I came to a realization with a friend the other day (because we somehow incorporate the BSC into everyday convo) and that many of the BSC parents are our age, especially if they have younger children. Weird! So what’s up with their lives? I’ve always wondered:

• why do they let 13 year olds not only babysit, but constantly allow them to take their kids in baby parades, impromptu day camps and arts classes?
• So any one them hang out with each other? What’s the scene like? Is Jamie Newton’s dad secretly diddling Ms. Prezzioso? Does Dr. Johansen host key parties? I wonder if there is a seedy bar in Stoneybrook, similar to Kelly’s.
• Ms. Shaefer/Mrs. Spier otherwise know as Sharon. Cleary she takes hallucinagens and/or smokes copious amounts of weed. Why else would she leave shoes in the fridge and wear dishpans as underwear or whatever other weird stuff she does. Hmmmm…why did Mr. Shaefer leave her?
• Mr. and Mrs. Pike: Jeez, stop fornicating like bunnies. What’s the rush? Trying to start a cult?
• Ms. Thomas/ Mrs. Brewer: here’s the real mystery. How does a single mom have time to snag herself a millionaire? I’d love to hear that story. What about Emily- I think that she’s really the bastard child of some Stoneybrook teenager.
• Can someone call Child Protection Services on Mrs. Barrett? Isn’t Marni left with a three-day old diaper on her?

Whoa! My eyes! A forest green cardigan with an olive green skirt! It’s like she dressed like baby puke. The look on the little girl’s face is painful. What the hell did she do to deserve those looks of utter disappointment and punishment? Try to steal the rhino bones?

So lots of other retro YA blogs have pointed out Stacey’s shitty attitude, and remembering this book, it totally makes sense. She invites the gang in New York and then gets annoyed at them the whole time, because they are not “New York cool” enough.  And conveniently there are children running the streets who are in need of babysitters. Well, what an opportunity for the BSC! Because even on vacation, they need to babysit. Although, I do get this one confused with the Super Special where they go to New York.

I remember how Stacy was all hot shit about living in New York, but from what I remember just hung out at Bloomingdale’s and like, the Empire State Building. Really, nothing that actual New Yorkers do. I mean she is a kid, but even city kids have a clue about the real New York. Although I do remember her taking cabs around the city by herself. Like it was the most normal thing ever. At thirteen? I don’t know about that. Although, back in the eighties, New York was still pretty dangerous, so the subways were probably worse. (Now NYC is one big Bed, Bath and Beyond, so I can see it happening now). I also recall there being a homeless woman that lived outside her apartment building, and she treated it as just another quaint feature about living in New York. Like her fucking purpose is to remind Stacey that she lives in New York.

Oh yea, and Laine Cummings was a holier than thou friend because she got mad when Stacy wet the bed once and she has permed hair. And lives in the Dakota. Which, as we are reminded almost as much as we are told Jessi is Black, is where Rosemanry’s Baby was filmed.

I don’t even remember how it ends, I guess they all make up and Kristy says some gross comment about food and they all have a good laugh over it.

I am continuuing to remember my favorite BSC books, this being one of them. The basic plot? Kristy gets a regular sitting job (they get like thousands of regular sitting jobs that last exactly one book) for Susan, who is autistic. Kristy tries to make Susan “normal” so her mother won’t send her away to a specialized school. Finally, Susan does go away. Probably for the better. Who is Kristy to deny her a good education and the attention she needs? Kristy is such a fucking egomaniac.

That leads me to something else: who in their right mind would leave their severely autistic child in the hands of a thirteen year old? From what I remember, Susan doesn’t even communicate.

This book sparked my keen interest in autism as a subject. I think because this book didn’t exactly explain autism very well. Firstly, it led me to believe that all individuals with autism have some like special super power (i.e. Susan playing any piece on the piano by heart). Also, it described Susan as being “inside herself in her own world” which I guess could be an accurate description, but I took it too literally. As in, while she is walking around Stoneybrook, her mind was in another dimension and she was talking with magical elves and dragons. I mean, she may very well be, but I couldn’t really comprehend it. After that, my mother rented Rain Man for me, which I think was my first R-rated movie. Then I did a whole research paper on autism for school and got acolades and shit. Thanks, Baby-Sitters Club!

One other thing that I kind of remember about this one was that Kristy was surprised that Susan was so pretty. As if being differently-abled automatically disqualifies you from being good-looking. And she took Susan to hang out with the other kids and tried to get her to act “normal” but she just did “weird” things.

In my work now I work with some individuals with varying levels of autism and when I work with them I still sometimes think about Susan! Goddam you BSC!

Kristy has a very “you are so fucking pathetic so I need to butt in and help you change your life” look that reminds us of a certain blond twin.

Wow, after I stopped reading the series, the BSC got really cranky and was more interested in cutting each other down. I just read this one for the first time, because you know my feelings about super specials. What a mess.

So SMS is putting on a play- Peter Pan, and it’s really a district-wide thing, because kids from the high school and elementary school are also auditioning. Because the producer, Mr. Cheney, must be on crack. Because putting on a play with lots of little kids is a good idea. Chya. BUT of course that allows the BSC to further hang out with little kids in their free time, which we know they love to do.

I don’t know who Watson paid off or Kristy’s Mom slept with, because Kristy has the lead as Peter Pan and Karen and David Michael get major roles. Karen is the most spoiled brat on the planet. She throws a temper tantrum because she wants to play Tinkerbell in the human form and wear a fairy costume, and the school gives in. And THEN she screams she wants fairy dust. Oh, dear god, how I hate this child.

Jessi is so sure that she will get the role of Peter Pan and is overconfident and then is bitchy to everyone when she gets a small part. Eventually Mr. Cheney makes her assistant choreographer, because it’s a genius idea for an eleven year old to be in charge of that. When Jessi sees that she is not listed as “assistant producer” in the program, she takes her name out. She is really a bitter brat almost on the Karen level. Jessi is black, btw.

Mary Anne of course doesn’t want a part, but she hangs out with the kids anyway so Mr. Cheney makes her the “backstage babysitter” so of course Mary Anne foams at the mouth and is all proud to work for free. In fact, she gets pissed when Mallory tries to talk to her OWN brothers and sisters, who are all conveniently in the play as well and MA gets all huffy and is all, “I’M the backstage babysitter, so fuck off Mallory.” Geez, the older members still get a kick of acting superior over their “junior members.”

Mal’s plot is that she is the assistant costume whatever, and is embarassed to take the boys’ measurements. Thrilling.

Logan is a pirate and acts like a tool and gets kicked out of the play but then asked back. He gets a chapter from his perspective, and thank god it wasn’t written with his southern accent, which the writer usually likes to express phonetically.

Claudia’s painting scenery and is afraid it will fall over. Again, thrilling.

Stacey is dating Sam Thomas and is pissed he never introduces her to his high school friends. She and Sam are cast as Mr. And Mrs. Darling and she is all embarassed when Sam loves to joke about them being married. Shut up Stacey, you got what you wanted, why are you so pissed. Sam, in his chapter, describes Stacey as “gorgeous, sophisticated, and popular” when in fact she is not so popular because she only hangs out with the BSC (until she grows some ovaries later on in the series). So really, by that theory, Kristy is as popular as Stacey.

Jackie Rodowsly is cast as the youngest Darling child, and of course hilarity ensues when he falls all over the place. THEN WHY CAST HIM? Although, I always felt bad for Jackie, he seems like a sweet kid but the BSC hate all over him.

Cokie gets a chapter! I have to say, I am with her in her mocking of the BSC, they are pretty lame, cliquey…AND LOVE TO HANG OUT WITH LITTLE KIDS! I wish she had her own series. She plays Tiger Lilly and gets annoyed when Kristy can’t remember her lines, which IS annoying.

Dawn, the hippy drippy California gal, decides that the play is pretty sexist and wants to update it. Of course, none of the BSC support her in this and just bitch at her to say the right lines. Meanwhile, Kristy, try to remember your freaking lines and maybe act GRATEFUL that you got the lead. I think Kristy and Dawn still have that tension over sharing MA as a bff. Is MA really worth it?

‘Member how the Super Specials have illustrations? And how the girls always look really fugly? They also never have them in fun outfits, like they talk about. And they give Mallory hideous Sally Jesse Raphael glasses. The cover though, is like the most awesome ever. Kristy looks pretty great, actually, and Dawn looks Nicole-Ritchie skinny. Claudia’s outfit- not thrilling. MA looks gorgeous. Logan looks about nine years old.

I can’t deal with all the handwritten stuff, it’s so annoying. Don’t even get me started on Claudia’s stupidosity, but Jessi’s swoopy writing makes me want to gauge my eyes out. Every Super Special has one person requiring others to keep a written account of something, like they give each other fucking homework. Taking a relaxing vacation? Let’s make a mandatory scrapbook. Your friends are missing at sea after a big storm? LET’S MAKE A JOURNAL TO DOCUMENT OUR PAIN! In this one, Jessi gets a job at the SMS newspaper and is writing about people’s experience in the play so she makes everyone submit notes to her.

So maybe it’s a new lens I am looking through, but the BSC seem to be squabbling with each other more than being besties…kinda burst my bubble when I used to read these and dream one day to have a group of friends like the BSC. And I wish that Jessi and Mallory would step up and tell the older members to stop treating them like children…but oh wait, they are.

Hey, remember those episodes of Head of the Class where they would put on the musical? And the cast consisted of basically ONLY the students from the one class and no one else in the school was in it? This is like it. Besides the BSC, and all the kids they sit for, there are like, five people not BSC-related. What is this, an episode of Saved By the Bell?

Many of you mentioned this as a memorable BSC book, so I decided to reread it. In fact, my parents just camr to visit me from Florida, and before they came I insisted they go up in the attic, search through my huge collection of old books, and bring it with them on the plane. Thanks mom!

This one was fucking overloaded with outfit descriptions. I guess when the BSC ghostwriters get stuck, they just describe every detail of someone’s outfit.

All Mal wants to do is get her ears pierced and to look “cooler” and pierced ears are her gateway to cool world. In fact, she goes to the mall just to watch people get their ears pierced and salivates. Until Margo almost throws up. That girl sure did vomit a lot.

Mallory is always so intimidated by the rest of the BSC. Kristy maybe because she’s a cold hearted beast, but she is really in awe of Claudia, mostly because she dresses like a mental patient. And Dawn because she’s so unique. Remember how every five seconds we had to hear how unique Dawn was? If she was so unique, why did she always settle for being Maryanne’s OTHER best friend? Also, I can’t believe that Mal and Jessi are ELEVEN! Would someone really leave their kid with an eleven year old?

Mallory is obsessed with pierced ears, so much that at the BSC meeting she practically orgasms over the earrings present. “Claudia was wearing earrings that looked like little red sneakers….Dawn had clip on turquoise triangles.” How Golden Girls of her.

Oh yea, plot. Mal gets a regular job sitting for the Arnold twins who are totally identical and their deranged mother dresses them identically but they are really pissed because they want their own identities. And they get snotty with Mal until she buys them birthday presents that are catered to their individual interests and that makes them like her and she helps them talk to their mother about it. Because all parents love eleven year olds how to raise their children. But that gives Mal the chutzpa to talk about her own parents about her need to look cooler, and they let her pierce her ears and cut her hair and buy clothes with her own money. oooo, how rebellious.

Fuck plot. Back to the outfits.

We get lots of twin outfit descriptions. “Both girls were wearing blue kilts with straps that went over the shoulders [as opposed to under?], white blouses with lace edging and collars and sleeves, white knee socks, and black patent leather Mary Jane shoes. Their brown hair was cut in a bowl shape, framing their faces, and each twin had a blue headband with a blue bow on the side of it.”

Mrs. Arnold dresses like an Orlando prostitute: “In a moment a fussy-looking woman came down the stairs. Do you know what I mean by fussy? I mean, everything about her was too much and too cute. She was wearing two necklaces, a pin, bracelets on each wrist, rings, earrings, and even an ankle bracelet. Her stockings were lacey, and she was, well, as Claud might have said, overly accessorized. [Claud should talk.] There were bows on her shoes, a bow on her belt, a bow in her hair, and a bow at the neck of her blouse. Her sweater was beaded and she hadn’t forgotten to pin a fake rose to it. Whew! As for cute, her earrings were in the shape of ladybugs, one of her necklaces spelled her name- Linda- in gold script, her pin was in the shape of a mouse, and the bow in her hair was a ribbon with a print of tiny ducks on it.”

Mallory gets a hard on exaaming the BSC’s outfits during the meeting. Claudia: “Her long hair was fixed in about a million tiny braids which were pulled back behind her head with a column of puffy ponytail holders. She was wearing a T-shirt she painted herself, tight blue pants that ended just past her knees, push down socks, and no shoes. From her ears dangled small baskets of fruit. She’d made those, I knew. She’s found the baskets and the fruits at a store that sells miniatures. Claudia amazes me.” I don’t understand, was the word capri pants not invented yet?

“Maryanne was wearing a short, plum-colored skirt over a plum-and-white-striped body suit. The legs of the bodysuit stopped just above her ankles, [as opposed to past her ankles?] and she’s tucked the bottoms into her socks. The neat thing about the outfit was that she was wearing suspenders.” Maryanne was wearing a bodystocking? I just can’t picture it. What a pain to deal with when you have to pee.

Mallory would copy Dawn’s entire outfit. “Dawn was wearing oversized (really oversized) blue shirt. [yes nothing more flattering than making youself look like a potato sack.]One of the coolest things about it was that it was green inside, so that when she turned the collar down and rolled the sleeves up, you could see those nice touches of green at her neck and wrists. She was wearing a green skirt- and clogs. I’d never seen a person actually wearing clogs, just photos of people in Sweden.” Dawn is SO ORIGINAL!!!! Haven’t you heard?

Mal takes the twins to the mall to get their new clothes. One of the twins gets a Jean skirt and ruffly white blouse. The other gets a sweatshirt with gold moon and stars on it, and “cool jeans”. Whaddya gonna do, they’re eight. Come to think of it, Mallory is eleven, only three years older than the kids she sits. While at the mall, Mallory buys blue push-down socks and has an aneurysm she is so excited. Does she mean slouch socks? Those are cool and her mother didn’t buy her those previously? Remember when you wore about three pairs at once and then your shoes wouldn’t fit?

She also buys earrings for herself and Jessi that look like open books. And she wants her ears pierced to be cool? I may as well buy a tapestry vest with cats embroidered on it.

Later the BSC accompany Jessi and Mal to the mall when they get their ears pierced. Claudia gets a second hole in one ear and Dawn calls her mom to get permission, and her mom lets fer get two in each ear. Probably because her Mom was drunk and was busy storing her shoes in the fridge. Mallory also gets her haircut to be short and fluffy. Um, cool?

Kristy is such an asshole during meetings. And she wears a fucking visor. Unless she is a banker from the 1940s, that is ridiculous. And Claudia eating all the junkfood and being skinny? I hate that.

I kind of forgot about the BSC notebook, which is ridiculous and such a waste of time. And we get some obnoxious entires that were written by two sitters that read like a dialogue. “Wow this was the worst sitting job ever!” “You can say that again!” “It was crazy!” “I know!” I’m paraphrasing, but still.

Claudia sits for the Arnold twins once and she hates them. “Malery, you can have the twines,” she writes. First of all, what kind of moron can’t even spell their friend’s name? And I am so over her bad spelling. Seriously, mom and Dad, get her a fucking tutor.

And with that, I am off to start reading the 6 new Caitlin books I just got in the mail. Life is good.

UPDATE: If you want to see Claudia Kishi’s impact on fashion, read some Blue States Lose columns from Gawker.

I’m sad to see the demise of the fantastic blog BSC Headquarters, and because of it I haven’t really ventured into rereading my BSC books. I don’t plan on rereading all of them (I’ve got my hands full with the twins and Caitlin) but I am going to occasionally reminisce about the memorable moment for me. Little known fact: I only really read up to #45 (For me, Kristy organizing the baby parade really jumped the shark). I wanted to share what I find to be the without a doubt, best BSC book ever, and should I DARE say one of the best YA series books ever.

Are you ready for it?

Continue reading →

The Cali Diaries were way after my time…but I was always intrigued. It was supposed to be more “realistic”- dealing with real issues, and not just prganizing baby parades and dance recitals. In a way, I can see the benefits- but there was something refreshing about the innocence and wholesomeness of the BSC. It made me feel like true happiness in friendships exist- that no matter who you were or what you wore you could still have a group of friends. I was nervous to see the people in the BSC world be corrupted.

So, it is a diary- that means the whole thing was written in Dawn’s handwriting. How annoying! But if you think back to the handwriting from the BSC notebook, I am glad it wasn’t Claudia’s with the mispelling or Stacey’s stupid hearts over her “i’s”. Most of it is diary-style and explains more of Dawn’s thoughts, but it also includes dialogue among her friends. Whose diary included actually dialogue between people?

So, Sunny Winslow’s Mom is in the hospital dying of cancer and Dawn is being all judgemental that Sunny isn’t visiting her as much as she should. Shut up Dawn, are you also going to lecture us on the benefits of recycling? Her friend Maggie is a recovering anorexic and she has another friend Amalia, and I don’t know the deal with her. They also have a guy friend named Ducky who is sixteen whose friend recently tried to kill himself. I don’t know why Ducky hangs out with a bunch of thirteen-year-old girls, but hey, to each his own.

What happened to the We [Heart] Kids Club? Maybe they all looked at each other one meeting and said “why the fuck are we doing this? We are thirteen and should be sewing our oats.” Not that thirteen year olds use that expression, but you get my point.

The other main thing is that Dawn really wants to go to a concert by her favorite band Jax with Ducky and the gals, but she needs to convince her father and her evil stepmother Carol to let her go. Her swooning over the singer of the band reminded me how much I used to moon over bands when I was thirteen. My room was plastered with pictures of Sebastian Bach. Okay, and maybe the Nelson Twins. With a little bit of Bret Michaels. Oh hell, I still moon over bands that way now.

Okay, you know what? This book ain’t half bad. A lot of it is just simple thoughts and observations about her friends and family. So maybe stuff isn’t resolved in one book like the original BSC, but I felt I was actually reading a thirteer year old’s thoughts.

Ducky and Sunny end up getting drunk so Dawn needs to call her Dad to pick them up and Dawn gets in trouble and Sunny continues to be mad at her. Sunny actually acts like a real beast and chides Ducky for not having friends his own age. Ouch! Something tells me Ducky comes out in the later books. Finally, Dawn and Sunny make up because Sunny admits that she is pushing people away so she doesn’t need to get close to them.

n the regular BSC series, Dawn’s persona was being the “California casual” girl. Now that she is in California, what makes her special? She turns into yet another angsty pre-teen. Thank god there was not a lot of mention of alfalfa sprouts and tofu or long, white-blond hair.
In one passage on a Sunday night, Dawn wonders what her friends are doing in Stoneybrook and comments that they always have so much planned that they need another weekend to recover from the weekend! Yea, Kristy is a regular party animal!

I would have said it would be cool to advance Dawn and her group of friends to at least fourteen- but they are still thirteen. So in one year, Dawn moves to CT, joins the BSC, Jeff moves back to California, Dawn visits about a hundred times, and then decides to move back herself? It is a bit ridiculous.

I’ve pretty purposefully chosen not to do BSC books on this site for the sake of time and because there are already several good sites out there for it. But, I managed to get this one for 99 cents at a used book store. And you know what? I want my money back.

So I never read the mysteries when I was into the BSC, and now I know why. I never cared about the mysteries, I was more interested in the boys, the ballet dancing, and the diabetes. But this…was the most horrendous piece of literature I have ever read. Wtf? I know at this point Anne M.’s ghostwriters were pooping out BSC books like crazy but seriously, was she still okay with putting her name on this?

I could probably make a better cover using Windows paint. And the caption “It’s a mystery with nine lives.” What does that even meeeeeeaaan? So the plot, I guess, is that there is an old house in Kristy’s neighborhood that is burglarized by the titular cat burglar, who draws a cat on the mailbox at every crime scene as his “calling card”. Kristy and her frenemy Cary Reitlin are there at the time and investigate more. The house belongs to Reinhard Golem, some pervy old guy who invites the kids in and actually calls Kristy several times later to ask her to help solve the mystery. What is that about? Krsity also brags that she and the club are really good at solving crimes around the neighborhood so the old guy who owns the house that was burlgarized enlists them in helping them solve the mystery. I know…so stupid.Turns out he was the one planning the whole thing and also tried to use the kids to try and frame a local police officer. He also holds the kids hostage for a bit. It actually turns out that Kristy and company actually made the situation WORSE by being involved, but they still get a fucking key to the city of Stoneybrook for helping out.

This didn’t even read like a BSC book, the emotions were so detached and the story was stupid. I have to go back and read Logan Likes Mary Anne to rekindle my BSC luv. We get all the secriptions of the club at the beginning, but they are BARELY in it, so what’s the point? Also, along with their useless BSC notebook, they also have a mystery notebook where they keep track of clues of all the mysteries they are working on. I KNOW! SO FUCKING STOOOPID!

Oh, Ranheim calls Kristy at home to chat about the clues. Can her parents please monitor their phone calls? Or are they too busy rolling around in Watson’s millions and adopting Vietnamese babies?

They work with Seargant Johnson who they know well and is their friend. That is so inappropriate. I don’t care how good someone is with kids, when an adult is friends with a kid they are not related to, it’s just WEIRD and INAPPROPRIATE. In fact, when he thinks he is being framed, he shows up at Kristy’s house to ask for help. If you need a thirteen year old’s help with this, he should NOT be carrying a gun or a badge.

Also, Andrew, Kristy’s little stepbrother, now lives with his mother. What happened there?

Of course, there are the obligatory chapters on their babysitting exploits. Charlotte Johannsen decides to go all Harriet the Spy and spy on the people in her neighborhood. And her sitters not only let her, but go with her! Even after acknowledging that in Harriet the whole thing blows up in her face! So I don’t have to tell you what happens…that Charotte’s friends get mad at her for spying on them.

I never read the ones where Abby showed up, but I gotta tell ya, she doesn’t seem all that bright. And kind of annoying.

Viva la original BSC!

Seriously, the mysteries SUCK.