The one where Jessica blushes a lot, or #48 Slam Book Fever

Let me start by saying that I love describing anything as ____ fever. I’m going to make a conscious effort to use it in my everyday vernacular. I am moving next week and my apartment is like “box fever”. Like tomorrow at work I am going to casually say, “It’s like paperwork fever in here!” I’ll let you know if it catches on.

Also, this is a PRIME SVH book. Blackstabbing, gossip, crushes, etc.- this is SVH at its best! (worst)

Ok. Amy Sutton wants everyone to start Slam Books. Apparently, they were all the rage when she lives in Connecticut. Wait, hold up. I lived in CT for three years and I did not see one Slam Book. Damn, Francine, everything else is so realistic, why make stuff like this up? For those of you not in the know, Slam Books are where you write categories like “biggest flirt” and “best couple” and all those catty categories and people anonymously write in people’s names.

So, are you ready? This one is confusing. So, Jessica has a crush on the new boy, A.J., but feels all awkward and shy around him, so she doesn’t want anyone to know she likes him. Meanwhile, Elizabeth is jealous because her boyf Jeffrey (Todd moved to Vermont like, 20 books ago) is spending time with Olivia Davidson working on a literary magazine. So, someone writes in the Slambooks that Jeffrey and Olivia are the “couple of the future” in order to make Liz suspicious. So she gets mad at Jeffrey and decides to flirt with A.J. after someone but her and A.J. as the couple of the future, which makes Jessica furious at Liz. Finally, they find out Lila is behind all of it, because she wants Jeffrey for herself. Oh, that Lila. Also, A.J. is interested in Jessica, because he thinks she is shy and reserved, and Elizabeth is too pushy and flirtatious. OH THE IRONY!

Some thoughts:

I love how Amy Sutton introduces the concept to them and is all “make sure everyone knows it was my idea”. That’s kind of something I would do.

I am pretty sure Jeffrey French is gay. I am going on pure stereotypes here, but

1. He insists on being called Jeffrey, not Jeff.

2. He works on a literary magazine.

3. He mostly hugs Liz, whereas she and Todd would suck face all the time.

This was totally fake. A.J. was standing around talking with Aaron Dallas (captain of the soccer team) and som other jock discussung the twins. He says something like “Jessica seems so quiet and friendly. I’d love to get to know her.” Yes, I am sure that is exactly how high school boys talk.

Mr. Collins, The Oracle Faculty advisor, threw a party for Olivia when she finished the literary magazine. As in, brought in tons of food and hung up banners. Get a life! Also, you’re a pervert! Stop spending times throwing parties for high school girls.

Someone wrote Jessica in the category: “Most Likely to Have Six Kids”. Hahahaha, they called her a whore.

At the beach, Lila’s beach towel says “THE RITZ HOTEL” on it, and she perches on the edge so everyone can see the writing on it. Bwah.

Blech, Elizabeth and Jeffrey. Their dates consist of things like a picnic in the park after school. They are sixteen- what happened to groping each other in her parents’ living room? They act like they are 80. I never thought I’d say I prefer to read about her fights with Todd.

Now, the cover.

God, Jessica looks so annoying. By the looks of Amy’s face, you can tell she’s thinking “bitch please, leave me alone so I can write your ass in my slam book.” I also had a sweater exactly like Jessica is wearing. Or did I have it BECAUSE Jessica was wearing it? Hmmmm.

WHERE ARE THE ADULTS TO MONITOR THE SLAM BOOKS? How is this appropriate for school? I also love how when Amy tells them about it, they all think it will be a great idea and it will be harmless fun.

Ok, so you would think the lesson of this story is that slam books and rumors and gossip are destructive. Good old Francine, trying to make a buck. Here was an add in the back of the book. Your for only $3.95! Plus $5.96 shipping and handling!

If you’ve read Slambook Fever, you know that Slam Books are the rage at Sweet Valley High. Now you can have a slam book of your own! Make up your own categories, such as “Biggest Jock” or “Best Looking”, and have your friends fill in the rest! There’s a four page calendar, horoscopes and questions most asked by Sweet Valley readers with answers from Elizabeth and Jessica.

Did she read her own book? Did she not see what damage it did? And before you ask, yes, I do want to get my hands on a copy. I’ve already combed ebay looking for it.

Ok, confession. I read this when I was 10, and I decided to try and start a slam book in my fifth grade class. I wrote people’s names on some pages, but ended up only writing descriptions of the people like, “Sue has brown hair”. God, I sucked at slam booking.

My grade: A-

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31 thoughts on “The one where Jessica blushes a lot, or #48 Slam Book Fever

  1. Onnie says:

    Lila always has to be such a spoiled bitch, and yet, everyone still talks to her and Jessica is still her best friend, even though Lila has tried to dick over both J and L. speaking of fav books – I love it when Todd comes back, and L dumps Jeffrey, and the one when L turns into a cheerleader to help J out…don’t have them? let me know, i will fedex ’em to you!

  2. Onnie says:

    oh crap – i def remember that one – but i cannot remember what trilogy it was a part of…darn it…yeah remember how todd was trying to be all domesticated and cooked? hahaha

  3. Jane says:

    I tried SOOOOO hard to start a slam book, several times after reading several books about them. They never caught on. Guess I should have spent more time in the real world rather thanthe book world back in the day

  4. kiwimusume says:

    I think the domesticated!Todd one may have been the trilogy where they’re trying to get Lila’s parents back together, but I could be wrong…*checks booklist* Yep! It’s #102 – Almost Married.

  5. olivia says:

    I remember this one. I remember at the time I asked my mom about it and she said they were popular when she was in high school. In the 60s. Way to be up on the trends, Francine.

  6. Lois Waller says:

    Anyone remember that Ann M. Martin novel (not a babysitters club book) that was called “Slam Book” in which a character committed suicide because of a Slam Book? It was a bit more heavy handed…

  7. Lois Waller says:

    haha. indeed she was. but i mean, what do you expect when her name was Lois Waller?

    And in that vein, could “Enid Rollins” have ever been anything but a nerd?

  8. nellswell says:

    I had that slam book!! It was more of a Sweet Valley Twins thing. It had a pink cover. I’d forgotten all about it. I soooo wish I still had it, it would be hilarious to read the answers!

    I love the blog, by the way!! (just came across it today…)

  9. Deathy says:

    We had a slam book back in fifth grade and some people wrote some pretty nasty crap in it. Mostly about the one girl in the class that was really overweight. Kids are such bitches. We got in trouble.

  10. brandname says:

    We had slam books in the fifth grade too, but they were ones that you bought in stores with pre-assigned categories. I want to say there were stickers too. Anyway, just like snap bracelets and flip flops, they were eventually banned.

  11. Cat says:

    I actually had the official Sweet Valley High slambook. I was the coolest person in the 5th grade for about five minutes because of it! (Which is saying something because I was a huge nerd in 5th grade.)

    It did have preprinted categories, and in some of those categories, names of SVH characters were already “written” in! I should go dig it up, I think it is still sitting on the bookshelf in my old room at my parents’ house!

    And yeah, they were eventually banned at my school, too.

  12. Amy Slutton says:

    I always loved this cover lol. I still wish I could find a sweater like that!!

    Haha I remember at the end of this one Jessica is already desperately trying to act more “nerdy” to attract AJ. I can’t wait for the recap of Playing for Keeps šŸ˜€

  13. Nester says:

    Amy Slutton, I love Jessica’s sweater to this day. I had the official Slam Book, but it never left my house! Too embarrassed to show it to anyone. I swear I was the only person in my school who read SVH, Sleepover Friends, Taffy Sinclair, BSC, etc. Perhaps I was the only person in my school to read….

  14. James says:

    i was a huge jeffrey french fan because he reminded me of, well…me. and, not to sound gay or anything, but he was probably one of the more attractively drawn characters on the sweet valley high covers he was on (see #35 out of control and #58 brokenhearted). he looked like a wholesome boy from the 50s, lol. Unfortunately, i chose to pattern my “game” after his and paid for it dearly. the guy was as dull as as my freshman yr. literature class

    and what’s with liz acting all jessica because of what someone wrote in a slam book about her boyfriend?? logically she chose to take it out on…her boyfriend? isn’t she supposed to be the reasonable one? i love having people acting out of character for the sake of a plot (no, i really don’t).

  15. BurtonFanatic says:

    Yeah, I don’t know what it is, but I love Jessica’s sweater too. I am actually wearing a black and grey one that is similar to it. (A xmas present from NY&Co.)
    I had a slam book in 5th grade too! But it was SUPER lame like “Favorite Drink, Favorite Sport, Favorite teacher”… my school was so lame.

  16. LimeGreenTriumph says:

    I think I had the official slam book too….I remember the SVH names already written in there….like Liz and Jess were both “Most Popular” or some crap…

  17. Rio says:

    Ugh. I tried to make a Slam Book with my best friend in seventh grade (I still hadn’t developed taste in books by then), and it was a dismal failure. First of all, it was just a few sheets of graph paper stapled together. Second, someone got a hold of it before we could finish it and laughed their ass off at it. Third, my best friend’s ideas for categories weren’t exactly, I dunno, GOOD:

    “Best Dressed”
    “Best Fashion Sense”
    “Best Clothes”

    Yes, the girls in my class were obsessed with garments, thanks for asking. Also:

    “Funkiest”
    “Most Hip”

    WTF?

  18. Rio says:

    ā€œJessica seems so quiet and friendly. Iā€™d love to get to know her.ā€

    Oh. Fucking. Please. If the ghostwriter had any balls, she would have written what guys that age would really say: “She’s hot. I’d so hit it.”

  19. A.S. says:

    I totes started a Slam Book after reading this is 6th grade. But I went to a practically all-black school outside of Detroit and the kids all just wrote in it to humor me, not to mention most of the entries were actually nice/sweet/overly generous … Real life is so boring. No wonder I eschewed my multicultural life to read about WASPy homogenous SVH!

  20. Lila Fowler says:

    Years ago I came across the SVH Slam Book in a 2nd hand store. It was like finding gold! I still have it too along with my 200+ beloved SVK,SVT,SVH,SVU collection. Such a nerd!

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