Bring It On! or #113 The Pom Pom Wars

So, last time we left the gals, Jessica quit the team and found out about Liz and Ken’s torrid affair. Which still totally infuriates me, because it was so thrown in there after the affect! And with Ken, of all people! And suddenly Liz’s obsession with ken comes out of the woodwork! Even last miniseries when she was all up in Bruce’s speedo!!!

Ken actually does something useful- suggests that Jessica start her own cheerleading squad. So Jess goes out and recruits good dancers and gymnasts, along with Lila and Maria and Jean, who Heather booted. And…Jade Wu! I totally thought she would never appear in the series again. I must eat my words. And some gal Patty Gilbert, who I am apparently supposed to know about.

Jessica also blackmails Liz to be on her team. Either she joins or Jess tells Todd about Ken. So, um, yeah.

Lots of pages that throw in some cheerleading terminology and how Jessica is getting frustrated with her team. Blah blah blah. Apparently one can learn to do backflips and extensive pyramids within two days practice. Including Liz.

Lots of instances where Liz is crazy jealous of Ken and Jessica and mean to Todd. Seriously, this needs to get resolved quick because these scenes are just the same things over and over again.

Heather’s squad only has four people: her, Annie Whitman, Amy Sutton, and Sandra Bacon. And she forbids them all from talking Jessica. Although that is mean, I love how Jessica has tasted her own medicine and IT IS BITTER! I would have loved for Annie Whitman to be all, “remember when you made me feel so horrible I tried to kill myself when you kept me out of the squad? Payback’s a bitch!”. And didn’t Jessica once keep Amy Sutton off their stupid fucking baton twirling team once in the twins series? Maybe I just dreamt that.

Ok, so a scout came to one of the games and wants Heather’s team to go to the nationals. Ooookaaaayyyy, I was not a cheerleader in high school (surprise) but I don’t think that is how the national cheerleading competition works. First of all, you need an ADULT SUPERVISOR which they clearly don’t have.

Jess wants to be recruited to the nationals too, so she has her squad show up to the scout’s house. Listen, i am sure his wife is pissed enough that her husband watches high school girls shake their asses all day, he doesn’t need them showing up at his house. So he loves them but tells them that Heather already has the team that is going. On the way back they decide to stop at the football game in progress and sabotage the halftime. Jess gives her cassette to the PA guy and they come out and do their thing before Heather’s squad can. And the crowd goes wild!! Also, every student is at the football game, apparently.

Jessica get a brilliant idea that the school should VOTE on who gets to go to nationals, and approaches Chrome Dome with the idea of a cheer-off. NOTE TO ADULTS: IT’S OK TO SAY NO TO JESSICA. Ignoring any type of precedents, respect for the National Cheerleading Association, or boundaries, agrees to it. I think he even cancels class. What the fuck. Does everyone in the school really care? I’ll bet Lois Waller throws up in her mouth when she realizes she’s required to go to this shit show.

So both teams kick ass, and it’s a dead tie! The other members hatch a plan to tell both Heather and Jessica that they will each be the sole captains and to join the teams. Of course their egos both agree. So then they go to the regionals and win. Because forming a team within the span of three weeks makes you the best. But, I guess if you have the Wakefield twins, you’re the best.

MIRACULOUSLY, Heather and Jessica now get along. Nice plot consistency. At point, Ken comes up to Liz thinking she’s Jess and invites her out that night. Liz plays along and tells Jess that Ken had to cancel so she can go out with him. So they go to Miller’s Point or whatever and start making out and BAM! Ken realizes it’s Liz and BAM! Liz realizes she’s suddenly over Ken. If she got over him that quickly, did we REALLY need to hear all the incessant whining over her feelings?

They go to tell Todd and Jessica to come clean but it turns out that Jess and Todd found out and are super-pissed. Todd and Liz cheating on each other? It must be a Tuesday.

Can we talk about the cover? There are too many fucking blondes, I can’t tell who is who. First i thought the girls in the bleachers with the stringy hair were Liz and Jess, spying and plotting on Heather’s team, but then I realized that must be Heather and someone else spying on Jess’ new team. And that must be Jessica doing that spazzy jump. Isn’t Jade Asian and Patty is black? Where are they?

My grade: A-

45 thoughts on “Bring It On! or #113 The Pom Pom Wars

  1. Margaret says:

    So I totally know what you’re talking about with the Amy Sutton baton twirling thing in the Twins series. To my best recollection, Jessica and her friends basically ran the jr high cheerleading squad (sound familiar?), which was all the same members as their damn “Unicorns” club. They tried to blackmail Amy into not trying out (again, sound familiar??), but she DID IT ANYWAYS! THE HORROR! This was back when Amy was an ugly tomboy.

    Long story short, apparently Amy Sutton honed her baton twirling skills to the point where they had to let her on the team, because apparently the whole school was at the tryouts and could serve as witnesses, which seems to be another familiar sight in sweet valley.

    I don’t get the character changes between the twins and high books. Amy used to be a tomboy, Ken was really uncoordinated (a big part of this book was how he couldn’t play basketball), Lois Waller had a much larger role. I just don’t know what that Francine was thinking sometimes.

  2. wanderingfrog says:

    I have recently started collecting SV books because of you. You are a Bad Person. I got this one and the first book in the crazy London werewolf miniseries and the first book in the gang wars miniseries and Lila’s Story and some other cool shit. Oh, yeah.

  3. Jane says:

    wasn’t this the plot to bring it on again… or bring it on some more…. you know, the direct to video sequels to bring it on…

  4. kiwimusume says:

    Patty Gilbert was Saved by Elizabeth Ingalls in Book the Sixty-first, Boy Trouble (another “it took them 61 books to use that title?!” if ever I saw it.)

    Also, wasn’t it Sandy who got kicked out?

    I really loved this book in high school. I remember reading this in 4th form while waiting for some kind of assembly or rehearsal or something to begin, then leaving it in the hall, losing it, and freaking out because it was a library book. (I found it in the end, though.)

  5. Onnie says:

    The one part that I “loved” about this book is the fact that Elizabeth, who has never ever cheered in her whole life, and I don’t think she was ever an athlete or gymnast, can all of a sudden do all these backflips and etc. and she is so fabulous at cheering??? Good Lord, I was in gymnastics during my elementary school years, and you can’t just “pick” that shit up!!!

  6. Merrie says:

    Re: Cheer terms

    I have no idea what a herky is, but my school mascot is Herkey, so I always pictured that even though it had nothing to do with cheering. 🙂

  7. Alison says:

    I think a herky is where you jump with one knee bent, but I could be wrong. I wasn’t a cheerleader but I do know that is NOT how nationals would work. And I’m also pretty sure you don’t get good enough at cheerleading in 2 days to be qualified for a NATIONAL COMPETITION. But then again, most teams don’t have the Wakefields!

  8. Anonymous says:

    A herkey is like some split jump with one knee bent. Learnt that in from a fabulous five book, thank you very much!
    But I don’t really know how the hell you would be able to do a triple herkey. Me thinks the ghost writers are making this stuff up and are really very poorly informed…

  9. EnidRollins says:

    God forbid somebody should be better than Jessica Wakefield. God forbid Liz should refuse Jessica’s sociopath whining. God forbid Chrome Dome should actually put academics first…oh wait, he did…Jess and Heather are equals, Liz gave in to Jess, and Chrome Dome Cooper was a total walkover.

  10. Misti says:

    My sisters and I cheered all through high school and college…and we ate this garbage UP. Even all the glaring inconsistencies (i.e. Liz suddenly becoming a Cheer-Master, Ken’n’Liz, etc.) couldn’t deter us from these books. So you know, as of this book’s publishing (1995) and my cheerleading days (1993-2001), there’s no such thing as a “triple herky”. A herky is a jump in which you spring inot the air while you kick one leg to either your right or left side. The other leg is bent underneath your glutes. There is a “double herky”, where you spring up, bend both knees under your glutes and look like your trying to touch your toes to you shoulder blades. I think a “triple herky” would involve a third leg, or be the act of doing a regular herky 3 times. Also, Jessica mentions a “Y leap” a few time in this series. Wtf? A Y-LEAP?!?! In 8 years of intense cheerleading and competitions and camps…no one said “Y-LEAPS!!”

  11. Dwanollah says:

    I frickin’ LOVE this book. I love the next one, too, for the spectacular cheerleading outfits and “Funky Monkey” cheers, but Todd, Ken and Winston in drag ruin everything, so this one is my very very favorite SVH Cheerleading book. It taught me so much about teamwork and goal-setting and magical gymnastics abilities.

  12. Lauren says:

    I hated this book and the cheerleading ones preceding it because it made me crazy to think that SVH had all these amazing gymnasts/dancers/cheerleaders just waiting to be put on a squad. I was a gymnast in high school and I liked to think that I could do SOMETHING that perfect Elizabeth Wakefield couldn’t, dammit!

    There were so many “technical cheerleading terms” that made no sense at all… I think it was the book before this one where they told Heather to do a triple cartwheel with a landing in the splits. A triple cartwheel? You mean… three cartwheels, like my preschool gymnasts can do? And sorry, but if you’re landing a cartwheel in a split, something went terribly wrong and you’re probably injured now.

  13. Amy Slutton says:

    Since in my emulation of Jessica I became a cheerleader in high school, as far as I have always known, a triple herkey would consist of doing three herkeys in a row, with this jump in between each one that allows you to gain momentum and keep going. But yeah I agree, there are some weird cheerleading terms in Sweet Valley that I never heard of either… I didn’t read this one but I’m pretty sure there was some nonsensical stuff in Wrong Kind of Girl.

  14. Melody Powers says:

    “Todd and Liz cheating on each other? It must be a Tuesday.”

    Aha! A Buffy fan. You, my friend, are my pen and ink Internet twin.

  15. Sarah C. says:

    I just read this one. Yes, where is the faculty advisor–you would think Mr. Collins would volunteer. My favorite part is when Ken puts his arms around Elizabeth (thinking she’s Jessica) : “His t-shirt was damp with sweat; he smelled like fresh-cut grass and some musky deodorant. A shiver ran down Elizabeth’s spine.”

    I know Todd probably smells like a My Buddy doll, but could “some musky deodorant” turn anyone on? Ick, ghostwriters.

  16. JP says:

    Patty Gilbert was black AND got scoliosis.

    And she also got promoted to main character status in the TV show so the cast would be vaguely diverse.

  17. Diesel says:
  18. Jane says:
  19. Elizabeth says:

    I don’t get why Liz sneaks to hang out with Ken and even make out with him just to prove a point to…who? And anyway, with so many dudes between the twins why would you ever want your twin sister’s sloppy seconds? Plus, what does that say about the dude who dated the original twin, “I’m now dating your twin sister cus she reminds me of you.” or “Yes! We have waaaaay more in common, like….uh…..”

  20. Mindy says:

    It was Sandy that got kicked off. I always thought that Jess was the person in the front, and the one jumping in the air was Heather. The 2 girls in the stand don’t make sense either because they look like its supposed to be Liz and jess. haha. I loved this mini series when I was in high school. Thought it was so entertaining. Esp the parts where the guys drove up to see them. Hilarious

  21. aeacus says:

    These recaps make me think that if I were to write awful young adult novels (not that they would ever have the glory that they used to), I could have a blast and never get sick of writing as my art, because this is all complete bullshit! Drivel! I love it. No thought required. I think I have some 16-line poems that took more effort to write.

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