The one where Amy Sutton returns a changed woman or #27 Bitter Rivals

Wow, I forgot what a disgusting waste of human space Amy Sutton was. So, here we head back to the pettiness and shallowness that is the hallmark af our beloved SVH. It was actually kind of refreshing since the last book was actually proactively positive. Anyway, Liz gets word that Amy Sutton in moving back to SV after she moved to CT fir a few years. Liz is stoked, but Enid starts getting jealous after hearing how fabulous Amy is. Because she feels soooo honored to have Liz as her best friend, and doesn’t want to lose her. Gag.

I love how in the BSC they often describe outfits, but they don’t do that much in SVH except say that Liz wears cardigans and jean skirts, and Jess wears low cut dresses and skimpy bikinis. But this cover alone makes up for it. Enid has a mega-perm! And belted pleated pants (could they be Z. Cavariicci?) Liz has some matching pants! I think the belt is attached to the pants!The polo isn’t bad, it looks kind of hispterish. Amy’s got a wicked pink dress with a matching belt. Sadly, this would pass as pretty retro-stylish right now. In fact, I’m wearing leggings right now. (Shut up! They’re from American Apparel!)

Amy comes back and is not the fun-loving, tomboy that Liz remembers, she is so stylish and pretty and of course, very skinny. She also won’t shut up about all her boyfriends. Amy also doesn’t give a shit about Enid and is mean to her, but Liz doesn’t notice. Finally, at school, Amy is all popular and shit and makes the cheerleading squad and is all bffs with Lila, Cara, and Jessica. She has an actual crowd of admirers that literally follow her around.

If my memory serves me correctly, those three were horrendous towards Amy in the Sweet Valley Twins series. But, just as we learned in Power Play, the best revenge on your enemies is to conform to them and gain their approval. Sigh. If Amy was so fantastic, she should have arrived and when Lila and all them kissed up to her, she could be all fuck off and start her own clique.

Amy keeps standing Liz up and taking her for granted, but Liz is a total pushover and takes it bending over. Seriously, Liz is supposed to be sooo sensitive and a good friend, but practically forgets Enid at the drop of a hat if Amy calls. She and Enid are trying to plan a magical skiing weekend, and Liz insits in inviting Amy, but Amy keeps making them reschedule and Enid is PIIIIIISSSSED. For once, I feel bad for Enid.

So, Lila is having a party (as she does every fucking day) to introduce her friends to her cousin Christopher. Based on pictures and stuff, Amy has declared that she is in LUUUUVVV with him, and Lila plays pimp and decides that Christopher will be Amy’s boyf. It’s a costume party (a-gain) and Liz and Enid both come as skiers…without each other knowing. Theis makes Liz realizes that Enid is her true best friend. Also, it turns out that Christopher and Enid were actually camp counselors together a while back, and hangs out with Enid the whole party. Amy gets mad and confronts Enid and is all, back off bitch, you can’t have Christopher or Liz, they’re both mine. Great, just what SVH needs, another borderline personality disordered evil blond cheerleader. Liz finds out and FINALLY realizes Amy isn’t who she used to be. The moral is…I don’t know.

Other thoughts:

Lila’s parties are always large, catered affairs with themes and like, small, cut-up cucumber sandwhiches and pastries. These sound pretty hot for a Bat Mitzvah, but do you really expect high school students to show up and be okay with the fact that there is no booze? Oh, and Jessica goes as a sexy Cleopatra.

Amy wears a black jumpsuit and black cowboy boots out to lunch. Hawt.

Amy no longer gives a shit about schoolwork, because it takes a lot of time being popular, pretty and thin. Great role modeling, Francine.

Liz is so excited and takes like months planning a brunch with her Amy and Enid….at the Pancake House. Real classy. But then Amy only orders a grapefruit and judges Enid for getting pancakes and bacon.

There is something off about Enid and Liz’ relationship. It’s true that it is great when you have a friend you can talk about your problems with or talk about your life goals or whatever, but that is all Liz and Enid do. Seriously, they could have a little fun sometimes. Or just laugh as stupid shit. They never do. Sounds kind of boring. I’m just sayin’ you need a little of both.

My grade: B

What’s next? I haven’t really decided yet. Maybe the one where the Morrows move to town. Or maybe the one where the two students are engaged. I kind of feel like ragging on Bruce Patman, so maybe one with him in the central story, Or maybe when Todd moves away. The possibilities are endless!

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15 thoughts on “The one where Amy Sutton returns a changed woman or #27 Bitter Rivals

  1. Kellie says:

    I’m loving this blog, it’s all such a blast from the past. My recommendation for your next review is #13, Kidnapped. I found that book bizarre even as a child.

  2. Susan says:

    I remembered Amy was this tomboy jock in the SVT series.. does moving to CT make you a slut or something? lol.

    Great review!

  3. Kate says:

    I like the little blurb on the cover: “Will Liz have to choose between Amy and Enid?” It sounds like a lesbian love triangle to me…

  4. Mia says:

    “Lila’s parties are always large, catered affairs with themes and like, small, cut-up cucumber sandwhiches and pastries.”

    I so read “parties” as “panties” and was like WHA. I think I’d like it better if Lila’s (I just typed “Lulu’s – geesh) panties did have small cut-up cucumber sandwiches and pastries.

  5. Jacinda says:

    I swear, those SVH girls buy more ball gowns for Lila’s party during their Junior year than most normal people need in a lifetime. Outside of the prom, I never went to a party in high school that was as fancy as Lila’s weekly “best party ever.”

    Also, I always remember Amy saying that she hates herself if she weighs more than 110 pounds. Yeah…way to be realistic…

    • Regina Morrow says:

      I remember the 110 pound thing too! in fact thats most of what i remember from this book. That and Amy being total flaky, slut.

  6. Shannon says:

    Oh dang, Kellie you are so right. They ALWAYS seemed to look like they were in their 30’s.

    This was a fantastic write up of the book. You are so awesome. 🙂

    Funny how when I read the series when I was a tween, I believed this was what HS was really like. Boy was I in for a shock. LOL

    It’s also strange how the people always move to the other coast. Todd to Vermont, Amy to CT.
    I know Jeffrey came from Oregon, but still…

  7. Winnie Egbert says:

    I’m so lame – Amy’s favorite food in the SVT series was peanut butter and pickles. Maybe that’s why she’s turned off of eating.

    I always wondered – when did Cara come into the picture? She has no backstory, but she was never in the earlier books. Creepy. Maybe she secretly wanted to marry Steven for a legitimate identity.

    I know this sounds scary but I grew up in a small orange-grovey SoCal town near mountains and beaches. I kinda look like the twins, as did a lot of the people I went to school with and it was totally rich and cliquey and occasionally racist. I also expected when I was younger that high school would mirror the books, minus the weekly motorcycle crashes, leukemia deaths, and Shakespearean love triangles. Little did I know that I would turn out to be the Winston Egbert in real life. Minus the invites to Lila’s House of Parties 😉

  8. Onnie says:

    was it back in the twins series when amy wanted to be part of the unicorn group? and she did some kind of friggin baton routine??? or am i mixing this up with some other story line in SVH with the beauty pageant?

  9. Rio says:

    Onnie, it was SVT #4, Choosing Sides. Amy wants to join the Boosters, or the Unicorns 2.0 + Winston (swear to fucking God). She starts out as an inept baton-twirler, gets better after copious amounts of practice, then shocks everyone by being more talented than they are. They let her on the squad with their tails between their legs.

    Also, Ken Matthews wants to join the basketball team, despite being absurdly short. He becomes the butt of Patman’s jokes for a while (he calls him “midget”; originality, thy name is Bruce), then shows HIM up.

    Also, Amy and Ken have a sort-of crush on each other, and Elizabeth meddles with them both. And Jessica is an absolute twat throughout it all. Natch.

  10. Deitra says:

    Actually it was Jessica,Lila and Lila’s older eight grade cousin Janet who were mean to Amy in SVT’ Not everyone from Sweet Valley kids made it to Sweet valley twins and Sweet valley High the few that did from the age of seven to sixteen are :

    The twins(duh)

    Ken Matthews

    Todd Wilkins

    Winston Egbert

    Lila Fowler

    Ellen Riteman only made it to Sweet valley twins then disappeared

    Robin Wilson

    Lois Wallace gets briefly mentioned in Sweet valley High.

    Everyone else was never heard from again after their brief stint

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