It’s like when Todd moved to Vermont

I have gotten a large load of new readers, thanks to some linking, but I wanted to say please hang on even if you don’t see postings! I will be traveling for the next two weeks and won’t be posting…but please stay tuned because I will be back! I brought lots of YA books in my suitcase (I am too ashamed to read them on the plane).

First stop is Vegas, and I was thinking how great it would be to have an SVH themed resort/casino. The guest rooms would either have brown walls and a pigsty (the Jessica) or neat with a complimentary tyepwriter (the Elizabeth). If you are a high roller, you can stay in the Patmas Estate room or the Flowler Crest room, complete with servants you can abuse. The restaurants, duh, would be recreations of the Dairi Burger and Casey’s with the Box Tree Cafe as the one you need reservations for. What else? you’d of course have the Beach Disco Nightclub and Kelly’s bar. Every hour on the hour cheerleaders perform at the front lobby and do triple herkies. At thehotel spa, some crazed woman will try to steal your face. I think the hotel would probably have a weight limit to stay there, and there would be a quota of only one person per non-white identity allowed in the hotel at one time. Someone stop me! I’m on a roll!

25 thoughts on “It’s like when Todd moved to Vermont

  1. Tracy says:

    Sweet! I was just in vegas last week, and I would have definantly visited! Hope you weren’t booked for the Monte Carlo (which is where we ALMOST stayed, until we found comparible rooms for $40 less at Planet Hollywood) Have a good trip!

  2. kiwimusume says:

    Hee! But you forgot the Palomar House for the Valley Elite and tons of made-up celebrities that will stay there (cause what celeb wouldn’t want to stay at the Valley Resort?!) And the massive gold statue of the Wakefields in the lobby. And the cheerleaders will do Y-leaps (the name of which will forever make me think of Y-fronts) too.

    Discounts and special services will be given to those with sun-streaked blonde hair and aquamarine eyes. Minorities and unpretty people of any kind will be counselled in their room by Saint Elizabeth herself, absolutely free of charge, complete with complimentary box of tissues and bowl of chicken soup, because she’s nice like that. If you’re a particularly unfortunate person, she may even pat your shoulder.

    And don’t go horseriding or boating cause you’ll get chased by a psycho who wants revenge for being put in jail.

  3. kiwimusume says:

    Though you need to be careful at the Palomar House, cause I think that’s the one where John Pfeiffer threw a firebomb through the window.

  4. Laura says:

    “Discounts and special services will be given to those with sun-streaked blonde hair and aquamarine eyes.”

    LOL @ kiwimusume! Perhaps discounts could also be given to girls with the most dead ex boyfriends. And there should definitely be a room with some kind of Spanish-style tiles (or however they described Casa Wakefield)

  5. LucyLou says:

    What if you have aquamarine eyes and sun-streaked blonde hair BUT you are over the weight limit?

    Hmmmmmm. Can’t… handle…! Chubby peopel can’t also be beautiful!! NOT IN SWEET VALLEY!

  6. Magpie says:

    “At thehotel spa, some crazed woman will try to steal your face.”

    Haha, this made me laugh out loud!

    Maybe you’ll bump into Laney from the Senior Year road trip there… then you’ll end up married in an Elvis chapel 😉

  7. Amber Tan says:

    “I brought lots of YA books in my suitcase (I am too ashamed to read them on the plane).”

    Ah, just cover ’em with brown paper bags, ihatewheat. A Good Friend Who Shall Remain Nameless used to do this with her issues of Martha’s Stewart’s Living magazine on BART.

    “discounts could also be given to girls with the most dead ex boyfriends.”

    Hee, kiwimusume! And to girls who have been almost date-raped by Bruce Patman.

    Have a great time in Vegas, ihatewheat! 🙂

  8. pinktreesloth says:

    The staff would be killing themselves trying to create a new theme for a party or dance on an almost-nightly basis.

  9. Sarah C. says:

    I love this idea. Don’t forget that Ned Wakefield is an architect and Alice is an interior decorator; they could design the place. Olivia Davidson could do beautiful murals for the lobby, and Rosa’s grandmother would keep everything tidy. Project Youth could morph into Gamblers Anonymous and move into the basement. But what would Mr. Collins, Sweet Valley High’s popular strawberry blonde English teacher, do?

  10. ihatewheat says:

    omg you all crack me up. espesh the project youth idea! i’m having more fun here than I imagined…I stayed at the Flamingo over the weekend and it was a little SVH-esque.

    Why was there never a super special in Vegas? Espesh for a BSC book. Kristy could befriend a wayward prostitute, Stacey would meet a sugar daddy, and they would manage to build and run a casino just for kids.

  11. Laura says:

    Well I don’t see why there couldn’t have been a Super Special there…I mean, Watson could have taken the whole lot of them on ANOTHER holiday with his family, or perhaps they could have gone on an improbable school trip there (seriously, we did school trips to museums and swimming pools when I was these girls’ ages.) Mallory could win a small jackpot and try to dye her hair blonde with terrible results…oh wait she already did that. Maybe Jessi could overcome being mistaken for one of the table attendents or something. Is that going too far?

  12. Winnie Egbert says:

    Mr Collins should be there to greet new guests at the door… wrapping his arm around them, guiding them through the hotel’s services, being WAY too overfamiliar with everyone upon arrival.

    There should also be a wave pool JUST for surfing competitions. Guests would be encouraged to enter if they’ve never surfed before but they’re looking for a new identity for themselves.

    kiwisume, I’m pissing myself laughing at the Saint Elizabeth counselling sessions – hee!!

  13. Club X says:

    Hmmm…what about a separate pool just for oh so hilarious hijinx? Every hour on the hour, someone gets pushed in.

    Hope you’re having a great time ihatewheat! We’ll miss you! 🙂

  14. Jen S says:

    There should be a Whistle Stop Cafe where the waitresses are all evil scientist geniuses too. They could bring a string of sugar crystals to the table instead of Equal packets for your coffee.

  15. Team Jessica says:

    this is my new favorite blog EVER. I am so glad to discover I am not the only SVH obsessed twenty-something reader who hides her YA books on planes! Tip: book covers are GREAT. And wear headphones so no one asks what you’re reading. Yup – I’m THAT obsessed.

  16. Ashleyy says:

    Hmm,….the hotel could have car rentals, too. THe lime green whatever it was that Lila drove, the fiat, the 1BRUCE1 porshe, the jeep, and didn’t todd drive a beemer or something? And of COURSE there would be nighly themed dances, pinktreesloth! Of course, the spa would provide makeovers for those unfortunate guests with brown hair, glasses, or extra LBS. sweet valley bootcamp would turn everyone into SV clones. excellent!

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