The one with the crash landing or #20 Crash Landing!

Ok, when I say this one was bad, I don’t mean like so bad it was good, I mean so fucking stupid. George Warren, Enid’s boyf, has fallen in love with former fatty Robin Wilson while they are taking flying classes. [cue needle scratching across record]

Um, what? Flying lessons? The last I heard of any teenagers taking flying lessons was when Theo and Cockroach convinced their parents to let them do it and then decided it was too expensive. Why the fuck is Robin taking flying classes? Isn’t she too busy cheerleading and losing weight at explosive rates? I know they are rich kids, but please.

So George takes Enid up in his plane one last time before he plans on dumping her (uh, why?) but they crash land in the water. See how the book got its title? So Enid is now paralyzed and George feels guilty for wanting to dump her and reluctantly stays with her. Enid knows about him and Robin but manipulates George into staying with her. They even go to a dance (it is Friday, after all) and Enid really sees that George is really in love with Robin and needs to let go. Um, sad?

But, she still can’t walk and Liz thinks it’s psychosomatic. So she hatches a plan using Mr. Collins son Teddy. This is rull appropriate. She leaves him in the pool with Enid and Teddy pretends to drown and Enid is forced to jump up and save him. It was totally like when Nellie Olsen fell off Laura’s horse and pretended to be paralyzed but then Laura pushed her into a lake forcing her to stand up. Except that it wasn’t as cool.

And here’s the icing on the cake: Liz is a HERO after playing that trick on Enid. People at school run up to her and cheer. Errrrr, isn’t Enid the one who just became unparalyzed? Shouldn’t someone give a shit?

Um, the cover? It makes it look like Liz is saving Enid right after the crash. Or, if they are in the hospital, shouldn’t she not move Enid around like that?

Other thoughts:

Robin Wilson gets all stressed and guilty, so of course she starts stuffing her face. Eating is weakness. The book takes place over the span of a week, and she puts on ten pounds. And both Liz and Jessica both take notice in the form of condescending thoughts in italics.

So high school kids and their love lives can often be shallow, but I really don’t know why some of these kids are together. They never really talk about why why and how George and Robin fell in love. Their love of planes? Their burning desires for mainstream acceptance?

Sorry y’all, I couldn’t give you more. This one was dreadful.

My grade: F

Next time: Rags to Riches: it is so fucking ridiculous you won’t believe it.

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18 thoughts on “The one with the crash landing or #20 Crash Landing!

  1. becca says:

    dude, i LOVE this one. cause all of robin’s clothes stop fitting her within this week, cause she’s such a fatass. cause fat chicks are losers who don’t deserve clothes.

  2. Susan says:

    I remember she ordered a piece of chocolate cake from the cafeteria WITH a scoop of ice cream.

    What a glutton!

    Horrible message to kids who may just want a piece of cake

  3. Kellie says:

    yeah the fat-is-bad message was really rammed down our throats. Those books contained a lot of less-than-PC stuff … another example is the girls constantly crying rape after some guy rejects them. What message does that send to young teenage girls? That anyone who claims to have been sexually assaulted is merely a woman scorned? FFS!

  4. kiwimusume says:

    Isn’t this also the book where Jessica gives her family food poisoning trying to impress her hot French cooking teacher who turns out to be married with kids?

    And ick at Enid’s attitude to George. She should have kicked the cheating asshole to the kerb.

  5. Kellie says:

    Yeah, the subplot was Jessica’s cooking class and feeling hard done by… I actually felt sorry for her on this occasion (that’s a first!)

  6. ihatewheat says:

    yes, i was writing this without the book in front of me, so I forgot about the whole cooking thing…

    except Jessica is all poooooor me, my family doesn’t love me, blah blah blah

  7. Shannon says:

    Omg Omg Omg

    Now I need some therapy because you reminded me this book exists! I honestly forgot all about it.
    But I do believe I remember reading about how Enid had a small river of blood running down the side of her face after the crash.
    Whatev.

    Of course, I should be in therapy just for reading any of these books anyways.

    I love “The Cosby Show” reference, btw. Awesome.

  8. Jacinda says:

    Good point about the flying lessons. Isn’t there a whole book about how Robin won’t be able to afford college because she’s poor? Something about her aunt wanting to pay but only if she goes to Sarah Lawrence, and blah blah blah Robin can’t afford college otherwise? So yeah, who does fund these lessons for a 16 year old?

    And Responsible Liz gets Teddy to fake drowning so Enid can save him. Yeah, real good idea, just in case Enid really CAN’T walk, dumbass.

  9. Merrie says:

    I remember thinking as a young middle school student reading this book that getting dumped while flying in an airplane had to be the worst possible experience ever. It even tops being paralyzed for a bit.

    Did anyone else notice how many life-and-death situations there were early in the series, but Francine spaced them out after Regina Morrow died?

  10. Dwanollah says:

    This book traumatized me as a teen because, *poof*, you could just magically no longer be in love. What if that happened to me once I found my own Todd Wilkinsly Perfect Boy?!

    Liz is more annoyingly preachy than usual in this book. Ned and Alice bitching Jessica out for the messy kitchen when it’s Liz actually made me feel sorry for Jess.

  11. Amy Slutton says:

    I can’t tell by this scan but I’m pretty sure it’s this book cover, where it looks like Elizabeth forgot to pluck her mustache

  12. Stacy says:

    “They even go to a dance (it is Friday, after all).” Awesome. Did the “whole floor clear” for Jessica and/or Bruce at any point?

    The “perfect size six” message is annoying – about equal to the fact that Alice was always described as looking ‘more like the twins’ sister than their mother.’ That pisses me off.

  13. Stacy says:

    Okay, I’m back. Your blog is my new obsession…I had some weird need to start reading my SVH books again. Busted out the boxes, opened them, sprayed them with Raid, then returned a half hour or so later to start digging…

    I just finished Crash Landing, and holy crap. The two things that pissed me off the most were:
    1. Liz asks Collins to “borrow” his son for her “plan,” and he agrees with no idea what’s in store. Seriously, he’s supposed to be this great role model for the students (perviness aside), and yet loans his son out to a 16 year old for an experiment he knows nothing about? Come on.

    2. Liz gets a STANDING OVATION at the Dairi Burger after her little plan turns out to be “a total success.” Or, maybe “a complete success.” What the fuck?

    I can’t believe that when I was ten I used to wish I lived in Sweet Valley. I was an idiot.

    Also, does anyone else out there still have some weird feeling that anything size four or below is weirdly thin, and anything eight or above is kinda fat? (I am above an 8, btw). But, somehow, that a size 6 is…..what’s the word….perfect?

    These damn books had way more of an impact on me than I ever realized…it’s fun (in a scary way) to reread them. Hey, figuring my own shit out is cheaper than paying for therapy!

  14. Jo says:

    In the UK, a size six à la Jessica and Elizabeth would actually be a size ten UK. That made for really messed-up ideas of what is the “perfect” shape for my little primary school pupil self.

  15. imnotscared says:

    Actually teenagers DO take flying lessons. My friend doesn’t go to college and decided to take flying lessons instead and meets a lot of teenagers. You can begin young. You can get a full license by the time you’re 18. I don’t know if George is 18 though. I seriously can’t remember.

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