Worst YA Boys, Pt. 1

23 Oct

To refresh your memory, the “best” YA boy toys are here and here. But of course, doing the worst ones are way more fun.

10. John Pfeiffer, Sweet Valley High: He went from being your friendly Oracle news reporter to a mad rapist. All because he was scorned by his ex-girlfriend. And we all know you don’t fuck with Lila Fowler. Who would play him?

Zabka, obviously.

9. Lenny from the Linda books, as in, My Heart Belongs to That Boy. Break up and made-up almost as much as Liz and Todd, However, his bad boy image didn’t make up for all his whining and neediness. Who would play him?

Jared Leto, the Jordan Catalano years.

8. Chad from Fall Into Darkness. Yea, so he kind of likes to murder girls that scorn him. Which, is like a lot of Christopher Pike male characters, but he was the one that was mostly all evil. Whop would play him?

Jonathan Brandis, duh.

7. Presley Travis from Sunset Island. We get, you’re Southern. And flirty. And named after Elvis, because you were born to rock. Also, he feeds Sam’s ego, which is annoying. And then he cheats on her with Emma. And he’s no Billy Sampson. I also will never forgive him for wearing bike shorts and a neon green tank top. Who would play him?

The Nelson twins would share the roll.*

6. Logan Bruno, The Baby-sitters Club. More Southern annoyingness! Maybe it’s how is accent is spelled phonetically, not that he is actually Southern. I could never really understand out what the big deal was about him. And then he tried to control Mary Anne’s life. And seriously, would a 13 year old boy really want to belong to a baby-sitting club? Who would play him”

Zefron! Don’t hate!**

Top 5 coming soon…..

*I have to share that in seventh grade I was BEYOND obsessed with the Nelson twins. It was almost clinical. I listened to the After the Rain cassette about a thousand times. I had a huge poster of them that I would stare at before I went to bed. [hides in shame]. Between them and Sebastian Bach and all the other hair metal guys in mnakeup, I was really into men that looked like women. Hmmm. Not sure what that means.

**This also made me think that Troy and Gabriella are kind of like Elizabeth and Todd. She’s the brainy studious one, he’s the tool on the basketball team. Quarrels and misunderstandings are almost central to their relationship. Does that make Sharpay Jessica? If you have no idea who these people are, you’re obviously a mature adult who doesn’t watch made for cable Disney Channel movies.

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37 Responses to “Worst YA Boys, Pt. 1”

  1. wendy October 23, 2008 at 6:44 am #

    Zefron is PERFECT as Logan. You hit the nail on the head with that one, I gotta say. Wow.

  2. Maybe I'll Catch Fire October 23, 2008 at 10:49 am #

    Zac Efron is ridiculously hot. And I know I’m probably too old to be fancying him (I’m only 25!)

  3. nancy October 23, 2008 at 11:58 am #

    I have to agree with Wendy… I laughed when I saw Zac for Logan, there couldn’t be a more perfect choice.

    Also why would we hate on him? He’s a slammin hottie. Heck, I don’t feel guilty about it at all, but then he’s only a year younger than me. However, for those of you feeling a flush of shame at the quivering in your loins, he’s 21 so don’t panic.

    I miss Jared Leto! Where has he gone?

  4. Jan October 23, 2008 at 2:44 pm #

    I LOVED NELSON TOO!!!! OMG! I LOVED AFTER THE RAIN!!
    I also adored Sebastian Bach, Bret Michaels and Joe Elliott of Def Leppard. I’d say Joe looks the most manly.

  5. Lauri October 23, 2008 at 3:05 pm #

    If Troy and Gabrielle are Todd and Elizabeth, does that make Monique Coleman’s character Maria? Obviously, I am not a mature adult to know this.

  6. Anonymous October 23, 2008 at 4:34 pm #

    Jessica is TOTALLY Sharpay!

    She should have played Liz and Jess in the tv show.
    It woulda made the show that much better.

  7. Megan October 23, 2008 at 4:35 pm #

    Jessica is TOTALLY Sharpay!

    She should have played the twins in the tv show. I would have watched it then!

  8. bookharlot October 23, 2008 at 4:58 pm #

    My first concert was Nelson! I was in 6th grade and my poor parents took me…My mom spent most of the concert in the bathroom with my 4th grade sister because the music was too loud, and my dad loved the pyrotechnics.

  9. freakapotimus October 23, 2008 at 5:09 pm #

    I had a huge Nelson poster on the back of my bedroom door. I feel like it was the exact pose you posted above. *shame*

    Fall into Darkness aired when I was a freshman in college. I taped it on the VCR and sometime after that my roommate taped over it, I think with General Hospital.

  10. Magpie October 23, 2008 at 5:12 pm #

    I liked Logan at first, but then I remember him seeming kind of angry in the later books. Then again, I definitely lost my love of the BSC in general after about #30.

    I totally love Sebastian Bach’s character in Gilmore Girls.

  11. ihatewheat October 23, 2008 at 5:51 pm #

    Bookharlot, I am beyond jealous that you saw them live. Did they wear sprakly sequin jackets with no shirt underneath? The poster I had matthew was wearing spandex pants and a cropped bolero jacket.

    omg, check out teh hotness: a lacy corset and pink floral jacket? I miss the 90s.

    http://www.musicmayhem.com/nelson4.jpg

  12. XOXO October 23, 2008 at 6:21 pm #

    todd and liz fit perfectly 4 gabriella and troy!
    they’re both so cheesy.

  13. Lauren October 23, 2008 at 7:00 pm #

    I think Zac Effron sort of looks like a girl…he’s almost too pretty lol. I like my men a little more manly! ;)

  14. Robyn October 23, 2008 at 7:25 pm #

    Wait, when did Presley cheat on Sam with Emma? I don’t know if I remember that from Sunset Island. In which deliciously cheesy book is that in?

    And Jan, I too love Sebastion Bach. Then, now forever. He played himself on an episode of the Trailer Park boys and then I loved him a little more…
    http://ca.youtube.com/watch?v=HsLm4Jw2wJg

  15. ILoveJonathanBrandis October 23, 2008 at 7:31 pm #

    Sad note, but Jonathan Brandis committed suicide in 2004 I think. It was a dark period of my life, I still have my 1994 (or was it 1995) Jonathan Brandis wall calendar, circa the SeaQuest years. :(

  16. annakelly October 23, 2008 at 7:46 pm #

    To be fair, Gabriella doesn’t have any of Liz’s meddling tendencies or her doormattiness or her “journalistic integrity” or her general air of condensation … God I hate Liz!

    (I love you, Zac!)

  17. Maybe I'll Catch Fire October 23, 2008 at 8:38 pm #

    I look at that picture of the Nelson twins and keep thinking how they could have done a better job in the SVH tv show…

  18. The Kuus October 23, 2008 at 9:19 pm #

    I’d like to add Stefan from The Vampite Diaries to the worst YA males list. Ok, so maybe he never killed or raped anyone, but he did spend his whole relationship with Elena whining about his first love, to the point that dating him seemed to me to be a fate worse than death (and undeath, which seemed kinda cool). Really, shouldn’t guys grow out of that whole spend each relationship angsting about the last one phase in about 300 years or so?

    Who would play him? Hmm, maybe that guy who played the silent teenage boy in Little Miss Sunshine. That about fits.

  19. Aimee October 23, 2008 at 9:25 pm #

    I got a bit sad when I saw Jonathan Brandis, but LOL’ed so hard at Zac Efron. I still love him though!

  20. ihatewheat October 23, 2008 at 9:47 pm #

    RIP Joanthan Brandis. Ladybugs was good. Seaquest was not. Talking dolphins say what?

  21. Anne October 24, 2008 at 12:05 am #

    Anyone else find it creepy in HSM when Sharpay and her brother start singing “What I’ve been looking for”? Incest much? It’s like Jessica and Steven doing a duet at the school musical, and Elizabeth and Todd stealing the spotlight? Hmmm… maybe they missed a plotline.

    HSM is sooo SVH… oh you tried to prevent me from going out with this person because they’re smart/a jock? It’s okay, we’ll still be friends… after all, I’m a Wakefield, everything worked out right in the end.

    Obviously I am very mature.

  22. Tannaqui October 24, 2008 at 5:05 am #

    Yay! You did the bad boys post like I suggested!

    Zefron as Logan, perfection! Though he’d be prettier than Mary-Ann, to be honest.

    Sigh, Joardan Catalano…..

    I loved Jonathan Brandis. (And still do) God, I tried to track down a copy of Ladybugs recently, but to no avail. I was sad – on many levels.

  23. Tannaqui October 24, 2008 at 5:09 am #

    Also, Jonathan Brandis and Chuck Norris and Winne Cooper in Sidekicks……there are no words. Pop culture explosion.

    And, any day I get to see Zabka, is a good day.

  24. kristin October 24, 2008 at 2:05 pm #

    I hope Freddie the Lobster from Are you ZThere God, It’s Me, Margaret? makes the list….

  25. kristin October 24, 2008 at 2:05 pm #

    I hope Freddie the Lobster from Are you There God, It’s Me, Margaret? makes the list….

  26. Vanessa Saxton October 24, 2008 at 7:39 pm #

    Sniffle, sniffle on JB. So sad. But did he really commit suicide? I read accidental death.

  27. Magpie October 24, 2008 at 11:35 pm #

    Is Jonathan Brandis the guy who was in “The Neverending Story II”?? I had no idea he had died. That’s really sad! :(

  28. kimmay October 26, 2008 at 6:53 am #

    Pres cheated on Sam in the Sunset on the Road book. She was cheating on him with Johnny Angel.

    Maybe I’ll Catch Fire, don’t feel bad I thin Zac is hot and I am 27. I liked him when I saw Hairspray.

  29. Cat October 26, 2008 at 9:25 am #

    Hey, SeaQuest was the shit! It was so bad it was good. Kinda like SVH.

    I love these lists.

  30. "Kitten" Whitman October 26, 2008 at 4:19 pm #

    Luuurved Zefron as Logan Bruno, spot on. But Zabka seems like more of a dumb jockish Kirk “the Jerk” Anderson than John Pfieffer to me. What about the dude with the overbite from 90210?

  31. Clubx October 27, 2008 at 8:20 am #

    Ihatewheat, don’t feel bad. I loved Sebastian Bach so much (and still do, actually) that I got a “Youth Gone Wild” tattoo just like his. Always loved the “pretty” men. My husband, thankfully, is not one of them. :)

  32. Fraser Sherman October 27, 2008 at 8:12 pm #

    I had one of those generation gap moments when I discovered all three of my twentysomething coworkers had crushed on Jonathan Brandis and had the identical poster of him.

  33. bookharlot October 28, 2008 at 7:40 pm #

    ihatewheat, YES! And the spandex pants. Oh my lord. And the women in the audience taking off their underwear and throwing it at them…it traumatized my poor little 11 year old self.

  34. Deathycat November 8, 2008 at 4:22 pm #

    “Between them and Sebastian Bach and all the other hair metal guys in mnakeup, I was really into men that looked like women. Hmmm. Not sure what that means.”

    After being obsessed with anime for the majority of my teenage years, I love a man that looks girly without being a transvestite. ^_^ I don’t know what it means either but know you’re not alone.

  35. CNJ March 18, 2009 at 5:43 pm #

    Check out the huge mess Logan stupidly gets himself into here at .

  36. CNJ March 18, 2009 at 5:45 pm #

    Shit, it didn’t show up; take two… http://www.fanfiction.net/s/446924/1/Homecoming_Scandal.

Trackbacks/Pingbacks

  1. The Worst YA Boyfriends, Pt. 2 « The Dairi Burger - October 26, 2008

    [...] 26, 2008 · No Comments Check out Part 1. I feel that these top five are pretty [...]

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