Elizabeth’s “yes” girl that I have been lying awake at night wondering what ENID’s hopes and dreams are. Well, the twins have their own chapters from their POV in this one. Enid can’t even get a whole book to herself!

Magically, it is Christmastime again. Not to be mistaken with the MS hoax or the psycho killer Christmases, mind you. Liz is fucking moping around because Todd is going to Vermont for the break. GET OVER IT. Really. She’s like so depressed about it and mopes the entire time. He’ll be gone for about 8 days. Liz, why don’t you cheat on him, that always seems to make you feel better.

So Liz is depressed so Enid of course feels it is her personal duty to be there for Liz and drop everything to make her feel better. Enid gushes how luuuuucky she is to be friends with Liz, because “she was warm and friendly and everyone at school likes her”. Once, when Enid was a raging alcoholic wildchild, she would never DESERVE the friendship of someone like Liz. Enid got high freshman year and drove around with a guy named Brian and they killed a kid. Yet another thinly veiled reason to scare kids off alcohol and drugs.

Oh barf: “Enid didn’t have a boyfriend at the moment. Recently she broke up with Hugh Grayson. It would be fun to go shopping, see movies, and just hang out with Elizabeth. Romance was special, but so was best-friendship.” Seriously, Enid has a really unhealthy obsession with Elizabeth. For her Christmas present, Enid buys her a silk, heart-shaped box. Um.

What else is going on in pathetic Enid’s life: oh yea, her parents are divorced, and her father is coming into to town but her mother is bad mouthing her father to Enid. Enid meets him at his hotel, and realizes he is already drunk before noon. She calls him out on it and tells him his drinking is out of control, he tells her “I remember a time when you enjoyed a drink or two.” BAM! HE WENT THERE!

Also, Enid has been hanging out with Jeffrey French, but it seems all he wants to do is talk about Elizabeth. Elizabeth, being the egomaniac she is, brings cookies to Jeffrey on Xmas Eve, and further torments him so he can still be in love with her. HATE. LIZ. SO. MUCH. Enid’s pissed because she came over to Jeffrey’s in her very special Xmas outfit, which consisted of “a white turtleneck, swingy red skirt, and green headband.” Welcome to third grade, Enid. And her present to Jeffrey, a quart of ice cream (wtf? Please don’t ask.) Enid finally starts to get mad at Elizabeth for always having to be the center of attention and making it all about her.

Furthermore, she sees Jeffrey and Liz together at the Xmas party, so she finally gets some ovaries and gets mad at Liz, and goes of with her friend Brian, a guy from her “wild past”. They get high and drunk at Miller’s point.  Jess meets a guy at the party and five minutes later she drags him to Miller’s point- and she calls people a slut? She sees Enid all sloshed and immediately runs back to the party to gossip about it. When she gets back everyone calls her a fucking idiot for not helping Enid. Hah hah. Also, why in the holy hell are these kids so uptight about alcohol and drugs? It’s one of the most unbelievable aspects of the books.

Enid and Brian go for a joyride and then drive off and Brian flips the car. Luckily, Enid’s father gets there just in time to save them from the exploding car! Plus, he’s cured! He’s going to rehab! Everything is perfect! It’s the miracle of Christmas!

So Jeffrey is suddenly over Liz, he and Liz have a hearty chuckly over their painful breakup, and he realizes that he maybe does like Enid, but Enid actually grows bigger ovaries and decides she doesn’t just want to be Jeffrey’s alternative to Liz. So it ends with their relationship up in the air. Hundred bucks says their realtionship is never mentioned again.

Enid really needs to get a new idenity other than Liz’s best friend. Actually, Enid with a substance abuse problem is waaaayyyy more interesting than Enid the sycophant.

38 thoughts on “Welcome to Enid’s pity party.

  1. Barb says:

    lol, I never read this one. But why is the book called Super Star? Is it another type of a Super Edition? I don’t recall seeing other Super Star books?!

  2. JP says:

    there were five super stars, all of which gave “back story” on supporting characters – Enid, Lila, Bruce, Todd, and … Olivia I think.

  3. Billie Layton says:

    Olivia?! I barely remember Olivia. Why does she get a Super Star book.

    As boring as Enid, Bruce, and Todd can be, at least they are somewhat major characters in the book. But Olivia?! WTF????!!!

  4. Dwanollah says:

    Who is this Brian? I thought Enid was with Junkie GTO George when they hit some little kid…? Of course, I only read this book once about 12 years ago, and the only thing that stuck with me was a Sonja Henie reference. Maybe it’s time to go dig it back out of the SV Book Box of Shame?

    And it’s scary to say this, but Enid’s college backslide into alchydom is WAY more realistic than this!

  5. sweet valley hell says:

    I would think that you would need to be drunk every minute of every day in order to be best friends with Liz. It would be the only way to tolerate her condescending ass. Poor Enid deserves a stiff drink every once in awhile for putting up with Liz.

  6. BadKat says:

    First alcohol, then Liz?
    Ah, replacing one dependency with another. Usually it is church, but I guess Elizabeth Wakefield would do. She is just as preachy.

  7. LucyHoneychurch says:

    I don’t get why alcohol and drugs are so awful, but being a terrible slut is not only okay, but encouraged.

    Something tells me good old Francine didn’t get much play in high school.

  8. Magenta Galaxy says:

    Billie Layton: Olivia’s SuperStar book is about how she tries oh-so-hard to be a normal, boring person, but she is soooo artsy that she just can’t hack wearing velvet dresses and going to snooty parties, so she returns to her normal, artistic ways. You didn’t miss much!

    Also, while Liz was a total bitch in this one and is such a tease to Jeffery, and it made me hate her because of what it did to Enid…Enid should still know you don’t just go after your best friend’s ex. But Liz was still a horrendous bitch. I guess since Todd was only away for about a week instead of the whole summer, she just inappropriately flirted with someone else instead of when they are apart for a month or the summer and she makes out with everyone else.

  9. tinypants says:

    “For her Christmas present, Enid buys her a silk, heart-shaped box”

    OMG, no creepy symbolism there, right? And yet then she goes on to give JF a quart of ice cream… seriously, that’s just weird.

  10. fast times at sweet valley high says:

    “Enid got high freshman year and drove around with a guy named Brian and they killed a kid.”

    For some reason that made me picture Enid and Brian in that PSA where the 2 stoned guys are at a drive-through and either can’t decide what they ordered or don’t have enough money and go speeding off, hitting the kid on the bike. That PSA always made me snicker because of its ridiculousness.

  11. calico drive says:

    okey doke i love that jeff and enid go to this dance and pash and then the enid/jeff realtionship is never mentioned again. but hey, props to Enid, if i had the chance to snag me jeff i would. rebound or not, better than Todd(Punch). go Jess for taking whore time out and telling everyone about Enid being high – doesnt that count? i mean she could have kept whoring and done nothing?!?!

  12. Dwanollah says:

    Between the substance abuse, daddy issues, and repeated hook-ups with her best friend’s ex-boyfriends, Enid needs more therapy than T-Squared can ever hope to give her.

  13. cbj says:

    Doesn’t Jeffy boy come out in a much later book? Budding Lesbians always go for gay guys (Hello, Enid!) Just saying. From a personal perspective.

  14. Amy Slutton says:

    Fast Times at Sweet Valley High! 😀 I haven’t read this one but it’s on my list to buy. I’m not sure I like how Enid looks here, but I think she looks pretty on the cover of #20 Crash Landing.

    I remember being sooo pissed off about Enid as an awkward pre-teen… they were always making her out to be this huge nerd and I felt like there was at least one person in the series I could relate to, and then when they depict her on the covers she is anything but geeky and unattractive! Grrr!!

  15. Amber Tan says:

    “Once, when Enid was a raging alcoholic wildchild, she would never DESERVE the friendship of someone like Liz. ”

    No, but I’d have hung with her. 😉

    “For some reason that made me picture Enid and Brian in that PSA where the 2 stoned guys are at a drive-through and either can’t decide what they ordered or don’t have enough money and go speeding off, hitting the kid on the bike. That PSA always made me snicker because of its ridiculousness.”

    fasttimes at sweet valley high — IIRC this was a skit on Chappelle’s Show. The punch line was “If you’re a 12 year old girl, don’t smoke marijuana and ride your bike.”

    BTW, love your moniker — true inspiration! 🙂 Fast Times in Sweet Valley High needs to be written up under “The best SVH books never written”

  16. zenith says:

    My premature fixation on lesboeroticism was seriously going crazy on this one. I think I was like ten and I was all COME ON DO IT. DO IT. Someone needs to get some wine coolers into Liz. Or maybe just cut to roofies.

  17. Amy Slutton says:

    Fast Times at SVH sounds promising. Who would you bet would be the one to get pregnant and have an abortion?

  18. fast times at sweet valley high says:

    “IIRC this was a skit on Chappelle’s Show.”

    It was also on the Chapelle show (which I love), but it was originally a PSA about how pot messes up your reaction time. Or something like that.

    Hmm..maybe *I* was high when I thought it was for real. 😮 That’s it – better move to the SV Ghetto next door to Tricia Martin’s family!

  19. Cheryl Slade says:

    This one should have been titled “Jessica Gets Something Right For Once”, much as I hate to admit it. Drugs and alcohol still fail to make Enid interesting. I’m sorry, but I didn’t see a single ovary in evidence. Was anyone else waiting for her to wake up, smell the pot smoke, and kick Brian in the stones?

  20. Kat says:

    Just wanted to say I love the site. I nearly fell off my chair when I read your reviews for the Pen Pals – I thought I was the only one who remembered the adventures of Shanon, Amy, Lisa & Palmer.

    Have you ever read the Caitlin series? It was by Francine… I vaguely remember it as SVH meets Mills&Boon starring a raven haired Jessica Wakefield type. Perhaps it appealed to me as a brunette or perhaps it was the dazzling description of her lips, which were ‘upturned at the corners’ so it looked like she was always smiling.

  21. Sarah C. says:

    Oh man the Caitlin series was racy. I remember a scene with Caitlin and some guy outside after a dance (a school dance naturally) and he was touching her and there were “waves of sensation” or something, but the encounter also had coercive elements (thanks, Francine). It was kind of like a kiddie version of those rape fantasy Harlequins: “Mockingly, he pinned her hands above her head and muffled her cries with his sensual lips. Against her will, she melted into him, her lissome body unconsciously molding itself around his rock-hard contours. She was terrified at the rawness of his need; it consumed her like a scorching flame. ” so twisted.

  22. Kat says:

    Oh geebus, really? I don’t remember that about Caitlin – maybe I should revisit. It will probably be an adventure akin to watching Grease as an adult and realising what “the chicks will cream” really means.

  23. Amber Tan says:

    “It was also on the Chapelle show (which I love), but it was originally a PSA about how pot messes up your reaction time. Or something like that.

    Hmm..maybe *I* was high when I thought it was for real. ”

    Hee! 🙂 We have *so* much in common, fast times at sweet valley high! Glad to know I wasn’t hallucinating. 😉

    “Who would you bet would be the one to get pregnant and have an abortion?”

    Amy Slutton, I’d wager on a secondary character that we never here from again. That way St. Liz could condescend to help the poor girl with making her decision. And Liz would organize a dance or fashion show to raise money for the procedure since the pregnant girl will *have* to be poor.

    Because bad things like unplanned pregnancies, drug/ alcohol addiction, and being overweight only happen to poor people in SV. 😉

  24. Jen S says:

    I never read this one but I wish I had! God, Enid, go feel guilty about your damn grandma or something. But, wow, I cannot believe her dad went there. Wow! Haaaarsh on your flesh and blood there, pops.

    I too remember the Caitlin series–she was a rich girl with her best friend Ginny, who was plainer and loved horses. I remember thinking at the time that it was unusual to have such a bitchy girl as the protagonist, but that made it interesting, at least. I remember her long lost dad showing up and her getting in some kind of car accident because she was so upset. And her grandmother was this uptight WASP that was unhealthily obsessed with her granddaughter getting into an Ivy League school.

  25. "Kitten" Whitman says:

    This book has nothing on Lila Fowler’s. And why did we never get a Superstar for Bill Chase? All angsty and pining for Julianne and reading Shakespeare…sigh.
    Also, George was TOTALLY the one who Enid popped all those “bennies” with! Way to go with the continuity, GWs!
    I actually found the Caitlin trilogy on Amazon, and bought all three for the sole purpose of guilty pleasure snarking. I remember one scene in Loving where Caitlin “pulls her hair back from her face in a way that she knew was innocent, yet becoming”. Barf.

    P.S. We should totally write an Eeny Rollins fanfic in which she and Jeffrey do the nasty behind Liz’s back.

  26. Dwanollah says:

    Caitlin is a snatch, and her whole series is totally honked up. I should recap them someplace. Because SVH doesn’t have enough date rape, after all. *eye roll*

  27. NK says:

    Even when I was little, I preferred drunkard Enid to sober Enid. Also, love your lines about gorwing a pair of ovaries. FYI: I wrote a roundup of things mentioned on this site at Racialicious.com today. Please, check it out. Thanks.

  28. NeverReadSVH says:

    I never read SVH, but I am loving this website like you have no idea.

    And to be fair to the SVH crowd – I was pretty uptight about drugs/alcohol in high school.
    Then I came to college…

  29. Merle Shamblin says:

    Hello my name is Merle Dean Shamblin and I would like to be your new friend. I sure could use somebody to chat with. I am a 47 year old long haul truck driver who currently lives in Duncan Oklahoma. Dec 8th 1960 I was born in Fairview Oklahoma. Moved to Caddo and Washita counties where I attended school at Colony Hydro and Weatherford. My parents Malvin and Wanda Shamblin were cotton and peanut farmers. Dad died in 99 from lung cancer. Graduated from SWOSU with a business degree. My two sisters are LaDonna Hubert and Malva Burrahm. Dennis is my brother. I have been a truck driver for 14 years and have driven 2 million paid miles. I have received many safe driving awards over the years. I am single and have never been married. I have a wide range of interests and am pretty much an open book. Currently I drive a 2006 Freightliner for a major carrier. I dont go to Canada very often. I dont have a dedicated route so I run the entire lower 48. I enjoy reading cinema music sports travel etc. I am gay and versatile.

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