The one where the Swiss invent the miracle cure for deafness, or #18 Head Over Heels

Sorry, going old school for this one. Regina and Bruce are in lurrrrve. You know how we know they are in lurve? They sit in Bruce’s Porsche and murmur sweet nothings to each other. Except Regina needs to be looking right at Bruce, since she lipreads, so I don’t know if and how that interferes with the cuddling. Anyway, Bruce is a changed man. No more date raping girls with amnesia or anything like that. In fact, Regina is the first girl he tells he loves, and Bruce is the first boy that Regina has kissed. For a second, and I mean a SECOND, it kind of softened my heart a little.

Lila is still totes jealous of Regina, because there is only room for one rich brunette. Apparently there is room for two size six blondes, thank god. Jessica is still bitter Bruce dumped her ass and is basically a selfish heartless cunt, so she doesn’t want to see anyone happy, so she really wants them to break up. Jessica and Lila make a bet about their longevity- and the loser has to write the other person’s history term paper. AND it’s 15 pages long. Remember is high school when anything over 5 pages was like writing a novel? Of course this is the mid-80s so no computers, so maybe it’s handwritten. Anyway, why I am fixated on that?

Meanwhile, SVH is holding a carnival (along with dances, they have picnics, carnivals and talent shows ever week) and oh guess who is chairing the committee. Yes, fucking Liz Wakefield. The committee consists of what I guess is the only members of the junior class, so Liz, Todd, Enid, Ken Olivia and Roger, and Todd. Todd acts like a tool at all the meetings and makes bad puns. Winston won’t shut up and keeps trying too hard. Mr. Collins is advising, duh. Apparently you have to run a campaign to be president of the Centennial Committee. [Did I dream it, or is there another book in which they have a Centennial Carnival? Anyone? Anyone?] Ken wants to job, put is peeved when Bruce signs up to run also. Bruce is actually doing it as a surprise fo Regina (yea, cuz that’s the way to woo a high school girl).

Meanwhile, Regina’s fam breaks the news to her: there is a doctor in Switzerland that can cure her deafness. Wow! That’s amazing! That is great news for the deaf community! It’s a mirac–oh. It cost a thousan jillion dollars and only super-rich deaf people can benefit. Fantastic. Regina has to move to Sweden to undergo the treatment. She doesn’t want to go because she doesn’t want to leave Bruce. She doesn’t tell Bruce so she won’t feel guilty.

Jessica, wanting to win her bet, tells Regina that Bruce is only dating her so he can gain credibility and win the Centennial committee election. Only a moron would believe that. So, naturally Regina does. So she breaks up with Bruce and decides to go to Switzerland after all. Liz of course becomes Meddley McMeddlesalot and and tells Bruce about Regina’s cure and how he can’t tell her he loves her so she may not go. So essentially, they manipulate her. Bruce writes Regina a letter to read on the plane, and it is so awful (awesome) I have to reprint it.

Dear Regina,

By the time you read this, it will be too late to change your mind about the treatments. And you musn’t change your mind, my dearest. [Yes, teenage boys love to use musn’t. And dearest? Is he in the Victorian era?]- not for anything. Elizabeth told me everythind, and I must admit that at first all I could think of was rushing over to your house and putting things right again. I never cared about anything but you. I signed up to run in the election last Thursday- exactly five days ago. I was wrong not to mention it to you at once, but I wanted to surprise you if I won. I can’t believe you could ever imagine my using you. I love you with all my heart, and always will [unless you one day die from a drug overdose]. In fact it’s because I love you that I can’t explain this all to you before Friday. If there’s the slightest chance that you might be able to hear again one day after these treatments, you must go through them. I’m, not selfish enough to let you stay in Sweet Valley for my sake, Regina. But I’m too selfish to let you go thinking badly of me. You must know that I’ve loved you with all my heart from the first. [first what? Ghost writers, finish the phrase!]

Awwww. This sounds like my fifth grade self attempting to write a romance novel. Which I did attempt, by the way. Don’ even ask me about it, it is long gone. I made sure I burned that shit. Anyhoo, Jessica obvs loses the bet and Lila writes her history paper and gets a bad grade. So I guess that is supposed to teach you not to cheat? Or that if you do cheat, make sure you pick someone who is smart? Oh and the carnival is a success, blah blah.

Covergoodness! Sorry to say, but Regina does not look like model material. And Bruce is a hottie pitottie. It’s that cleft chin, gets me everytime. Or maybe it’s the pleated chinos. And the fearthered hair. He looks about 30 years older than her.

Other stuff:

Regina has dinner at the Patman estate. Bruce’s mom yells when she is talking to Regina. Marie Patman is such a peach.

Winston runs a booth at the carnival where people can pay to throw pies at him. Oh Winston, making people laugh with you is not going to stop them from laughing at you.

Jess describing Olivia Davidson: “she dresses like a freak in Indian cotton dresses and funny sandals and doesn’t care about anything but drawing and poety. A fate worse than death”. Actually, for me, a fate worse than death is to hang around with a vapid blond twin. But that’s just me.

Oh, Lila flirts with a construction worker she meets at her dad’s office. Ooooo, a working class man! Hawt. I think it’s the setup for the next book.

In the back of the edition of the book I have, there is an exerpt from a Francine book called Loving, about a rich, pretty vapid girl in a boarding school. I think I did read this series. Anyway, if you have the book and read it’s it’s awesome, and actually even more awesome (worse) than SVH. I wish I could find it somewhere.

My grade: B-

Okay, let’s get down to the nitty gritty with this week’s poll. It’s going to be your old standard “who would you rather do”

Nicholas Morrow / Steven Wakefield

Bruce Patman / Ken Matthews

Next time: the miniseries where the twins’ mother and Bruce’s dad supposedly have an affair, Todd moves in, and Liz gets with Bruce again. In other words, awesomeness. I know lots of you have been requesting stuff, but some of the books I don’t have (yet). I am currently on ebay bidding on Return of the Evil Twin and the pom-pom wars miniseries, but I don’t want to jinx it.

30 thoughts on “The one where the Swiss invent the miracle cure for deafness, or #18 Head Over Heels

  1. kiwimusume says:

    OK, you’ve finally done it.

    I live in Japan. Japan is located in Asia, and 99.999% of its population speaks Japanese. This means that if I want SVH books, I have to get them shipped from an English-speaking country, which is God-awfully expensive. So I told myself I wouldn’t start buying SVH books over the internet. But now, I don’t know, maybe it was your mention of the cheerleading books, which I loved, but something tipped me over the edge. So I’ve been poking around Amazon, and have just discovered at least one (and probably more) sellers that have pretty much ALL the editions for like 1c each. So if I can negotiate bulk shipping, this bitch is about to indulge. So I was just wondering, if it’s not too much trouble, could any of you guys tell me what these books are about?

    Last Chance (#36)
    Rumors (#37)
    Against The Odds (#51)
    White Lies (#52)
    Second Chance (#53)
    Two-Boy Weekend (#54)
    Boy Trouble (#61)
    Who’s Who? (#62)
    The Love Bet (#68)
    Friend Against Friend (#69)
    Regina’s Legacy (#73)
    The Perfect Girl (#74)
    The Dating Game (#78)
    The Long-Lost Brother (#79)
    The Girl They Both Loved (#80)
    Rosa’s Lie (#81)
    Soap Star (#85)
    My Best Friend’s Boyfriend (#87)
    In Love With A Prince (#91)

    Thanks HEAPS to anyone who can help me out with that!! 😀

    The polls…the first one’s easy, because I wouldn’t fuck any of the Wakefields if you paid me. And Nicholas Morrow always seemed so much more normal than the other characters. The second one…ooooooh, that’s tough. They’re both such wanks… Ken’s always struck me as a little gay, though, for some reason, despite his stereotypical jockishness. Maybe it’s how he’s drawn on the covers, or maybe it’s how squeaky clean and uber-romanticI seem to remember him being in his relationships…yeah, I pick Ken. Maybe he’ll chicken out and we’ll just sit in his room and talk for a long time, where “talk” means he goes on about football for a long time. I can tune it out.

    Also, wasn’t it the Swiss that invented the miracle cure? I’m sure I would have remembered if it was Sweden, what with how big an Abba fan I was (OK, still am)…

    Re the Centennial: Wasn’t there that Centennial game in the book about Ken the (gay!) blockhead?

  2. nichole says:

    This was always one of my favorites, when I was about 13. I liked the Morrows because they were rich, but not snobby rich like Lila and Bruce. Looking back some 17 years later – the writing (and the typos) are god-awful. I bought Malibu Summer and Spring Break from ebay, and I forgot 1) how quickly I can blast through a super edition, like in an hour and a half, and 2) just exactly how much of a doormat Liz is when it comes to Jessica. Anyhow…back to the story at hand…while this one is bad, it’s not as bad as others and because it features the Morrows, I definitely agree with your rating.

    As for the poll…I agree with kiwimusume on the first one. Definitely Nicholas Morrow. I would be afraid Steven would confuse me with Tricia Martin or something.

    As for the second pair – if I had to pick one, I would probably pick Bruce. That’s just a gut a feeling. Not based on anything else other than I usually am not attracted to the jock type.

  3. ihatewheat says:

    Totally wrote this review without the book in front of me, and I don’t know wny I wrote Sweden.

    I actually don’t have many of the ones you mentioned, but just by titles alone, you know two-boy weekend is going to be amazing.

  4. Merrie says:

    Is it just me, or does this plot of this book TOTALLY resemble High School Musical? Just replace the deafness with singing and you’d got the whole thing. Bruce is Troy. Regina is Gabriella. Jessica and Lila are Sharpay. Olivia is the piano girl who’s only purpose is to try cheesy love songs for Troy and Gabriella. Todd is Chad. Ken is Ryan. Elizabeth is Taylor. IT TOTALLY WORKS!

    Yes, that movie is taking over my life. My 5-year-old is still mad I wouldn’t buy her the ‘I love Troy’ backpack for school. Please! She cannot be obsessing over celebrities this young! I at least was in sixth-grade when I breathed New Kids morning, noon and night!

    I digress. Thanks for doing a “classic” this post. I remember thinking how Bruce was oh-so-romantic, letting Regina go to Switzerland while he stays behind and pines for her. Bravo to Liz for forgetting that Bruce tried to rape her and her sister, and working to ensure that he and Regina will live happily ever after — until later in the series. Re-reading the letter — DEAR GOD! If I had ever received a letter like that, I would laugh so hard! In fact, I did. An ex sent me a six-page letter a year after we broke up and it was so cheesy, it was painful. Give me a ‘love ya’ text anyday, thank you very much.

    Tough poll question. But I musn’t not make a decision, so here it is:

    Nicholas is too much of a wimp. Yeah, he has money, but why is he always hanging out with high school kids, and pining for Elizabeth? He reminds me of Matthew McCounaghey’s (sp?) character in Dazed and Confused.

    I could never date Bruce. I’d be afraid he’d send me love letters. And his mother is a FREAK.

    I’m still waiting for Ken Matthews to come out.

    So that leaves me with Steven Wakfield. Cute. Doesn’t hang out with high school kids (he dates them, but he’s not a constant in their lives). Love without writing cheesy letters. Will actually get pissed at Jessica. Even tells Liz when to butt out. Yup, he’s my man.

  5. Merrie says:

    Did the poll mean I had to choose between Ken and Bruce, too? Crap.

    I’m going with Bruce, then. At least he’ll buy me something pretty.

  6. grace says:

    kiwimusume – I can help you with one of the books, but I started reading them when they got to about the 90s, so the other ones are kind of foreign to me. BUT I recently read the Love Bet and holy shit is it ridiculous.

    It’s right after Todd gets back from Vermont and him and Liz are all platonically happy or whatev. Dana Larson (lead singer of the The Droids, in case you didn’t know … which of course you did, since they can’t write that damn girl’s name without mentioning it) is broadcasting to the entire school how she is “fed up with love.” Seriously, the phrase “fed up with love” appears at least 100 times in the book. So Liz, prescient girl that she is, picks up on this and also finds out that soccer star Aaron Dallas is also “fed up with love.” So – ohmigod – she tells Todd they should set Dana and Aaron up. Todd’s all like, no way, Dana’s so MUSICAL and FASHIONABLE and Aaron’s all ATHLETIC and … well, I don’t know what else, that seems to be his only trait. Liz bets Todd that they can do it, and he’s skeptical, but agrees to the bet and then the whole book is about their efforts to get them together.

    It’s really pretty awful. Nowhere near the caliber of, say, The Pom-Pom Wars or that gang war trilogy.

  7. ihatewheat says:

    You’re so right about High School Musical. (Is it any surprise that I like HSM?) Although HSM is basically a copy of Grease, so really, there are no original storylines anywhere.

    Also, Dana Larson is fed up with love? I am going to officially announce that I am fed up with the god-awful Droids playing at the weekly school dances.

  8. Heidi says:

    kiwimusume. the only storyline I remember even vaguely from those titles is “Rosa’s Lie.” Her ‘lie’ is trying to hide her hispanic background (whether she’s Mexican or whatever I don’t remember). She calls herself “Rose” and hates herself because she eats homemade chips and salsa. Then she makes the cheerleading squad and gets a boytoy and owns up to the fact that she’s mexi and all is forgiven. There’s probably more to the story, but this is the basics. I just remember the part about the chips and salsa because she ate like 5 chips and stopped herself, saying if she ate anymore she would be a hippo or something.

  9. lizzie says:

    Rosa’s Lie is especially entertaining- she pretends to be a descendent of the pasengers on the Mayflower so that nouveau-riche Lila Fowler thinks that she is good enough for Pi Beta Alpha.

    The other books mentioned:

    Last chance #36- Julie Porter’s drop-out waitress older sister battles the diabolical Amy Sutton for the love of Peter DeHaven.

    Rumors #37- Lila is jealous that poor girl in town Susan Stewart is going to a ball with a hot rich guy so she starts a rumor that Susan’s mom is a slut. However, turns out to be the daughter of a famous actor who is filming a movie in town which Jessica wants to be in, of course.

    Against the odds #51/White lies #52/Second chance #53- series of books that involve minor SVH students overcoming “issues.” I believe that one of these involves Enid’s a**hole ex boyfriend Eddie from book two and his relationship with a bookie.

    Two boy weekend #54- Jessica is a slut (again) who juggles two boys at once.

    Boy trouble #61- Minor(ity) character Patty Gilbert doesn’t trust her boyfriend and is sick of helping to plan her older perfect sister’s wedding.

    Who’s who #62- I believe that this is the one where Jessica’s multiple personality disorder is used to her advantage- she signs up for dating service and creates two new personas- the sophisticated Danielle Fromage and the wild rocker Magenta Galaxy. (And yes, her dates believe that these are real names.)

    The love bet #68- Instead of spending quality time at Miller’s Point, Elizabeth and Todd scheme to hook up Aaron Dallas (the angry abusive soccer captain) and Dana Larson (the Droids singer who always is in need of a relationship). Lame.

    Friend against friend #69- Minor white character has difficulty maintaining his friendship with one of the five token black kids at SVH.

    Regina’s legacy #73- Mrs Morrow re-gifts dead Regina’s expensive camera to Elizabeth. Elizabeth uses it to solve drug crimes and save Sweet Valley.

    The perfect girl #74- Robin Wilson becomes even more anorexic ‘cause her boyfriend George is spending a lot of time with his plane (yes, the guy who almost killed Enid in a crash) and passes out in at the ice cream sundae celebration. Ha ha.

    The long-lost brother #79- don’t actually remember this one so it must have been even worse than usual.

    The girl they both loved #80- April the biker chick has to chose between two guys. (I believe that she races at the same place that James, Jessica’s hired boyfriend during the Margo era, raced.)

    Soap Star #85- Jessica tricks Elizabeth into trying out for their favorite soap by telling her that they are going to a psych study about twins. Jessica dates the leading man; comedy ensues.

    My best friend’s boyfriend #87- two random girls fight over a guy we have never heard of and don’t care about.

    In love with a prince #91- a prince from a fake Monaco-like principality comes to Sweet Valley and falls in love with Dana Larson (who of course, is the lead singer of the Droids).

    Other recommendations from the politically-correct early 90s-
    #75 Tom McKay dates Enid’s gay cousin (and disappoints Amy to the point where she joins a teen-support hotline ala Brenda Walsh)

    #92 (I think) where Jessica plays Lady Macbeth and this mousy girl tries to upstage her. Superb- love the books where people make Jessica look stupid -i.e. Heather Malone during the cheerleading mini-series

    the Will/Melissa era in the SV Senior Yr series…that’s the point where Todd actually explains to Jessica that everyone thinks she slept around. Awesome.

  10. MaggieCat says:

    kiwimusume: Oo, Rumors was one of my favorites. (Always a relative term in this context.) From what I can recall (it’s been 17 years): It revolves around some girl named Susan who doesn’t know who her birth parents are. (I think she lives with a guardian.) Anyway, after she gets asked to one of the 8,768 school dances or balls or whatever by some rich guy who I can’t remember being in any of the other books, Lila gets jealous because she can’t find a date. So then spreads awful rumors about Susan’s real parents (I seem to recall saying her mother was criminally insane or some such) and then the entire school basically shuns Susan because they believe Lila. And because apparently crazy is contagious. Dear god these people are stupid. It’s also the one where Jessica, Elizabeth, and Steven become convinced that their mother is pregnant again. Unless that happened more than once, which I think it did.

    Oh sure: I couldn’t remember the names of the main characters in Of Mice and Men the other day, but THIS I remember.

    I think Last Chance was about a girl who dropped out of SVH when her mother died (and maybe her sister too? I remember a whole ‘dad doesn’t think I’m as special as her’ type deal) but then found mer mom’s diary which convinced her to go back. Then she fell in love with some super-smart guy who was dating Amy Sutton. Amy finds out and is such an ass about it that Johanna drops out again. I’m sure she goes back to the wonder that is SVH at some point, but I don’t really remember.

    Poll; Well, I’d have to say Nicholas in the first one, but sadly, when I was reading these books for the first time when I was 8-9, I was very fond of Bruce so my inner child is calling that one. (I was just a kid! It’s okay- I grew up and learned the definition of consent and how to spot a controlling jackass to eventually live a relatively sane life.)

  11. lizzie says:

    Yup- Tom McKay becomes gay, completely out of the blue, after playing a couple sets of tennis with Enid’s cousin. (Her cousins always seem to cause trouble.) I think that this book was published in/around 1992 so the ghost writers got pressured to put in some politically correct stuff. I guess Tom was expendable since the twins weren’t interested in him.

    (In retrospect, Ken Matthews would have made more sense, especially since he dated that total beard, Terri. Though he was blind at the time, so maybe that was his excuse.)

  12. Ali says:

    I think I’d go with Nicholas Morrow, because I’d rather not do a Wakefield. And I’d go with Ken before Bruce, because I’m just not into date rapists…or guys who try to date rape girls, anyway.

  13. Sandy says:

    Against the Odds #51 is about Ronnie Edwards, who is indeed Enid’s ex from book #2, getting himself into big-time debt with a bookie. The bookie’s going to break his thumbs or something like that, so Ronnie tries to get Jeffrey French to throw a soccer game so he can win back some money. It’s all about the evils of gambling, and Jeffery’s debate of whether to throw the game and help out a guy he barely likes, or play his best, which is what his team deserves. It was AWFUL!!!

    White Lies #52 is about John Pfeiffer falling in love with his friend Jennifer, who is soooooo in love with Rick Andover, only Rick gets arrested (because John calls the cops on him) and John lets Jennifer think her father got Rick in trouble so she won’t get mad at him. Then her dad gets really sick, and John confesses, and everyone’s happy.

    Second Chance #53 is about Kristin Thompson, who is a semi-pro tennis player who wants to be like her tennis champ mom, who passed away when Kristin was young. But Kristin ALSO wants to be a normal kid and date Bruce Patman. Oh, the dillema…

    All 3 of those were pretty bad. I never really liked the books about characters you never, ever heard of again, like Kristin. At least Ronnie Edwards was mentioned more than once (and is killed in the Earthquake book). And John Pfeiffer goes on to try to rape Lila, and then becomes an arsonist.

  14. kiwimusume says:

    OMG!!! Thank you guys so much!!! Especially lizzie! 😀 Once I finish up with my Obnoxiously Hard Japanese mock exam, I’mma hit Amazon and blow half this month’s salary! 😀

    I remember the Jessica-gets-branded-a-slut bit. Didn’t she go crying to Todd, saying “All I did was….” and he said something like “Yeah…that is kind of a skanky thing to do…” or something like that? I do remember that it forced her to get over herself a little. And Elizabeth turned bad girl and went drinking and stopped doing her homework and stole her best friend’s boyfriend. Good times, good times. 😀

    That bit about the chips cracks my shit up. You mean, eating corn chips and salsa = Mexican = bad? I thought everyone ate corn chips? They do where I’m from, anyway. Stupid Sweet Valley kids. Corn chips + salsa = to die for. (I’m not even going to talk about the “Mexican=bad” part.)

  15. Shannon River says:

    Heh. When Regina later died of the OD… I have to admit, I felt like… “Wow. She had all this expensive hearing surgery done, and now it’s all for waste for she is dead.”
    I’m not meaning to sound horribly callous! While regaining hearing opens up a huge can of ethical worms among the deaf community, one way to describe my point is she just had her world opened up to her after being deaf for 16 years, and then the poor thing dies. Ironic and sad.

  16. erynq says:

    Love it, love it. I love thinking of you sitting in your apt, typing out the letter from Bruce to Regina. Can you do the one where she ODs? That book singlehandedly stopped me from doing drugs for the last 18 years or so. They should make it required reading in schools.

  17. coquelicot says:

    #79: The Long-Lost Brother. Title is a bit misleading; the girl has known about her brother the whole time. From what I recall, the girl, Sara, learns that her twin brother, Tim, is coming to Sweet Valley to…start his life over after being some sort of thug and getting out of juvie? I think Sara and her mom moved to Sweet Valley from somewhere on the East Coast sometime in the past, but Tim’s dad stayed there while Tim was screwing up his life. Or am I getting this storyline mixed up with Dawn’s in The Babysitters Club? I know Tim’s blown away by all the beautiful girls in SV, and ends up dating Sara’s BFF despite her initial objections. I think the moral of the story is that people can change, and to give them a chance to prove themselves. Or something like that. But it’s been years since I’ve read it, so my details might be fuzzy.

  18. Kellie says:

    I refuse to believe that the Bruce in this book is really the date-raping a-hole to end all a-holes featured in #3 and #7

    Speaking of which, why did the trauma of Lila’s attempted rape actually have a degree of realism (in that she wasn’t over it by the next book) but the same thing basically happened to Liz at the end of Dear Sister and it wasn’t even really acknowledged, let alone dealt with.

  19. MaggieCat says:

    You know, what strikes me about rereading all of these plot synopses is that I frequently can’t remember the ending of a given book, but if I stop halfway through the description and think “What would be the cheesiest possible resolution?” it has about a 95% accuracy rate.

    And also that Francine apparently hates single mothers only slightly less than she hates fat people. I’m guessing that if a plump girl ever had a child out of wedlock in Sweet Valley she’d be burned at the stake.

  20. Dwanollah says:

    Okay, the stupidest thing about this book is that there’s all this Possible Ulterior Motive developed for Bruce’s interest in Regina: Jessica tells Regina that he’s trying to boost his popularity and win the carnival election, which causes Regina to flip out and dump him.

    But why didn’t Jessica just tell Regina the truth? Namely, that Bruce is a sleaze who takes advantage of girls, including her own twin sister. That’d’ve done the trick.

  21. Sue says:

    Nicholas Morrow, definitely.

    So glad I found your site and your SVH recaps! I’m writing this way after this post, but I had to respond when you mentioned “Loving” – because I’ve totally heard of it. Because I totally read that whole series. I believe that was the first book of the “Caitlin” series. There were three trilogies, the first was the “Love” trilogy – I think they were called “Loving,” “Love Lost” and “True Love.” After that I’m a little fuzzier, but I think the third trilogy was all based on the word “Forever.” Basically, Caitlin is a very Jessica type – beautiful, rich, spoiled. She was raised, I think, by her grandmother, because her parents were never around for whatever reason. She lives at boarding school, spends a lot of time manipulating her friends and loving horses. But in the first trilogy, she finds her father, falls in love with some do gooder guy named Jed, and becomes a good person. I don’t remember much else, except that there’s lots about horses (horse racing, breeding, a stable fire that Caitlin has to be saved from) and much drama about her father, who’s a doctor, and on-again, off-again with Jed. I wish I still had them! If you find them, please recap them – no one else but me seems to have ever heard of snotty little Caitlin and her horses.

  22. LimeGreenTriumph says:

    Oh, I had a few of the Caitlin books. She was all hot for that guy and there was some plain girl that she was afraid he was interested in….so while the plain girl is babying sitting a teacher’s kid, she went into the shed to “borrow” something, and didn’t lock it and the kid got in there and ate lawn fertilizer or something and the plaid girl was blamed and Caitlin didn’t confess that SHE left the shed unlocked until 3 books later….
    Holy shit. How do I remember this? I read that book at least 15 years ago…

  23. Miss Rain says:

    I pick Steven. But then that’s probably because I always imagine guys called Steven to be hot. And i pick Bruce because dick-head arrogant guys are PHWOAR hot, and it’s ok because i’d only have to do him, not speak to him and i bet he’s all muscly.
    Bad Rain, bad. Bad, bad, bad. I can’t believe i just said the above.

  24. Goldray says:

    The poll:

    Bruce Patman: Yeah, he’s hot, but his warts and herpes? not so much

    Steven Wakefield: Nah, he’d probably make me dress up in Tricia’s clothes before sex… Too kinky for me

    Ken Matthews: Yeah, he’s hot, but stupid. Not so much interested in stupid

    Nicholas Morrow: Yeah, I’d do him. He’s hot, smart, a little boring maybe… I’d have to put duct tape over his mouth to keep him from talking about computers… but I’d just call it kink. Yeah, we have a winner. Nicholas Morrow.

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