So this is it. This is this blog’s raison d’etre. This is the most memorable storyline. Usually when you get into a plot this contrived, it is because you’ve run out of ideas. But Francine goes in for the kill and does this at book eight. Ok, here we go.
Todd looks 47. But he has a good body. And Liz looks like Hayley Mills.
Todd wants a motorcycle, but Liz is forbidden to ride a motorcycle because her parents won’t let her because her cousin died on one. Liz is afraid to tell Todd this because….why? If he loves her that much, he’ll understand. I guess. I don’t know. I am not in the place to give Todd and Liz relationship advice.
Finally Tood gets the bike and everyone is all about it. He gets into a run in at The Dairi Burger with Jerry “Crunch” McAllistar and assuages the situation by letting his ride the bike. Oh yea, The Dairi Burder is having a grand reopening and is serving a clam special. As if that was integral to the plot.
Finally, Liz tells him about the rule and he goes on to this three-page diatribe about the wonders of riding a motorcycle, as if Francine was fucking one of the owners of Yamaha and had to put it in the book. He decides to keep the motorcycle. Meanwhile, he gives other girls rides and it makes Liz jealous. Finally, they all go to Enid’s Sweet Sixteen (which sounds about as cool as my BAt Mitzvah was) and Jessica was supposed to drive Liz to the afterparty spot, but of course is too busy sucking face at Millar’s Point and forgets. Tood shows up to tell Liz he sold his motorcycle, and she decides to take one chance to ride it for old times’ sake. Then “Crutch” hits them and they crash. Liz is in a coma….
Also? Mr. Collins chaperones Enid’s Sweet Sixteen. Creepy much?
My grade: B