I hope you can see this cover clearly. The girls are looking at a blow up poster of Simmie Randolph the Third, that he sent to Amy. Conceited much? If you look closely, his pose looks very similar to another iconic teen idol image.
Same pose! I don’t know why the hell I knew this. Prob because I was obsessed with Cocktail because when it came out I wasn’t allowed to see it but I saw it at a friends house anyway, and we tried to toss around paper cups. Also, Simmie is a dick. Who sends a poster of themselves? That is such a Bruce Patman thing to do.
So Palmer see the poster and falls in LUV. She is so jealous that Amy has Simmie as a pen pal and is really bored with her current Pen Pal, John Adams, not because he shares a name with a president, but because he writes her emo poetry.
Palmer is also hanging out with a rich, snobby older girl named Germaine. (And I totally kept thinking of Jermaine from Flight of the Conchords, which would have totally made the story way more awesome.) Germaine convinces Palmer to go behind Amy’s back and steal Simmie. Palmer steals the questionnaires they had the boys fill out so she can learn Simmie’s interests. It includes:
If you were a car, what would you be? Red Jaguar, which I am getting in two years
If you were a book, what book would you be? Don’t know
Please write down your favorite subjects in school. None
Favorite food? Lobster, steak, chocolate cake
Please write down an interesting dream: I am riding my red jaguar, which I will soon own at age 16 as it has been promised to me by my father. And I am coming to a cliff. But wings grow from the tires and I start to fly.
What a peach, huh? Sounds like a future heartless frat boy. I am not sure if this was included to use this as the epitome of me of the “perfect guy” or maybe to show what a shallow alpha male he is. Sometimes I hope that the writers have some conscious and try to send good messages. But maybe I ask too much. Palmer starts sending him secret admirer letters.
Meanwhile there is a winter carnival coming up and they all invite the boys to compete with them in their favorite sport. Lisa and Rob get into a dumb fight about the abominable snowman or something. Amy is writing a song for the talent show. Palmer writes a letter to Simmie telling him to meet her in her yellow ski suit. John writes a poem and sends it to Palmer and Amy sees it and they start to collaborate on a song. Palmer encourages it because it makes her feel less guilty for stealing Amy’s pen pal. Palmer does not write to John inviting him, and he writes to ask her why, and she writes him the meanest letter evs that she is going but don’t bother looking for her. Ouch!
Meanwhile, there is a brand new “technology” that the newspaper uses to communicate with the journalism club. It’s basically instant messenger and they sneak in late at night to talk to John Adams who finally fills them in on the dirt- Simmie is all about this secret admirer and thinks Amy is telling everyone that she is his girlfriend and getting him mad.
The gals find out what Palmer has been doing and she goes out to ice skate with Amy to apologize and she falls and hurts her ankle, so she can’t go to the carnival. Bwah! Germaine ends up showing up in the yellow ski suit and tries to steal Simmie. Why is everyone all up on Simmie?
So, they all decide to forgive Palmer, although this is like the thirtieth shitty thing she does to them. I have no idea why. So, John and Amy meet and they are kind of vibing off each other. So Amy decides that switching pen pals may be a good idea. Meaning she just bends over and takes it from Palmer. They bring Palmer out to meet Simmie and all is well. Rob and Lisa make up and Mars and Shanon say dorky things to each other. The end.
Why do they put up with Palmer’s shit????