Ned: Oh hi Alice. Alice: Oh…hey Ned. Ned: Wow, you look really sexy. Alice: I guess. My mother has breast cancer. And I just got a big interior decorating design job at the mall, so I won’t be around more. Ned: Wow, that’s great Alice. Haha. Alice: Did you get the big case at work? … Continue reading »
Tagged with marriage …
Steven’s Bride: The Condensed Version
[Cover courtesy of The Closet] Steven: Oh noes! Cara is moving to London! Jessica: Why don’t you marry her? That way she won’t have to move. Steven: What a great idea! Jess, your ideas always work, so I will do it! – Steven: Cara, will you marry me? Cara: Marriage! That means my own apartment, … Continue reading »
Who’s to Blame…for this steaming pile of crap called a book
Jimmy really earned his paycheck on this cover. Love how Liz is wiping away the single tear. Previously, Ned and Alice were having marriage trouble. Ned has moved out temporarily to try and work things out or something. They keep mentioning that it is temporary, so why is everyone all upset? On the other hand, … Continue reading »
A Sorta Fairy Tale; #91 In love with A Prince
Dana: Ugh! Everyone is fawning all over the Prince of Santa Dora that has come to Sweet Valley. I’m so disgusted. Because I’m an individual. Prince Arthur: My oh my! Dana is such a spunky American woman! She’s getting my royal britches in a bunch. Dana: I am a spunky individual! Therefore, I need to … Continue reading »
The Patmans of Sweet Valley: An English country estate
Have you been up at night wondering about the accomplishments of an incredibly privileged and hateful family? Look no further. We get to meet the people that have built the Patman social strata. This one is a magna edition, which means it is over two hundred pages. I am going to split it up because … Continue reading »
The one where yet again no boy can resist Jessica or #107 Jessica’s Secret Love
Jessica’s guy looks like an insurance salesman. Wow, I gess after the whole getting chased by lunatic werewolves, I guess plots that matter are hard to come by. This was written by a 12 year old. Sigh. Another book where Jessica is validated simply for being a skinny blonde. So the twins are home from … Continue reading »
The one where Liz and Todd go to the videomat, or #102 Almost Married
Alrghty, if you remember last time, Bruce’ Dad and Liz’s mom were supposedly having an affair. Liz’s Mom is jetting off again to Chicago to work for Hank “Hanky Panky” Patman and Ned is off in a lawyer business trip. I think these ghostwriters actually have no clue what lawyers/interior designers do. You’d think they … Continue reading »
The one with the star-crossed lovers or #34, Forbidden Love
Ok, I want t get through this one quickly, because I just got a whole new batch of SVHs in the early 100s and am anxious to do those. Like when they get chased by werewolves and shit. Someone gave me an ebay gift certificate from my birthday and I was in a major biddng … Continue reading »
