So this one really bothered me. I mean, all of them bothered me, but this one had my head spinning.
A.J. is cute, for a SVH boy. His hair needs some layering and less feathering. Also, I was promised that he was a redhead. So I was thinking Prince Harry redhead, so I am let down. Also love the matching bland-colored shirts. Jessica needs a better bra.
So after the Slam Book fiasco was resolved, A.J. Morgan and Jessica are dating. But Jessica is putting on the pretense that she is shy, quiet, and studious…like Liz. Everyone is telling her to be herself, but she knows that A.J. doesn’t like obnoxious borderline cases like the real Jessica, and she wants to keep him. I don’t even know why they are dating, because she acts a fool all the time. She reads him bad poetry and tries to talk about wordly things. They even go to a Save the Whales meeting.
Meanwhile, some rich girl Pamela who goes to a private school is trying to steal A.J. A.J. totally wants to bone her, but is trying not to cheat on Jessica. He enjoys Jessica’s seriousness, but is really torn up because he’s a teenage boy and wants to pork a girl. So he is kind of attracted to Pamela.
Meanwhile Lisette’s (you know, the super classy store in the mall) is having a fashion show contest, and the winner gets a custom-designed wardrobe. How does this help the store? Publicity, I guess? Everyone and their mother kisses Jessica’s ass and tells her she would obvs win this thing (ugh) but she thinks A.J. wouldn’t approve. After an awkward double date with A.J., Jeffrey and Liz, she decides to enter. Jessica, honey, it was probably awkward because Jeff is a closet case, not because of you.
So Pamela chick enters the contest, and tries to trip up Jessica by ruining her outfits. The show was ultimate cheese. Pam rips the back of one of Jess’ dresses, so instead of turning around, Jessica “dances” backwards. Also, she models a denim dress that zippers up the sides (classy) but Pam jams the zippers, so Jess belts the dress with it open on both sides. Gross. Finally, she and Pam have a shrieking fight that the audience overhears, and A.J. realizes that Jess is a firecracker and they live happily ever after. And Jess wins a wardrobe of cheap mall attire.
Okaaaayyyyy, so you think the message here is that you should never compromise who you are to get a boy right? Don’t think so fast. Well, you shouldn’t change yourself if you are already shallow, superficial and slutty. So on the one hand we are getting the message that Jessica should be herself, but on the other hand her “act” of being smart and serious is not going to get the guy. Being a superficial, flirtatious slut is what gets the guy. See the twisted logic? This kills me. It’s like Francine was almost on a roll with sending an important message, but then fucks it up with her deluded superficial bullshit.
Why the hell doesn’t A.J. hear old stories about Jessica? He doesn’t seem to have any friends. They could give him some general-friends like Aaron Dallas and Tom McKay (when he was straight). Also, I don’t really get what is special about him. He seems rather boring. He makes Todd look exciting, and that is saying something. He’s outdoorsy, we’re told, but whatever.
Elizabeth feels bad that Jessica has to pretend and wants her to be her true self. She “misses the scheming, manipulative Jessica”. And I quote. Wha? She really misses the Jessica that steals her boyfriends and calls people fat? I hate the Wakefield family.
Pamela is a total vixen. She lures A.J. to her house- and get this- one of the straps of her sundress slides down. This is the closest we get to talking about sex since the Bruce-Liz-amnesia thing.
Amy Sutton doesn’t enter the fashion show because she thinks she’s too fat. She has to sit on Lila’s lap in the Fiat and Lila complains how much she weighs. Great friends.
When Jessica enters the fashion contest, the salesperson asks her size and Jess is all “size 6, duh”. As if the salesperson is supposed to have read the series.