The one where they think they’re in a baby sitters’ club book, or Super Edition: Malibu Summer

I don’t know what makes this a super edition. Maybe because it’s about 20 pages longer than the usual book? In case we forgot that Elizabeth is the Madonna and Jessica is the whore, Liz gets to wear a hideously conservative suit and Jess gets the bikini.

So, it’s summer vacation and I am pretty sure the next book after this they are back in their junior year. Whatevs. That won’t keep me up at night. Jessica wants to work in Malibu as mother’s helpers, so she convinces (i.e. manipluates) Liz into giving up her job at the Sweet Valley news to do it with her. She even makes Liz interview for her as well. That’s ethical. Jessica takes a job at a small house with a baby because the family are cousins of Tony Sargent, a famous singer. This is someone that was just mentioned here, and I am pretty sure will never be mentioned again after this book. Liz gets a job in a large rich house for a girl that is unloved and neglected. Weird, because I just caught Uptown Girls yesterday. Of course, Liz, at sixteen, teaches them how to raise their child and how to treat each other. Blech.

This one was so bad and tedious I can barely tell you the rest. If I wanted a book about mother’s helpers, I would read Sunet Island. For reals. So….Tony Sargent, the singer, needs to hide out because apparently he banged a groupie and now her boyfriend wants to kill him. So he hides out at his cousin’s house and poses as a Yale senior. Elizabeth meets him when she is over covering for Jessica and they fall in love. Because he likes books. But he is 21! and too old! Her parents won’t approve, so she is struggling. Yelllooooo, you’re in Malibu without them, stop being such a LOOOOOOSSSSER, Liz. Seriously, this is so unrealistic. I think they are trying to create a good role model character, but Jesus H Christ I want to fucking punch Elizabeth. Ok, so there is some sort of big rainstorm and the little neglected girl runs away and Liz runs away with the singer. Jessica saves the little girl from being swept away by the storm and the stalker finds Elizabeth and the guy and attempts to kill him. Ho-hum.

All is well, but Elizabeth is mad when she finds her lovah is really Tony Sargent undercover. She is mad? Pleez. Also, they can never really have a relationship because he is such a big celeb. So she has to give him up. um, WHAT? This put me over the edge. Yea, it couldn’t work, but if you had the chance to DATE a celeb, you TAKE IT! I am nearing thirty and if I made out with a celeb, even B-List, I’d do it! Liz is such a fucking grandma!!!!!!! I am acting as if I am surprised that SVH is unrealistic.

Other thoughts:

Elizabeth talks shit about Lila yet hangs out with her all summer. Just sayin’.

Because Jessica and Lila are sooooooo pretty, they pick up guys wherever they go. Lila picks up a guy at the mall (so unlike her). Turns out he is a younger guy and he hides that fact from her (geeeee, we’ve never seen THAT plot device before.

My grade: C-

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12 thoughts on “The one where they think they’re in a baby sitters’ club book, or Super Edition: Malibu Summer

  1. Lisa says:

    I just started reading your blog, and I LOVE it!! I remember reading this book in particular, and just being HEARTBROKEN at the end when Elizabeth is at Tony Sargent’s concert, and he sings a song he wrote just. for. her. Swooooooon!!!

  2. Sarah says:

    I seem to remember Tony singing a song to/about Elizabeth:

    Summer girl just one brief look
    One stolen moment that was all it took
    All my life I’ve waited for
    A girl who was different, a girl who was more
    I knew we didn’t have very long
    Time for a kiss, time for a song
    But summer girl, I think I always knew
    My whole life, that it was you

    I typed this from memory. I think as a child I made up a tune for it and sang it to myself.

    Of course Elizabeth is so wonderful that men are always spontaneously falling in love with her (Nicholas Morrow?) so this song might actually be sung by another famous singer from another summer super edition.

  3. James says:

    i remember thinking this book was a gigantic waste of time…turns out i was right. Love the cover, though. James Matthewuse made the twins super hot

  4. Claire in Melb says:

    “Wherever I go in this big, cold world,
    I’ll be thinking of you, my summer girl”

    You’re not completely alone in the wilderness, Sarah… although a whole verse is a tiny bit scary!!

    I really fancied Tony’s cover character, Jamie, which just shows what a nerd I was even at 10yo. And now I’m posting two years after everyone else. [sighs]

  5. TeeKai says:

    Don’t feel badly, CiM! I just discovered this site myself. I HATE that I missed all the discussions back when they were brand-new, but I’m having a marvelous time viewing the hilarious recaps AND the snarky comments as well!

  6. Deitra says:

    I remember this book,I read it when I was thirteen,The little girl was a brat and had purple eyes and I think Lila got stuck with a baby too.

  7. Goldray says:

    Sounds like the song written to Elizabeth was written by the same person who wrote the soundtrack for the Sweet Valley High television show.

  8. OliveBell says:

    “Look right down on a crowded hall
    You see there’s a beauty standing
    Is she really everywhere?
    Or a reflection?
    One girl goes right up to you
    The other’s shy and quiet
    Could there really be two girls who look the same at
    Sweeet Valleeeey,” etc

    Again, from memory. How sad …!

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